The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

Post by nobodyofnote » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 9:36 PM UTC

PebblesRox wrote: post #240

nobodyofnote wrote: post #169

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you very much for sharing this. Me too. Like yours, mine occurred early. Like you, I was exposed to my abuser many times afterward. As a boy, I carried my shame in silence, and learned early to dislike and avoid extended family gatherings, masking my avoidance in a blanket of "family sucks/is boring" cynicism. As an early teen entering puberty, I grew increasingly disturbed about had happened. I tried to force…

Kidpower is my favorite resource for how to talk about personal safety with kids and teach them skills to help them stay safe with people. The Safety Comics are a good place to start: https://www.kidpower.org/books/safety-comics/ And I also learned a lot and had some big mindset changes from reading the giant Kidpower Book for Caring Adults, which really goes in depth and is good at breaking things down into simple p…

Post by EdwardDiego » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 9:38 PM UTC

resoluteteeth wrote: post #196

onphonenow wrote: post #186

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Parental testing should be mandatory at birth perhaps for these issues. Or at least if someone is going to go claim child support.

If it was going to be mandatory it would be much better to do it before birth using amniotic fluid. Waiting for the child to be born and then suddenly telling one parent that it's not their biological child isn't a great idea.

Post by wolverine876 » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 9:42 PM UTC

brnaftr360 wrote: post #236

Mezzie wrote: post #129

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> This isn't something that I have to personally worry about if I'm by myself, but it's something that so many women do have to worry about all the time. I can't even imagine the burden that women must carry. Not just women, but children. I was aware that I could be sexually assaulted/harrassed and what to do about it by the time I was 5, and I started getting uncomfortable comments in person around age 11. I'm also…

There's a considerable asymmetry here between men and women. I'm really curious about sussing it out and understanding how it develops. At an early age, about 5 or so I was exposed to sex, with peers, male/female. Later I was raped through coercion by two older children at 10-ish, male/female. Additionally none of this was ever reported until adulthood. As a male I've repeatedly been put in positions that I could des…

Post by greenonions » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 9:44 PM UTC

pessimizer wrote: post #153

greenonions wrote: post #101

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It seems rather insensitive to ruminate on future men's loss of sex because of sexual abuse. Perhaps the men in these sexless relationships should analyze if they are capable of sustaining this relationship, considering sex is so important to them and they are not receiving it. This entire comment does not consider the women's suffering and loss in any capacity due to abuse. Maybe it is the case that a similar comple…

I disagree. If the men are doing what you suggest, and find that they aren't capable of committing to a sexless lifetime and leave, that's even more misery heaped on the victim of abuse. Pretending like one pain cancels another out is counterproductive. Pain causing pain doesn't just stop there, it's nonlinear. Also suggesting that someone is basically an abuser for mentioning the pain of the families of abused peopl…

Post by int0x2e » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 9:50 PM UTC

Mezzie wrote: post #129

fullstop wrote: post #71

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My wife was summoned for jury duty, and the case had to do with sexual abuse. At jury selection time they ask if a prospective juror would have difficulty being impartial because of the nature of the case. If you were uncomfortable discussing the matter, you could ask to be taken aside to discuss without the others in the room hearing it. Out of a few dozen people, seven women left the room to explain why they could…

> This isn't something that I have to personally worry about if I'm by myself, but it's something that so many women do have to worry about all the time. I can't even imagine the burden that women must carry. Not just women, but children. I was aware that I could be sexually assaulted/harrassed and what to do about it by the time I was 5, and I started getting uncomfortable comments in person around age 11. I'm also…