How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers • Hacker News Board

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#281

Post by magduf » Mon, Aug 26, 2019, 2:53 PM UTC

kortilla wrote: post #278

magduf wrote: post #274

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I know plenty of people who live in France in comparatively tiny apartments or homes, who still feel the need for both spouses to work to make ends meet. What kinds of careers do these people have? If they both have low-paying jobs, then that's unfortunately understandable. But the McMansion-and-2-SUV-owning Americans I derided earlier aren't people with low-paying jobs, those are people with high-paying jobs who fr…

Gas guzzling SUVs are bad for the environment, but do not support your point. Gas is cheap in the US so 20,000 annual miles of driving at 20mpg is only ~$2500 for the year. Swapping them out for 40mpg hybrids only saves $1250 annually, which is negligible in the scheme of deciding on dual incomes.

>Gas guzzling SUVs are bad for the environment, but do not support your point.

For one, they're a sign that people are probably living beyond their means, buying things they don't need.

>Gas is cheap in the US so 20,000 annual miles of driving at 20mpg is only ~$2500 for the year.

That's a conservative mileage estimate. There's lots of commuters who drive quite a bit more than that. And gas is only cheap right now; earlier this decade it shot up to about $4/gallon for a while. I've seen this many times with Americans: gas hits a local minimum, so they all run out and buy enormous SUVs. Then gas prices go up, and they all whine about how much they're paying for gas, so they trade in their SUVs for smaller vehicles. Then gas prices go down again and they all run out and buy big SUVs again. It's idiotic.

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#282

Post by dhimes » Mon, Aug 26, 2019, 3:11 PM UTC

sundvor wrote: post #280

dhimes wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I also see this pattern. I've maintained at least some level of exercise throughout raising three kids, but somehow I have a strong desire to eat , and the willpower required to shed the weight is really all-consuming. When my last (of 3) goes to college next week I wonder if anything will change.

That's a big change, all the best for the next phase of your life! Getting into a more regular exercise routine might be a good thing. Weightlifting works well for myself, alas it does nothing to curb the appetite. :) But it's a great way to relax the mind and get a break from everything. It helps produce testosterone as well, supposedly.

Yeah, weightlifting is the problem- it makes me hungry. I now do a four-day split: two days weights; two days core-conditioning. I've been pretty good about regular exercise all my life- with large (months) excepted for big change-of-life things like moving, having a kid, and so on. At the time if felt like I was falling behind if I wasn't exercising, but looking back it was only a small perturbation to my overall habits.

So if you find yourself likewise falling off the wagon, cut yourself some slack. You're playing the long game.

Now if I would just cut my serving sizes in half! :D

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#283

Post by auiya » Tue, Aug 27, 2019, 5:03 PM UTC

throwaway97533 wrote: post #250

auiya wrote: post #210

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People have a hard time admitting in retrospect they wished they didn't have kids because of biological bonding. My life would have INFINITELY less responsibilities and much more money had I not had a child. Are those things worth trading in retrospect? I don't know the answer to that because the toothpaste is already out of the tube. I'm currently middle aged, but if given the opportunity to go back in time and choo…

What would have happened to me if I hadn't become a father? Would I have been financially a lot better off without kids to pay for, free to do whatever I want, had a lot time to myself? Maybe. On the other hand, I might not be here. Having kids was the best reason not to commit suicide I've ever had.

That's rather drastic, but I'm glad that worked out well for you. Everyone thinks prior to having kids that their kids are going to be the next Carl Sagan. Nobody ever considers that their kids might be the next Jeffery Dahmer.

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#284

Post by makeset » Wed, Aug 28, 2019, 1:01 AM UTC

agent008t wrote: post #132

So, reading this thread is making me really not want to have children. Seems like one would have to be completely insane to voluntarily sign up for that. People that have children. Do you think it was honestly a good idea in retrospect, and if so, why? If your wife had been on the fence about having children, would you have preferred to go child-free, in retrospect?

I was no particular fan of children or parenting before, but eventually I decided that raising children is such a significant part of the human experience, I'd be opting out on a huge chunk of what this life has to offer. Sure, it has major downsides and risks, but is also unmatched in its potential emotional and existential rewards. Going without may be perfectly rational for a given person, but for me, the opportunity cost tradeoff weighed in favor. That said, I became a father in my 40s after having had a pretty good run already, and that's definitely not something I would do any differently.

TL;DR: YOLO/FOMO.

Re: How Men’s Bodies Change When They Become Fathers

#285

Post by kortilla » Fri, Aug 30, 2019, 11:54 PM UTC

magduf wrote: post #281

kortilla wrote: post #278

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Gas guzzling SUVs are bad for the environment, but do not support your point. Gas is cheap in the US so 20,000 annual miles of driving at 20mpg is only ~$2500 for the year. Swapping them out for 40mpg hybrids only saves $1250 annually, which is negligible in the scheme of deciding on dual incomes.

>Gas guzzling SUVs are bad for the environment, but do not support your point. For one, they're a sign that people are probably living beyond their means, buying things they don't need. >Gas is cheap in the US so 20,000 annual miles of driving at 20mpg is only ~$2500 for the year. That's a conservative mileage estimate. There's lots of commuters who drive quite a bit more than that. And gas is only cheap right now; e…

>For one, they're a sign that people are probably living beyond their means, buying things they don't need.

Nope, buying an SUV indicates nothing about living beyond means. It’s better to have one SUV than two priuses. And again, 1-2k a year in gas is hardly a dent in car ownership costs.

$4 is super rare to never for most of the US and so is the super commuter stupid enough to drive an SUV for their super commute.

>Then gas prices go up, and they all whine about how much they're paying for gas, so they trade in their SUVs for smaller vehicles. Then gas prices go down again and they all run out and buy big SUVs again. It's idiotic.

That does sound stupid, good thing it’s now how anyone actually functions. Most popular SUVs today are the smaller ones that get twice what a Tahoe or whatever of 15 years ago would have gotten.

I suspect the issue is that your model is based on observed people in places with lower costs of gas and living and applying the costs of some big west coast metro to that lifestyle. That’s about the only idiotic thing going on here.

Here’s a tip: if you find yourself in a scenario where you think people are wasting buckets of money for no particular reason on a massive scale, you’re probably wrong.