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You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

neilthanedar.com

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Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#291

Post by cosmic_cheese »

johnnyanmac wrote: post #257
nradov wrote: post #236

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Which skills do you mean? If you're talking about skills in software development or investment banking then that might be true. But skills in welding or nursing can be applied anywhere.

Smaller areas have less hospitals and defense contractors. Nurses and Welders will be affected from the move too unless they already line something up.

Yep. I come from a rural area and my hometown has little to offer to nurses or welders. Be prepared for both a long commute and high chance of needing to switch to a different (likely longer) commute periodically to be able to stay employed without becoming hostage to a crappy employer. This is why all the young people (including myself) end up moving out and why the town is approaching being entirely elderly.

The countryside gets romanticized a lot but reality is not so rosy.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#292

Post by triceratops »

nubg wrote: post #256
timfsu wrote: post #218

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In my opinion, what you need is a person (or three), not a book :) Someone who relies on you, whatever the context, is some of the greatest motivation out there.

Can you elaborate? Do you mean getting kids? I just got out of a relationship that felt too close for me...

I think they mean you should commit yourself to something that you have to show up for regularly, because someone you care about is counting on you.

Not kids. Maybe start with a gym or workout buddy. Then work your way up to projects or volunteer work, with people you can't blow off.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#293

Post by koakuma-chan »

marcus_holmes wrote: post #262
nradov wrote: post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Be unkind to yourselves, people. I find the best way to prevent depression and burn-out is to be brutally, ruthlessly frank with myself. There's nothing positive in accepting weakness and failure. I always feel better when I hold myself to the highest standards and don't make excuses. Of course, I don't always manage to fully do that but it's something to aspire to.

Please don't do this to yourself. Please go and get help. Brains really don't work this way, and you are damaging yourself.

If you're sad just don't be sad. Easy peasy just like that.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#294

Post by kbutler »

thanedar wrote: post #212
yoan9224 wrote: post #196

The premise is interesting but feels incomplete. The "Monday morning excitement test" doesn't account for the hedonic treadmill - even meaningful work becomes mundane once your brain adjusts to it. Also, many people are genuinely burnt out from overwork, not just existential malaise. When you're juggling demanding work, family responsibilities, and barely have time for basic self-care, the problem isn't finding your…

You get off the hedonic treadmill by getting into something deeper like politics. I do feel like I'm an example of someone who's juggled marriage, kids, startups, etc. where how I finally got a clean source of sustainable energy was having a part of my life to truly chase my highest potential. And to me that's politics, and specifically anticorruption and Positive Politics. Glad that the "go into politics" ideas piqu…

Wow, politics seems the opposite to me. It has the morbid fascination of a train wreck. You can't stop it, you know it's going badly, yet you can't look away.

Family and building things are much more positive sources of energy to me.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#295

Post by canyp »

nradov wrote: post #287
dyauspitr wrote: post #242

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Medical assistance is not going to help when the thing that is making you depressed is the non negotiable 9-5 you have to do 5 days a week. You’re not in the right field you say? Then you’ll be depressed from the poverty that comes from abysmal wages and the complete lack of job security.

Unless you're in prison, everything is negotiable. But some people build a private prison in their own minds.

Ah, yes, low wages and precarity are just mental imagery people have constructed in their minds. If only those fools stopped lying to themselves! /s

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#296

Post by seph-reed »

Stepping on my soapbox: Treat your mind, body, and present moment as if they're sacred. As if you could live a thousand lives and they would be sacred every time. All the other stuff, it's just this once.

Cleaning a mind of random grievances and addictions is good. Letting a body be weird, dance wrong, move in funny ways, sing poorly: this is good too.

The whole "purpose" thing is a side-effect. It can't be sought directly, I think.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#297

Post by lovich »

johnnyanmac wrote: post #289
nradov wrote: post #285

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Perhaps you were unaware but there are good jobs in industries outside technology. And if you want a tech job, well there are quite a few in Alabama. Some of them are centered around the Marshall Space Flight Center.

