Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation • Hacker News Board

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#261

Post by helij » Fri, Mar 31, 2023, 1:36 PM UTC

bradstewart wrote: post #246

sgtnoodle wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Indeed. We have a 5 month old and a 4 year old, and my wife broke her leg with a compound spiral fracture two months ago then subsequently developed vertigo and hearing loss from unexplainable inner ear damage. I can't say preschool has helped us out much, either. After the whole family became violently ill from a preschool norovirus, I've now been plagued with an upper respiratory infection going on 20 days or so. I…

Thank you for this. Similar situation here, 2.5 year old and a newborn, and I have been having serious trouble keeping my head on straight. I've had so many viruses since the older one started preschool 8 months ago, I can't remember what feeling good feels like. The lack of sleep from trying to help my wife feed the newborn on top of keeping a norovirus-infected toddler away from said newborn in-between my own trips…

Yep, that's how it is :)

It gets better!

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#262

Post by yamazakiwi » Fri, Mar 31, 2023, 4:20 PM UTC

inconceivable wrote: post #239

yamazakiwi wrote: post #230

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because it is common for people in bubbles to forget, that's the entire point. It should be easy for you to ignore if you've seen it as often as you state. It sounds like you prefer a conversation to be more tailored to your experience, that is normal. In places like HN, a large portion of people live in their bubble and don't see out of it. Bringing up a more common experience is necessary to put a topic in complete…

the fact that you are posting on HN and able to form complete sentences is a privilege. just this morning i walked past a homeless guy that was clearly out of his mind and on drugs. won't you think of him when you enter your bubble of keyboard-ability? i demand that you acknowledge his state of precariousness in a sacrificial caveat before you speak one more word of your laptop-able existence. afterwards i demand you…

I was gonna say that no one was bleeding heart baiting as hard as you're alluding but the imagery of demanding affirmations of gratitude was too funny, to the point I no longer care.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#263

Post by yamazakiwi » Fri, Mar 31, 2023, 4:34 PM UTC

prewett wrote: post #166

_ktx2 wrote: post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But, it did take optimizing house location/commute, etc To spell the quiet part out loud here, what you're describing is an extreme privilege in a world where homes near tech campuses often go for $1M+. New fathers aren't going to have a down payment for even $600k+. Tech at this point starts as a rich persons game which is why so many tech workers intermarry with other wealthy people. It takes two or a trust fund…

Using "privilege", with its connotation of inherited wealth, and applying it to a profession that pays well above average but is open to anyone--the opposite of inherited wealth--is kind of rhetorically dishonest. Disingenuous at best. It's also out of context, which was that two tech parents were discussing having time for family. There's a strong correlation between expensive homes near tech campuses and tech jobs…

But it's not open to anyone, open to more people than other prestigious positions but definitely not anyone... there are factors that limit your exposure or ability to perform in these positions obviously.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#264

Post by lynx23 » Wed, Apr 05, 2023, 7:58 AM UTC

flangola7 wrote: post #60

lynx23 wrote: post #33

If the pandemic has demonstrated one thing, it is that I don't want to work in an environment where almost everyone is remote. It has become very clear that WFH workers take extra time off at random intervals during a day, and are typically hard to reach if you need to talk to them. Also, the smaller the children, the more likely it is they are subtly unavailable during work time. This is not acceptable, even though…

The thing that's not acceptable is micromanaging bosses and the attitude that business is more important than family.

If you think family is more important then your job, then please just quit and dedicate yourself to what you think is more important.

But dont forget that family is an optional thing, that you decided to go for. Your coworkers without a family actually dont care how you spend your spare time. But if you are using your family as an excuse at work, we start to care, and see that you are trying to enforce unfairness.

Its your family, deal with it as you like, but dont take it with you to work.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#265

Post by flangola7 » Wed, Apr 05, 2023, 8:24 AM UTC

lynx23 wrote: post #264

flangola7 wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The thing that's not acceptable is micromanaging bosses and the attitude that business is more important than family.

If you think family is more important then your job, then please just quit and dedicate yourself to what you think is more important. But dont forget that family is an optional thing, that you decided to go for. Your coworkers without a family actually dont care how you spend your spare time. But if you are using your family as an excuse at work, we start to care, and see that you are trying to enforce unfairness. It…

Do you even listen to yourself? What would your friends and family think? I couldn't come up with more soulless corporate apologetics if I tried. Quitting isn't realistic because bills still exist, so unless you plan on paying those for me you might want to keep your inhuman nonsense to yourself.

You sound like those American walmart managers that tried to set up in Germany and got BTFO because spineless business worship is not entertained.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#266

Post by horns4lyfe » Thu, Apr 06, 2023, 1:48 PM UTC

nextlevelwizard wrote: post #249

horns4lyfe wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the point is that parents spending more time with their children might be more important than squeezing every last ounce of productivity out of people.

Depends who you ask and who is involved. I don't care one bit how much time you spend with your kids. However I do think it is a bit odd if you want to spend work time with your kids and expect your employer to be fine with that. Yes, yes, I know your point is that you can spend the commuting time with your kids, but realistically how strict are you about your WFH office? Do you even have a dedicated office where you…

So you admit that the commute is in fact an issue, and your solution is just move closer and get a smaller apartment? Surely you see that that’s not sustainable in the long run.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#267

Post by horns4lyfe » Thu, Apr 06, 2023, 1:51 PM UTC

nextlevelwizard wrote: post #249

horns4lyfe wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the point is that parents spending more time with their children might be more important than squeezing every last ounce of productivity out of people.

Depends who you ask and who is involved. I don't care one bit how much time you spend with your kids. However I do think it is a bit odd if you want to spend work time with your kids and expect your employer to be fine with that. Yes, yes, I know your point is that you can spend the commuting time with your kids, but realistically how strict are you about your WFH office? Do you even have a dedicated office where you…

And do you really not see how the way other people parent their children affects you? What do you think well-raised children turn into? What about children who grow up without love and attention from their parents? How much social dysfunction are you willing to accept?