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You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

neilthanedar.com

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Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#231

Post by aloha2436 »

loglog wrote: post #214
GMoromisato wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't give up--it gets better. Yes, housing, education, and medical care are way more expensive now than in my era. There's no sugar-coating that. Education, you already have, don't try to buy more unless the math works out. You're young so hopefully you don't need much medical care. Housing is a big problem, I agree. If you can move to a cheaper state (Ohio? New Mexico?), that might help. The real problem is dating…

Are we talking about the middle of World War II in the US? A war that resulted in exactly 6 civilian deaths in the continental US and destroyed all serious competition for US industry for decades to come? That was one of the economically most advantageous positions in history.

I think it is pretty reasonable to say that even for those in the continental US the state of the world in 1942 provided much more cause for concern than anything going on right now. At the very least, for a child born then you would be very unsure what kind of world they would end up growing up in.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#232

Post by parpfish »

athrowaway3z wrote: post #58
parpfish wrote: post #50

One thing that I always try to bring up in these discussions is that “burnout” and “overwork” are two different problems, and I think this author would agree with me. If your problem could be fixed with a raise or a nice vacation, that’s overwork. 996 schedules, crunch time, and a high cost of living make overwork. Burnout is when you stat asking yourself “what’s the point of doing any of this?” and your life is over…

I think you need to rework some definitions or vocabulary if "overwork" is solved by "raise". Maybe in extreme cases where a raise translates into big time savers like a maid, but those are not the type of raises you while keeping the same job.

For tech folks that are making comfortable salaries, a raise won’t help.

But if you’re in a position where there is difficulty affording your living expenses, a raise can make a huge quality of life change. It can remove enough stress from your life that the stress of your job goes from pushing you over the edge to staying within your limits

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#233

Post by tmcz26 »

brational wrote: post #129
socalgal2 wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Both of my parents worked full time. Neither of them seemed burnt out. Have plenty of friends where both parents work, neither seem burnt out. I'm always curious what makes it work for some an not others. Some of these couples are not high paid tech workers either. I'm even more amazed that some still find time for hobbies some how.

When you have over extended responsibilities you have to readjust expectations. Some adults never learn how to do that and feel miserable all the time.

Can you elaborate more on what you mean by that?

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#234

Post by nradov »

rozap wrote: post #72
nradov wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

By any objective metric the world is less broken than ever before. But people who want to be defeatist and cynical can always find a plausible sounding reason to justify their negativity regardless of the facts. I'm part of an older generation and not burnt out or existentially starving or whatever. And more importantly I'm not actually starving or dying of plague or being sent off to die for my king or any of the ot…

They want to be able to afford a house. Historically, in the US at least, for lower and middle class people that has been within reach. Now that's not the case. If I was in my late 20s and was lighting thousands per month on fire in rent, it'd be pretty darn alienating. Sure, if you zoom out far enough, the standard of living for zoomers is pretty good, there's not a mass casualty event when the potato crop fails. Bu…

Affording a house is totally within reach if you want to make it a priority. Quite a few US states have both a low unemployment rate and a high homeownership rate. Try Vermont, Alabama, Montana, New Hampshire, Maine, Wyoming, etc. I understand that failed progressive policies have ruined opportunities for youths in some other states and that sucks but nationwide the future is still bright.

https://www.bls.gov/web/laus/laumstrk.htm

https://www.statsamerica.org/sip/rank_list.aspx?rank_label=h...

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#236

Post by nradov »

cosmic_cheese wrote: post #184
lovich wrote: post #145

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are there jobs in those cities who sit in an area named after their economic collapse? Do student loan costs go down if you move to a low cost of living area? We had some movement in the direction of people immigrating to low cost areas like that with the rise of remote work, but then execs decided they didn’t like not having control over their workers live and did RTO. To their offices in the cities with high rent a…

Exactly. Do people want to live in desirable areas? Absolutely. The much bigger draw to expensive metros, however, are the vastly more robust job prospects that come with those areas. In a city, you have both much better chances of finding employment suited to your skills specifically, better chances of being paid well for it, and better chances of upwards mobility. Plus, should it become necessary you're more likely…

Which skills do you mean? If you're talking about skills in software development or investment banking then that might be true. But skills in welding or nursing can be applied anywhere.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#237

Post by highfrequency »

LeftHandPath wrote: post #235

For the first time in a long time, I can look at a title like this and not feel like it necessarily relates to my current situation. The past few months have been the happiest and most satisfied with life I have been in many years. Grateful.

What were the main drivers?

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#238

Post by nradov »

marcus_holmes wrote: post #209

Please note that depression != burn-out. If you really can't get out of bed on a Monday morning, can't face the day, or muster any enthusiasm for anything, then you might not need a purpose, you might need medical assistance. Be kind to yourselves, people.

Be unkind to yourselves, people. I find the best way to prevent depression and burn-out is to be brutally, ruthlessly frank with myself. There's nothing positive in accepting weakness and failure. I always feel better when I hold myself to the highest standards and don't make excuses. Of course, I don't always manage to fully do that but it's something to aspire to.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#239

Post by tyre »

nubg wrote: post #193
asdff wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My advice would be to keep up with a schedule that still keeps you pretty busy and ideally waking up early at regular hours. Once you hit actual rock bottom burn out, you know sleeping in until noon and scrolling message boards for three hours before you realized you haven't eaten yet all day and the sun is already setting, it feels almost impossible to turn the switch back on when you need to. Even something like fo…

Relating to my other comment under your post, I feel like I am becoming this. I urgently need to stop it and am looking for books on this topics.

Not sure if you're single, but go on some dates. Getting excited about another human being can be a huge boost. You don't need to replace work with other intellectualism (though you certainly can!)

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#240

Post by rozap »

icedrift wrote: post #86
rozap wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They want to be able to afford a house. Historically, in the US at least, for lower and middle class people that has been within reach. Now that's not the case. If I was in my late 20s and was lighting thousands per month on fire in rent, it'd be pretty darn alienating. Sure, if you zoom out far enough, the standard of living for zoomers is pretty good, there's not a mass casualty event when the potato crop fails. Bu…

Per Atrioc

I've been got
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