Cool. So lemme just take 4 more years of school for 3x what I paid for back in the day and I'll be good to work at those non-tech jobs. Tough luck to those new grads who didn't have 4 years of foresight (or me who is already a decade into my career). >if you want a tech job, well there are quite a few in Alabama Hiring or "had a job up for 2 years but seemingly can't find nobody"? Seriously. Try applying to some of t…

I am with you 100%.

I am nearly 15 years into being a tech professional and competing with these kids for jobs and the thing that is horrifying me is that I am being told I am not qualified enough after getting through the filter where these kids are all washed out for not having 10 years of experience in a 4 year old field.

Even looking at retraining into a different career, every single US corporation has completely shed their training costs to put onto their labor force, but we've gotten to the absurd point where 4-8 years of training is needed for an entry level job while corporations wont guarantee that the field even exists in a year.

The people I've spoken to in the field who have the "pull yourself up by the bootstraps, everything's better than in the past, why are you all complaining" mentality are the same ones who have verbatim told me that having a job in charge of a technical area at a faang that pays only mid 6 figures and has 5 peers on the planet, is a non prestigious job because their father is a near billionaire.

A lot of people on this forum are going to be shelling out for security in the next decade or finding out that they are made of meat, and hungry people don't really care where the food comes from.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#298

Post by GMoromisato »

johnnyanmac wrote: post #251
GMoromisato wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't give up--it gets better. Yes, housing, education, and medical care are way more expensive now than in my era. There's no sugar-coating that. Education, you already have, don't try to buy more unless the math works out. You're young so hopefully you don't need much medical care. Housing is a big problem, I agree. If you can move to a cheaper state (Ohio? New Mexico?), that might help. The real problem is dating…

>If you can move to a cheaper state (Ohio? New Mexico?), that might help. it's already hard enough finding jobs in traditionally properous states. What am I finding in New Mexico? I also think it's a bit ironic that we need to work on relationships and meanwhile also need to move away from what's likely our existing social networks. >The real problem is dating and relationships. I think that's where we all need to fo…

If you believe that there is no action that could improve your situation, then you're right. You're stuck. Best just learn to accept what you've got.

But that is almost certainly not true. You are playing a high-dimensional game with a few hundred degrees of freedom and imperfect information. You already know how to play this game: make a move, see the result, adjust your strategy and make another move.

Of course, it's not easy. Maybe you don't know which move to make. Maybe you don't know which moves are available. Try the following: Ask HN. Describe your current situation, describe your goals, and ask HN for advice. I guarantee there are lots of smart people here who will answer. One of those answers might even be helpful to you. You never know.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#299

Post by nradov »

johnnyanmac wrote: post #253
nradov wrote: post #234

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Affording a house is totally within reach if you want to make it a priority. Quite a few US states have both a low unemployment rate and a high homeownership rate. Try Vermont, Alabama, Montana, New Hampshire, Maine, Wyoming, etc. I understand that failed progressive policies have ruined opportunities for youths in some other states and that sucks but nationwide the future is still bright. https://www.bls.gov/web/lau…

1. unemployment rate is low because people unemployed Doordash to make ends meet. This is not "a house is within reach" money. 2. saying "move to a state with less job opportunity" to afford necessities really shows how out of touch people are with the youth. They moving to another state with what money? How are they getting approved without a job in tow? 3. "I understand that failed progressive policies have ruined…

Do you seriously believe that a lot of people in Vermont and Wyoming are working DoorDash? Young people are literally buying houses in those places. Put your prejudices aside and look at the actual economic data. Or keep whining, your choice.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#300

Post by kovek »

habinero wrote: post #222
anyfoo wrote: post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don’t know. Doctors nowadays (especially in the US, it seems to be less prevalent elsewhere) seem very quick at prescribing medication. And while I don’t doubt that there are serious physiological conditions that warrant, even necessitate, medicating, my impression is that the first response to “depression” in general shouldn’t be medication. I’ve been depressed in the past, in my 20s even severely. Clinically, you…

Mm. I'm glad for you that you can just think about your problems harder and get better, but that's not the reality of it for most people with depression. Meds don't magically make you happy and they don't magically get you out of fixing the problems in your life. They make it easier and therefore possible to do so. I'd describe it as the crane that lifts up the heavy weight enough for you to shuffle out. If you can j…

Yes, I believe thinking can be hampered by depression...
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