I can't speak from personal experience, but in this interview Max Levchin mentions how his girlfriend was key in pushing him forward and giving him the strength to not quit during the days before Paypal - http://gigaom.com/2010/11/08/in-his-own-words-the-story-of-m...
Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
31–40 of 73 posts
Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#32A muse helps so much. I know I am supposed to be naturally deeply passionate about every single thing in my life all the time -- that is apparently now standard for educated people, nobody ever feels blasé about anything; feeling blasé is for poor people and stupid people -- but (gasp, horror of horrors) passion is sometimes hard to come by for me. Loving someone gives everything a special glow. Loving someone makes…
I think “blasé”, by definition, isn't for poor or stupid people, unless you're using it ironically.
Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#33Choose love over money. Always.
Falling in love with a wealthy girl makes the choice even easier though, or at least one who makes a decent living. It's better when you can do your startup without having to worry about bread on the table tomorrow.
Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#34Working hard and long hours is a part of my life–so if a partner doesn't mesh with that they don't mesh with me. I luckily tend to only be attracted to similarly driven people, so it usually works out for me. The few times I've strayed personality types there have been problems.
All and all, I do consider the force that makes me obsessed with a project to the point I can't get up for hours on end the same one as the one that makes me neglect the project a week later to experience a wonderful new and intense experience and I'm grateful for it. I'm lucky that I have the freedom to wander wherever my passion is at the moment.
Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#35Personally falling in love motivates me to do stuff more than anything else. Even if it didn't, I would still want to fall in love more than work on a startup. Why work on a startup now, so that you can fall in love and be happy later?
Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#36There is just one life...
Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#37As a woman who sees these young entrepreneurs in their twenties who routinely put work before relationships, I am sometimes dismayed. I've wondered more than once if their growth as men is being stunted. I suspect the stories of sacrificing love on the altar of your startup and the pain involved in doing so are just the stories you don't hear. New love and startups have about the same failure rate. No?
Yes, but when you succeed your start-up takes you to the bank, while your wife takes you to the cleaners ;)
I wouldn't consider that "succeeding".
Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#38Its all about getting the right balance and progressing in all areas of your life, not just one. Think about your ideal situation and work towards that. It's often helpful to think about your priorities using a four quadrant model - Self, Work/Money, Family, Community.
Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#39>molecular chemistry is a tough adversary
I hope you're sure the other party doesn't see this. Can't imagine that would go down too well.
That's all I am to you? Amino acid chains?
If obsession with love can be reduced to chemistry, then obsession with business must necessarily be understood similarly, and with a similar inward scepticism.
But yeah. However much you enjoy your work, it's not going to benefit it long term to let it give you tunnel vision. However fulfilling it is, you cannot live a one dimensional life and still be happy forever.
Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#40This is not so much a possibility as an inevitability. Chances are you will fall in love and it will disrupt your life whether you're starting up or doing something else entirely. If you're fortunate, you're new significant other will be a disruptive, yet motivating force. Moving you towards new heights that you had not imagined. But, it's more likely to be a struggle to balance your life's goals with your desire for…
> As for me, I've been with my wife for over 10 years (most of it dating), and... honestly? I think this relationship has had an adverse effect on my goals. I, kind of, think I'd be much more rich and successful had I never met my wife. Define successful?
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