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The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal

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31–40 of 115 posts

Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal

#31

As someone who was born in Latin America, I always find those stereotypes about America funny. If anything, Americans can't fucking leave you alone for God's sake. They need to smile at you in the street, give you good morning, invite you to their churches, and bring you a pie after you move to the neighborhood. Ok, this is more of a suburban experience. But this is also quintessential America.

Please engage with the article. This is a serious issue that you're making a mockery of.

Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal

#32
This has more to do with how vast and rural America is (Europe is 3.5x more densely populated, more homogeneous), in addition to multiculturalism, which isn't inherently bad, but we're seeing discrete populations work themselves into enclaves. Add in the average American spending 5 hours and 24 minutes on their mobile device each day (article says Americans spend 20 mins daily with friends on average ... I think its very safe to say the phone took some of that time away), coupled with divisive media and rampant hedonism, we're gonna get alot more of this. Yes - Americans have an independent streak, but this American Dream/cowboy take is naïve at best.

Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal

#33

I spend so much of my time intentionally trying to cultivate community. In some respects, it is the over-arching theme of my adult life. I find community is very hard to come by so if I have to be the one to make it, so be it. I pay a pretty penny to be a member of a coworking space so I don't spend my workday alone. Three times per week I go to regularly-scheduled events (a game night, running club, and roller-skati…

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Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal

#34
I am going through something right now mentally as a middle aged man and being alone every day starting at 8:30am and only coming home to the same 3 people (who i love unconditionally) is kind of driving me mad. My professional life prior to covid had me weaving the halls of an office I knew and many of the people there were very special to me. To have none of that these days leaves my mind to be pre-occupied by things hard to escape. I'm ready for a change but I don't know if that involves going back to a 9 to 5 with a commute. I really like the top post on here about creating community and understanding its an investment. I hope others benefit from this as well.

Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal

#35

I spend so much of my time intentionally trying to cultivate community. In some respects, it is the over-arching theme of my adult life. I find community is very hard to come by so if I have to be the one to make it, so be it. I pay a pretty penny to be a member of a coworking space so I don't spend my workday alone. Three times per week I go to regularly-scheduled events (a game night, running club, and roller-skati…

Love your response to this :) came to the same conclusion. I do think friendships are getting "faster" and community "easier" to build - hopefully the next wave of friendships can be made faster & with fewer mental cycles.

Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal

#36
Society is driving loneliness. Look at the demands of school (and after school activities for that college app) and work. Everyone is so busy that it's hard to schedule anything once you have a job, house, family, etc. You need two incomes now, so that's that's a big drain on time when the schedules don't match up.

Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal

#37

I spend so much of my time intentionally trying to cultivate community. In some respects, it is the over-arching theme of my adult life. I find community is very hard to come by so if I have to be the one to make it, so be it. I pay a pretty penny to be a member of a coworking space so I don't spend my workday alone. Three times per week I go to regularly-scheduled events (a game night, running club, and roller-skati…

Greatest decision I ever made was getting a remote gig, leaving the big city, and moving to a small town. There is enough going on here to keep busy, and everyone knows eachother. Would never dream of raising my kids somewhere like SF. If you want community, go somewhere it's valued. Everyone in the big city is a transient, only there to make money and find love before it's time to head for the suburbs.

This works unless you can't find a large enough group of people that share your goals, values, etc. Those are the people that end up staying in cities regardless, and there are plenty of active communities for those folks.

Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal

#38

As someone who was born in Latin America, I always find those stereotypes about America funny. If anything, Americans can't fucking leave you alone for God's sake. They need to smile at you in the street, give you good morning, invite you to their churches, and bring you a pie after you move to the neighborhood. Ok, this is more of a suburban experience. But this is also quintessential America.

Please engage with the article. This is a serious issue that you're making a mockery of.

I don't agree with the premises of the article. For me, it is just someone trying to flag the usual ideological banner against individualism by linking it to a real problem.

Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal

#39

As someone who was born in Latin America, I always find those stereotypes about America funny. If anything, Americans can't fucking leave you alone for God's sake. They need to smile at you in the street, give you good morning, invite you to their churches, and bring you a pie after you move to the neighborhood. Ok, this is more of a suburban experience. But this is also quintessential America.

Please engage with the article. This is a serious issue that you're making a mockery of.

The article deserves mocking.

Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal

#40

While I am not a fan of American Exceptionalism, I think this article is more informed by the usual European prejudiced tropes about America than by reality, at least in the parallels between the traditions of rugged individualism from the Old West and the present epidemics of loneliness. The old Cowboy was based on self-reliance, he was not a loner because he couldn't connect with people, but because his adventures…

All the American exceptionalism and associated lone hero image was fine and dandy till the west was winning in the global stage.The urban culture got imposed on every other country of the world and in this model of development it was expected people to go as far as needed from their homes and roots in search of prosperity. It was in a way encouraged for decades and at least two to four generations of these countries grew up embracing this urban nuclear family culture and discarding their own culture of joint families and close ties. Now when the western civilization is on the back foot suddenly we are finding new love for community and close social ties. I am sure tomorrow if we find new riches in the mines of Mars and Saturn , the philosophy of the lone warrior will again be encouraged to recruit a new batch of lonesome spacemen for their decade long journeys to these planets.
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