How to deal with extreme physical pain • Hacker News Board

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#291

Post by auganov » Sat, Oct 31, 2020, 11:53 AM UTC

eric_b wrote: post #112

I had chronic, severe, debilitating pain for years until I read the book: The Mindbody Prescription by Dr. Sarno [1] Someone on HN suggested it in a "carpal tunnel" thread. I didn't have carpal tunnel. I had a completely destroyed knee. No more cartilage. Bone on bone with every step I took (confirmed by MRI). Cortisone didn't make a bit of difference. I couldn't walk 20 feet without mind boggling pain. That book cha…

> Frozen shoulder is almost certainly a manifestation of TMS, at least for some large number of people. For those who understand the mechanism, it's clear that 2020 is going to be a bad year for people in terms of chronic pain. It doesn't need to be.

I like Dr. Sarno's work but his thinking around TMS is IMO the weakest part.

The main insight is really just the fact that a lot of pain doesn't reliably map to any physical conditions. Beyond that we don't know too much. We can infer the brain is involved but not necessarily how. Dr. Sarno takes a psychoanalytic approach focusing on repressed emotions and so forth. But one can come up with many other explanations. One's ideas about pain itself may be a factor.

If deep seated psychological problems were to blame it wouldn't explain how so many people get tremendous relief by simply reading the book.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#292

Post by jks » Sat, Oct 31, 2020, 12:10 PM UTC

banana_giraffe wrote: post #12

I have a chronic condition that causes pain. One of the things I've learned, in as much as I can, is I don't tell anyone. I'd rather be rude than explain I'm in pain. Not because I don't appreciate sympathy. Not because I'm ashamed. It's because I don't want your advice on how to make the pain go away or to deal with it. I'm tired of advice. I've got too much advice. I try things, I research issues. I talk to doctors…

I know the feeling. The most annoying discussions in my experience go something like this:

"Why aren't you coming to the company party?"

"Because that would likely exacerbate my chronic headache and I might be unable to work for several days."

"Oh wow, is it that bad? Have you tried acupuncture? My cousin had a headache and that really helped..." And a few minutes later: "Come on, the party will be fun, how bad could it be?"

I've learned to manage my condition well enough that people generally don't notice any problems. I've probably tried any remedies you can come up with, and so far the best way to cope is to live a boring life and go to bed at the same time every night after a peaceful evening. But because I'm not writhing in pain during the conversation, some people seem to think that I'm just coming up with excuses to not come to their party or whatever they are asking me to do.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#293

Post by talonx » Sat, Oct 31, 2020, 12:20 PM UTC

banana_giraffe wrote: post #12

I have a chronic condition that causes pain. One of the things I've learned, in as much as I can, is I don't tell anyone. I'd rather be rude than explain I'm in pain. Not because I don't appreciate sympathy. Not because I'm ashamed. It's because I don't want your advice on how to make the pain go away or to deal with it. I'm tired of advice. I've got too much advice. I try things, I research issues. I talk to doctors…

I can empathize. I have had doctors mock and scoff at my RSI related pains, and people who don't understand computer usage-related injuries give me all sorts of well-meaning advice.

I've stopped going to docs and listening to such people, and instead focused on overall strengthening. This strategy is mostly based on what kind folks at HN have shared in various threads as having worked for their RSI, and suffice to say, it has helped (not cured) much more than any other advice.

As a former marathon runner, I tend to stick to the adage "listen to your own body" along with medical advice.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#294

Post by grumple » Sat, Oct 31, 2020, 12:21 PM UTC

banana_giraffe wrote: post #12

I have a chronic condition that causes pain. One of the things I've learned, in as much as I can, is I don't tell anyone. I'd rather be rude than explain I'm in pain. Not because I don't appreciate sympathy. Not because I'm ashamed. It's because I don't want your advice on how to make the pain go away or to deal with it. I'm tired of advice. I've got too much advice. I try things, I research issues. I talk to doctors…

I hear you on not wanting the advice of others. I've also heard the flip side - where people had lived with pain for so long then somebody (my partner is a physical therapist) tells them something or teaches them something that changes their life and they wish they'd pursued it sooner.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#295

