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How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

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Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#291

Post by gensym »

saulpw wrote: post #211
gensym wrote: post #197

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That shit makes me so mad. Bringing people to your office in a truly vulnerable state - they're inviting you to judge them. Anyone who doesn't treat them with compassion and kindness lacks what it takes to be a good leader.

I've had the pleasure of interviewing someone, for a coding job in C, where it became clear within 10 minutes that they just didn't know C beyond "hello world". Through body language etc they indicated they weren't chagrined by their lack of knowledge and we should just move on with the interview. At one point I said literally, "You know this interview is for a C coding position, right?" I stopped that interview earl…

Yeah, I agree with you. There is a right way to do that, and I assumed the comment I was replying to was describing the wrong way to do it given their reaction.

I've ended plenty of interviews early when it's clear the candidate isn't going to work out. I agree there's no point in wasting everyone's time, and hiring is time consuming enough. But there's a way to do it with kindness, and I think everyone in the interviewer's chair should have some sense of how. (That said, there are some candidates that are going to take rejection poorly no matter what - you can control how you treat a candidate but now how they react).

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#293

Post by keybored »

mapontosevenths wrote: post #16
manmal wrote: post #2

> dig in your heels when confronted with overwhelming dissent Of course, the majority is always right and we should yield to it right away /s

One heuristic for spotting when you might be wrong is that you hold a very uncommon belief. It COULD be that you are correct and the world is crazy, but its far more likely that you are the one who is missing something. It's always worth stopping to double check when this happens. Perhaps more importantly, if you do happen to be right when everyone else is wrong its important to determine your goals. Is it more impor…

I’m going to ignore the whole socially-agreeable aspect.

Take a thousand subjects. I’m going to be wrong about 990 of them. Because I know just enough about it to think I might have a clue.

You could probably read up on something for five hours and have a better opinion on it than most people that you meet.

How many things are just passively received opinion? And what kind of signal is that? Oh no, all the Jacks and Jones disagree with me.

On the other hand there are some cases where you can go down some dark rabbit hole and gain false knowledge and education. Maybe studying political science or something.

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#294

Post by cooper_ganglia »

notthemessiah wrote: post #290
cooper_ganglia wrote: post #282

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ideologically isolated, obviously. The basis for its existence is to supply a platform for people who want to isolate from ideas and narratives they find uncomfortable, so they self-select into echo chambers that cater to their preexisting ideologies. That's their whole business model!

> platform for people who want to isolate from ideas and narratives they find uncomfortable Ahh, like how if you say the word "cis" on Twitter, you get banned because the idea that gender is not binary is an idea that the owner of Twitter finds uncomfortable wants to isolate the audience from. So he promotes his own tweets, shoehorns it into peoples feeds and notifications, in order to create an ideological echo cham…

I just searched Twitter for “cis” and found endless results, including a forgotten tweet of my own from 2+ years ago that’s never been taken down and I haven’t been banned for! :)

Nobody is getting banned for that, that’s just another Bluesky-ism!

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#295

Post by jancsika »

I feel like this was a) written by someone on the spectrum, who b) worked really hard to learn to communicate effectively (great job!), and then c) dumped their original internal state in a blog assuming everyone else has their same challenges.

Just take their strongest point:

> dig in your heels when confronted with overwhelming dissent

A few months ago I watched a college-age people-pleaser assertively turn down three peers pressuring her to hang out after work somewhere she didn't want to go. Three! She stuck to her guns, then looked up and nodded to me. I subtly nodded back. Real cowboy shit.

People are different and follow different paths of growth.

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#296

Post by notthemessiah »

cooper_ganglia wrote: post #294
notthemessiah wrote: post #290

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> platform for people who want to isolate from ideas and narratives they find uncomfortable Ahh, like how if you say the word "cis" on Twitter, you get banned because the idea that gender is not binary is an idea that the owner of Twitter finds uncomfortable wants to isolate the audience from. So he promotes his own tweets, shoehorns it into peoples feeds and notifications, in order to create an ideological echo cham…

I just searched Twitter for “cis” and found endless results, including a forgotten tweet of my own from 2+ years ago that’s never been taken down and I haven’t been banned for! :) Nobody is getting banned for that, that’s just another Bluesky-ism!

So this never happened?

https://techcrunch.com/2024/05/14/on-elons-whim-x-now-treats...

The policy was enacted less than 2 years ago, which is why your previous tweets didn't get affected, and it seems new Twitter owner might have since walked it back. Seems it also only affected mobile app users.

> In November, X ran a “timeline takeover” ad promoting an anti-trans film from PragerU, a conservative media nonprofit that has also been criticized for doubting climate change and downplaying the realities of slavery.

Climate change and the history of slavery... More ideas and narratives that the owner and his allies find threatening and uncomfortable.

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#297

Post by nnowack »

analog8374 wrote: post #110

This is satire. He is describing the attitude generally demonstrated on social media.

yea haha it was meant almost entirely satirically, and yea in part about online behavior. i also wrote it off hand in a couple minutes and didn't think a lot about it. the breadth of different interpretations has been very surprising to witness

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#298

Post by hfhc6s »

poemxo wrote: post #194

I am guessing the author is either criticizing people who are anti-social (in the pop culture definition) or believes he was before and after some thinking arrived at the conclusion that antisociety was not the way. But I don't feel it describes my internal motivations, so I've translated them to my behaviors: - if someone is confusing or upsetting you, assume it is your fault - interpret others' actions in the conte…

Detachment and Flourishing - https://oyc.yale.edu/philosophy/phil-181/lecture-8

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#299

Post by notthemessiah »

ecshafer wrote: post #209
ge96 wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

yeah the thing is I'm good talking to dudes, like cars this guy shows me his Porsche/I sit in it, has laser jammers built in, crazy. Like yeah when you're both into something you just connect my problem with women is I only interact with them when I'm physically interested in them otherwise I leave them alone so yeah I'm on edge like "I gotta land her" kind of thing, which I'm not saying is good, as proof of this I h…

Talking to random people about anything, and talking to girls, and talking to girls romantically are all separate skills from talking to someone about an interest. I am going to assume you're a smart, educated guy with niche interests. So even if someone comes up and talks about something you don't know much about, maybe Biology for example (no clue if this is true), you are probably able to fill in the blanks, find…

> Talking to random people about anything, and talking to girls, and talking to girls romantically are all separate skills from talking to someone about an interest

This is entirely contradicted by my experiences. Broad generalizations and generalizations about broads are usually wrong.

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#300

Post by nnowack »

shevy-java wrote: post #273

> if you must ask questions, imply the correctness of your originally held position by wording your question suggestively So, is the question legit? If so, why can it not be answered? This reminds me a bit of StackOverflow. "Question already solved" elsewhere. Well, before StackOverflow, people often asked a question, and were told "read the manual". So, were these people pro-social? Does the ORIGINAL position hold a…

hi! author here. the post was satire
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