Earlier quoted context omitted.
[flagged]
I'll do whatever it takes for my kids, and I can accept the consequences. I can assure you I've thought about it.
[flagged]
Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls
281–290 of 689 posts
Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls
#282I think it's somewhat important to ask why this effect is more observable for girls than for boys, and Haidt does not seem to really reflect on that. Social media in and of itself is really just an accelerant for the particular set of social expectations we stack on girls and women around appearance and how that relates to self-worth. Boys have more capacity to transcend social media's focus on image and beauty by fi…
First paragraph: I agree
Second no, just because Haidt is not advocating in his bodies of work for feminism doesn't mean he is against a more equal society.
Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls
#283> Boys are doing badly too, but their rates of depression and anxiety are not as high, and their increases since 2011 are smaller. Bullshit. These numbers are self reported and show exactly the opposite of reality. Boys aged 15-24 are about four times [0] more likely than girls to die by their own hands, so clearly relying on self reported cases of mental illness is not very helpful and is likely to shift focus away…
Yes, we need to help both boys and girls. They have different needs and need to be approached in different ways.
Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls
#284I'm still reading it, but this is great so far. As a father to four little girls, though, it makes me feel really defeated. I can already see that social media has eroded my wife's mental health. I just don't know what to do in the next few years when our girls approach the age when everyone else will get an iPhone and have an Instagram account. I want to say no, but that leads to many other issues, including what th…
I once sat next to a dean of private school on a plane—she mentioned that the ~100 parents that sent their children to the school signed an agreement that they would restrict their children's access to social media until 9th grade. I have no idea how well it was adhered to or enforced, but it surprised me that the parents of the school and the dean were trying to collectively organize action around this issue to prev…
It makes sense to me that they would do it at the school level.
The pressure to use social media and etc will come from those around them. Being the one student not on social media would have it's own pressures I imagine.
Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls
#285I'm still reading it, but this is great so far. As a father to four little girls, though, it makes me feel really defeated. I can already see that social media has eroded my wife's mental health. I just don't know what to do in the next few years when our girls approach the age when everyone else will get an iPhone and have an Instagram account. I want to say no, but that leads to many other issues, including what th…
Middle School educator here. I can assure you that your daughters will not be alone when it comes to a moratorium on social media. However, the girls they may very well want to be friends with may be very much into social media and group chats. My advice is to be firm but also take steps to create social opportunities for your daughters. I have a 12yo and I host board game nights with amazing snack trays. I help her…
thank you for sharing this sobering but hopeful perspective
Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls
#286Earlier quoted context omitted.
I once sat next to a dean of private school on a plane—she mentioned that the ~100 parents that sent their children to the school signed an agreement that they would restrict their children's access to social media until 9th grade. I have no idea how well it was adhered to or enforced, but it surprised me that the parents of the school and the dean were trying to collectively organize action around this issue to prev…
And at 9th grade it's a free for all? Looking back the high school years would have been the worst for my own self esteem, angst, etc. Glad none of it was recorded. :)
Don't let perfection be the enemy of good.
Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls
#287Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don't think we need to go as far as to point fingers at MeToo for this. We have an entire generation of young adults who hit puberty after smartphones, social media and dating apps became standard. They might have never had to ask someone out in person, and going to a bar to meet someone would be the last place they think of. https://www.statista.com/chart/20822/way-of-meeting-partner-... To be fair I'm actually sh…
> We have an entire generation of young adults who hit puberty after smartphones It's unfair to blame #metoo, but it isn't unfair to blame a modern version of PC that expresses itself as puritanism. This is the least sex-having generation of all time. They're afraid that saying the wrong thing to each other is genocide or rape, especially the wrong sexual thing.
It's actually become more bimodal when it comes to approaching women, or at least this was accurate between 2013-2020: There are largely two groups of men--sexual outlaws and polite society. Sexual outlaws (star athletes, musicians, drug dealers, frat boys, etc.) are expected to behave outrageously and thus won't be overly chastised for making outrageous propositions, whereas an otherwise polite society member can be blasted for coming across as inappropriate in the wrong scenario. It doesn't necessarily line up with who's attractive and who's unattractive, either.
It reminds me of the Solzhenitsyn quote about knives. If a criminal is caught with a knife he doesn't know any better, it's his tradition. But if you're caught with a knife, this is a serious crime, and you must be harshly punished.
Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls
#288I think it's somewhat important to ask why this effect is more observable for girls than for boys, and Haidt does not seem to really reflect on that. Social media in and of itself is really just an accelerant for the particular set of social expectations we stack on girls and women around appearance and how that relates to self-worth. Boys have more capacity to transcend social media's focus on image and beauty by fi…
Reflecting on that question means saying things that many people would find offensive. It's a lost cause to suggest that corporations implicitly understand something innate about female psychology and are taking advantage of it, and that's exactly why social media wins; the current politics you mentioned are a protective layer against taking meaningful action against the machine. If society was as concerned about the…
You think it would be dubious for a society to value men and women equally?
Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls
#289Are there some parents here, who were able to convince their girls not to use social media? Was it a success? I think it’s very well documented, that social media can be really bad for kids. It seems to be much worse than drinking, smoking or bad relationships.
I don't think social isolation of girls is reasonable knee jerk reaction to their issues.
I don’t know if that is even true. Maybe it’s the better call to give the kids a pack of cigarettes and send them to the kids who smoke secretly behind the gym, who just laugh about the instagram princesses. Or are those kids also a thing of the past?
Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls
#290Earlier quoted context omitted.
I once sat next to a dean of private school on a plane—she mentioned that the ~100 parents that sent their children to the school signed an agreement that they would restrict their children's access to social media until 9th grade. I have no idea how well it was adhered to or enforced, but it surprised me that the parents of the school and the dean were trying to collectively organize action around this issue to prev…
At my kid's school the target is no phones until 8th grade. It seems many people adhere to the guidance, but that is only based on what we see casually, and we'll see how it looks over the next few years. Some 3rd/4th graders have smart watches which allow comms but not meaningful apps. Not sure it is a great compromise for my family, but interesting to see what results other folks find as we all navigate it.
My local Middle School sends out what feels like weekly (or more) emails about poor choices with phones at school, using them in the bathroom, etc.
My kid doesn't have a phone. But we get inundated with these emails and new plans on what to do and so on.
I wish they'd just confiscate them and only return them to the parents, or have some sort of phone not allowed without good reason (and revoke it if someone breaks the rules), but they seem averse to that kind of thing. The new rule is that they have to be powered off during school hours. I'm sure that will be complied well by the same students who already don't care.