Can someone share any relevant experience with this? Best would be if you did it properly under supervision of clinical professional, or if you are a professional here, by any chance. Doesn’t matter if it’s US or not.
By the time I took Ketamine in a clinical setting (legalized in California), I was spending 80% of my time fighting negative narratives inside my head. "I want to die" (not really, but my engineering brain had decided this was eventually a solution to every problem... Louis CK has a bit that is basically identical to the way my brain was thinking)... "this person hates me so I should hate them"... "all I ever do is fail". I only had 20% of my brain left for interacting with others. I was not a nice person to be around for any period of time. I would be withdrawn a lot because I was in my head.
My therapist asked me once "what would it feel like to wake up and not immediately feel defeated?" and I legitimately had no idea.
After a series of ketamine treatments the narratives calmed down immensely. 80%->10% to some periods in a day of 0%.
I truly despise the actual act of taking ketamine. If you're doing lozenges it tastes like shit, I always felt very nauseous after the trip. I found the trips weird and not therapeutic. Like weird patterns, sometimes seeing things gloopy, sometimes odd experiences that sound fun but just felt strange and disconcerting like flying through hyperspace with Gandalf. But the long-term results have been life-changing.
I would recommend ketamine to anyone who has gone for 2+ years or 2+ psychiatrists and haven't seen the results they had hoped for.