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Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#271

Post by FWKevents »

leonroy wrote: post #122
deathanatos wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> if you are in a position where you could potentially start a family I'm in my 30s, and this seems to be the trickiest part that people older than me — sorry — seem to want to just pave over. House prices are bananas. Trump, COVID, Russia have erased years of investment gains. Student loans are a constant tax on my finances (that I'm almost free of… …soon…). Wage growth has been stagnant (my career has seen ~4.7% Yo…

I feel this living in London and seeing my parents having achieved a measure of success at a younger age far greater than my own. But not every country has seen this level of affluence for the generation before ours and indeed not every race. Minorities in the US in particular might argue otherwise about whether the previous few decades were better than the current ones. Whenever I feel tempted to look at the past wi…

Yes, I'm named "Faith" because the Cuban Missile Crisis put such existential dread in everyone. Bomb shelters were built in all sorts of public buildings, and people dug underground bunkers in their backyards. They imagined they'd survive the nuclear winter like an underground rat, eating canned food and hoping their water didn't run out before it was safe to go outside again. It wasn't until the SALT treaty signed by Pres. Nixon and Leonid Brezhnev in 1972 - 10 years after the Cuban Missle Crisis - that tensions eased. It's hard for younger people to realize how dire this felt. The modern corollary is the threat of annihilation due to climate change. Some people wonder today why they are bringing children into a world that may be doomed, but that feeling is not new. It's just that older generations were more stoic. Most didn't talk about their feelings with each other, they just got on with life despite their dread. I'm so glad that stoicism is mostly a thing of the past.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#272

Post by FWKevents »

deathanatos wrote: post #155
unmole wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Trump, COVID, Russia have erased years of investment gains. I'm sorry, what asset classes did you invest in? Because Trump and the Covid stimulus were both very beneficial for my investments. Sure, the market has taken a beating of late but it most definitely has not erased years of gains.

Mixed; I have an account with Schwab that — beyond some basic information about my goals, age, investment risk tolerance and the like — mostly manages itself. I'm not even remotely a beginner, let alone an expert, in investments to trust myself to manage it. I figure I'd be even worse off if I tried that. (I do have some stock that is just mine, and it's done some good, and some bad. It's a nice amount, but the probl…

Yes, I live in Pennsylvania. My husband and I are some of the very lucky ones, but there are many areas of the state that are just cataclysmically destroyed by economic hardship. Some people have no remote hope - ever - of doing a tech job, and need to do manual labor. These people vote, they are proud people, and they are ready to believe ANYONE, no matter how crazy, who will tell them that their precarious and depressing life situation is not their fault. This is how we got into our current political situation.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#273

Post by yywwbbn »

spacemanmatt wrote: post #254
yywwbbn wrote: post #232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There very significantly less trees in Europe (also wildlife in many places) 100 years ago. Same applies for industrial pollution (not CO2 emissions).

Yes, pollution and climate change affect everyone and I am saying that is entirely unfair because many people did not choose these things, do not contribute, and do not benefit. The loss of trees in Europe is due to global effects, not just pollution in/by Europe.

Sorry, there was a typo in my comment (very -> were). What I wanted to say is that the situation in Europe is actually better in most places now than it was in the past.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#275

Post by FWKevents » 

    I wish I had realized my value as an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurship provides tremendous value to society. While government gets gridlocked and seems incapable of providing even the simplest answers to human problems, entrepreneurship is solving human needs and providing value at a very fast pace. So many tools are available to ordinary people for free, that used to be
expensive. Before the internet and the explosion of tech entrepreneurship, GPS systems once cost $400. Dating services with a human matchmaker once cost $2000. A file sharing system like Dropbox or Google would have taken a mainframe and a staggering amount of money to build just for a small group of people. Now all of these things are FREE to anyone who wants to use them and has a smartphone. And it shows also in the level of education and advancement I see among young people. The whole level of discourse is much higher-level than it was in the 1970s due to the sheer amount of information available to anyone with a smartphone or a laptop. Entrepreneurs are the people who make their own "luck," and shape their own destinies. And they do it all just by refraining from watching much television, TikTok/Snapchat, or playing too many video games, being efficient in their personal spending, and buckling down with commitment and vision to an idea to solve a human problem. They are the butterflies of the world - flying above a world of ordinary insects. On a darker note, however, I have had the sobering realization that we influence each other. It's imperative to avoid too much contact with negative or manipulative people. The people who are the best at manipulating others are the ones who seem the most charming or persuasive at first. Some can even be "pillars of the community" types and spout the importance of doing good for others, or having an advanced progressive political philosophy. These are the hardest to spot. They can worm their way into your life, and slowly take control over your way of thinking about things, until one day you wake up and wonder how you got to where you are. Red flags to look for are someone who makes subtle attempts to separate you from friends or family, and/or criticizes things about you that others let slide. I'm not talking about helpful, constructive criticism, but the kind of insidious criticism that sticks in your head, but does you no good. Avoiding such people can honestly mean the difference between you being able to build the future and being kind to yourself, or getting sucked into a vortex and not being able to save yourself, let alone build anything for others. It's super important to be aware of and avoid such people.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#276

Post by FWKevents »

kstenerud wrote: post #81

I wish I had known the truth about romantic relationships. Would have saved me a lot of trouble: - Women are not all the same. Men are not all the same. There is no single approach. What works for your friend won't necessarily work for you, because you're different people and thus after different things. - "pick up lines" and pick-up-artist techniques and all that kind of bullshit are just that: bullshit. At best you…

This is all great life advice!

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#277

Post by FWKevents »

borroka wrote: post #242

1) Start a lucrative career much earlier. Money solves a lot of problems and makes life of much broader horizons. 2) Go out, date men/women as preferred, have as much exciting time and adventures as possible. 3) Move on from relationships that didn't work out as quickly as possible. Nothing is ever learned by crying over what is not there anymore. There is always something better waiting for you. And yes, you can let…

I concur with all these points, but especially about money broadening your horizons. I thought in my twenties that money didn't matter. I learned as I got older that accumulating money is your personal freedom. A life without money is a life without nearly as many possibilities or personal power.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#278

Post by FWKevents »

AnimalMuppet wrote: post #36

Learn who you are. People matter, even if you're an introvert. Make friends. Don't be a jerk to people. How you dress matters, even if you think it doesn't (or shouldn't). You don't have to "dress to impress", but don't look like a slob. Develop empathy. Don't be so focused on getting your code to work, or your hobbies, or whatever, that you don't notice when people are in pain.

Great advice - all of it. I like that you included how you dress matters, along with being nice and having empathy! :) I've learned this, too. Unless you're a billionaire who can get away with a hoodie and socks/sandals as a work outfit, dressing to aim for the level you want to achieve is always a good strategy. It will make you stand out in people's minds. Just like you can't see the outside of a house when you're living inside it, you can't see the impression you're making on others and how much of that is visual. It's probably more than you think.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#280

Post by FWKevents »

yesenadam wrote: post #201

Not quite an answer, but I found Gail Sheehy's (bestselling) book Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life super-enlightening. Highly recommended. It's like a road map of broadly what to expect as you go through life, and get older, decade by decade. Things you might think are problems unique to you, you will learn are normal and part of life. Hard to explain, but I found it mind-blowingly good. Hmm I must read it…

This is a great answer. Having a blueprint and knowing your challenges are not unique is very good for mental health.
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