Post by srean » Sat, Oct 31, 2020, 12:33 PM UTC

banana_giraffe wrote: post #12

I have a chronic condition that causes pain. One of the things I've learned, in as much as I can, is I don't tell anyone. I'd rather be rude than explain I'm in pain. Not because I don't appreciate sympathy. Not because I'm ashamed. It's because I don't want your advice on how to make the pain go away or to deal with it. I'm tired of advice. I've got too much advice. I try things, I research issues. I talk to doctors…

I understand because I have been on both sides of this. Unless people are really pushy and persistent about their advice I take it as well-meaning empathy -- one of the few redeeming qualities of human beings. Otherwise, to the advice giver, it comes across as being shouted and yelled at when all you did is hold the door for a person.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#296

Post by geek_at » Sat, Oct 31, 2020, 12:38 PM UTC

gavinray wrote: post #185

hombre_fatal wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a shame how hard it is to appreciate the times we're in good health. Though probably an essential adaptation else we'd be in sheer amazement at all times while healthy if we could truly internalize how bad things could get. How would we get anything done if we could truly marvel at peak health if we knew what ultimately awaited us somewhere down the road.

"A healthy man wants a thousand things, a sick man only wants one."

"My friend has cancer and he want's an Iphone"

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#297

Post by DrAwdeOccarim » Sat, Oct 31, 2020, 12:40 PM UTC

treeman79 wrote: post #262

Retric wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sleep apnea is like knee pain in that loosing significant weight either makes a huge difference, or does nothing. Unfortunately, if it doesn’t work for you people will still constantly bring it up.

As someone who struggles with weight and chronic conditions. There are low hanging fruit. Dropping weight, removing processed foods, exercise are your bare minimum of what everyone should try for solving Medical problems. Now a lot of problems can be solved this way. Just not everything. I suffered exercise intolerance for decades. No mater how hard I tried I would need two weeks of recovery after any work out. Turne…

My spouse has something similar, do you mind sharing what the underlying problem was?

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#298

Post by jonno123 » Sat, Oct 31, 2020, 12:44 PM UTC

jwilber wrote: post #213

I had open heart surgery at age 27, and the months after were full of pain in my abdomen and genital areas. I went to multiple urologists, GI docs, etc. and was ultimately diagnosed with “chronic pelvic pain disorder”: basically a wastebasket diagnosis after they’ve eliminated all other culprits. It’s not known exactly what causes it, but a leading idea (that makes sense in my case especially) is that you’re basicall…

What kind of stretching helped?

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#299

Post by DrAwdeOccarim » Sat, Oct 31, 2020, 12:46 PM UTC

yobert wrote: post #130

Waterluvian wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife once said to me, "I don't need an engineer I need my husband." And it clicked. She doesn't want a fix. She just wants a hand to hold and for me to hear her frustrations.

I can tell already that I do this and I should stop. My wife just hasn't said it yet. I just always default to problem solving....

It's hard, but you'll start seeing it in more people than just your wife. And once you become the person who sometimes knows to just listen instead of immediately trying to fix, people will like you more.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#300

Post by DrAwdeOccarim » Sat, Oct 31, 2020, 12:48 PM UTC

DoreenMichele wrote: post #248

PaulKeeble wrote: post #232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think /r/cfs is a relatively good model and works fairly well and its counterpart forum phoenixrising also has similar qualities. They both have both been going through some growing pains of late with all the covid patients developing the condition but the rules and moderation is working well so far. /r/covidlonghaulers on the other hand is busy working out how to exclude various people and becoming pretty hostile…

Thank you. I have a form of cystic fibrosis, so a chronic fatigue group is unlikely to serve me well. Though I've "joined" and will keep my eye out for good ideas. Many years ago, I joined an email list for parents of people with CF (yes, I also have a child with CF) and when I joined it was mostly prayer requests: "My child is facing X surgery. Please pray for us." and then outpourings of sympathy because people wer…

Thank you for your comment, it was really illuminating. I work for a company that is starting clinical trials for a new type of CF treatment. Let me know if you'd like any info.