The days are long but the decades are short • Hacker News Board

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#251

Post by johnnycarcin » Wed, Apr 29, 2015, 2:01 AM UTC

quanticle wrote: post #239

paulhauggis wrote: post #232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I get that this is aimed at the startup crowd, but I've always felt that this sentiment is pretty privileged. We, the elite, get to cherry pick our work and do what we like. But I bet 9/10 people will never feel they have this luxury, and 8/10 will be right." Privileged? Hardly. I worked a regular job for many years while spending years of my free time and weekends to create a business where I can now choose what I…

>I worked a regular job for many years while spending years of my free time and weekends to create a business where I can now choose what I work on. Then you did not have a regular job. You had a job that paid you enough to support yourself while retaining enough free time and mental energy to pursue your startup idea. For most people, this is not the case (esp. the mental energy bit).

I don't think that's a very fair statement. Some people are just "doers" and get off on working all the time. Some people also understand that you don't owe your life to your company (unless it is your own company) which means you make sure they don't take over every waking hour.

I guess maybe the issue is in the definition of what a "regular job" is... Over the past 15 years I've always worked at what I would call regular jobs, full-time jobs at large companies where people build careers. Many of these jobs included an on-call rotation. Until our first child came into the picture I was able to, and did, work on various other projects outside of work with the hopes of one of them making it big. None of them did but that work put me in a place where within the last couple of years I have been able to essentially pick my job and work at my desired pay. Now that our child is a bit older I've also gone back to working on smaller projects outside of my daily work schedule.

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#252

Post by mturmon » Wed, Apr 29, 2015, 2:07 AM UTC

kaiwen1 wrote: post #100

mikeg8 wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have an amazing father and grandfathers, all of whom I am close with. I've dreamed of being a father for many years (26M) and think I'll make a great one someday based on the examples I was fortunate enough to have. But I don't like the thought that as soon as you have a child, you instantly have to be defined by that. Is reproduction really the meaning to life? (Biologists say absolutely). And saying you don't hav…

Until it happens to you, it's impossible to appreciate how sudden, profound and unexpected this change is (for must people). It's not a thing you plan or attempt. It's hard wired into your genes. Baby arrives. New behaviors, feelings, and priorities ensue. Whatever you were rushing around trying to do before is now less important. Your primary objective is to make sure that life over there in the crib is protected an…

Here's a beautiful quote that expresses this profound change, and the sense that its consequences are to be accepted rather than resisted:

"Let's say gravity suddenly shifted a little making everyone a little bit lighter. It would likely make the news circuit for a while and make movers and other professional lifters particularly happy.

But after the scientists had explained again and again why it happened and all the potential story lines had been exhausted by newspapers and television pundits, religious zealots and idle conversationalists (“How about that gravity?”), we would accept it, perhaps with a individual joy all our own.

Which is to say, even though a slight shift in gravity on Earth literally changes everything on our home planet, after awhile we’d adjust. Occasionally we might think back to the days before gravity changed with wonder and even nostalgia, but we’d know that everything being lighter is just better on one of those annoyingly and truistically difficult-to-communicate levels and continue with the practice of everyday life, with appropriate changes to this new state of lightness.

Parenting for me is something like this."

*

This is by LA writer and critic Andrew Berardini, seen in http://www.broodwork.com/index.php?/projects/andrew-berardin....

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#253

Post by Laplace0096 » Wed, Apr 29, 2015, 2:30 AM UTC

JoeAltmaier wrote: post #33

I was 5 minutes late to work every morning, because of taking my son to school in the neighborhood where our new house was being built. I didn't want him to have to move schools in the middle of the year. Boss said "This won't do. You'll have to examine your priorities." I thought about it all day, that night. Next morning I got to work (5 minutes late), went in his office, said "I examined my priorities. Work is #12…

I'd have just got up 5 minutes earlier each morning.

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#254

Post by tlear » Wed, Apr 29, 2015, 2:43 AM UTC

mikeg8 wrote: post #24

sz4kerto wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having a child relativizes everything else and makes life so much easier because you don't need to figure out the meaning of your life anymore and you don't even need to be successful, neither personally nor professionally. This does not mean you won't be or you can't be, it just does not matter that much anymore. And this is friggin' liberating.

I have an amazing father and grandfathers, all of whom I am close with. I've dreamed of being a father for many years (26M) and think I'll make a great one someday based on the examples I was fortunate enough to have. But I don't like the thought that as soon as you have a child, you instantly have to be defined by that. Is reproduction really the meaning to life? (Biologists say absolutely). And saying you don't hav…

It changes you but it is very far from defining you. There is just a lot of joy from an unexpected place in your life all of a sudden. Just doing simple things like feed you kid some honey or biking around with them strapped to into a child seat of your bike suddenly becomes really enjoyable. But also when you go and do something that you love doing you want to share it, I brought my one and few month year old to Yosemite this winter and she was running around near Camp 4 while I bouldered. Just hours of wonder on her face it is pretty special.

Then again there are some mental case parents, who lose all social connections, gain 100lb and can never be seen again by their friends. Just don't be that. I have former friends like that, it is some kind of North American phenomenon. For me it feel so nuts I really don't get how people become that.

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#255

Post by [deleted] » Wed, Apr 29, 2015, 2:47 AM UTC

runesoerensen wrote: post #31

kungfooey wrote: post #6

Are we really at the point where a 30 year old can offer sage advice on living life? Wow. As a counterpoint to "be the best you can be in your profession": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIJdFxYlEKE [PyCon keynote by Jacob Kaplan-Moss on 'mediocre developers'].

I can't say I'm surprised to see this as the top comment, but I think it's sad that you (and apparently many other upvoters) don't think 30 year olds can offer valuable advice on life. It's also wrong as proven by history. Many writers have produced some of their best works at the same age. One example is Kirkegaard who wrote "Fear and Trembling"[1] at age 30. If you think that Sam's advice is narrowminded or bad as…

[deleted]

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#256

Post by CydeWeys » Wed, Apr 29, 2015, 2:54 AM UTC

kcovia wrote: post #110

spain wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

By left, I assume you mean left the job completely? As interesting as a story this is, is it really the only reason you chose to leave? Did you enjoy the work and did you try and negotiate at all? I don't mean to criticize your prioritization but the decision seems a little impulsive given how you described it. As you mentioned you gave your priorities a lot of thought, but what about the decision itself?

Do you really want to work for someone who thinks getting to the office 5 minutes earlier is more important than your child?

There are many jobs (though largely not office jobs) where you HAVE to be on time, where not being on time seriously throws a lot of scheduled things out of whack. It is not unreasonable at all in these professions to expect someone to always be on time, and get rid of them and find someone more responsible if they cannot be. One good example would be all of the elementary school teachers I've ever known; they NEED to be at work at their start time because that's when they get a roomful of children handed over to them. Being habitually tardy or unreliable in any way is completely unacceptable.

The friction here is probably from someone used to working in one of the job fields like this coming into an office environment where your hours aren't as relevant as the quality and volume of your work.

I will say though, I was a lead developer at my last job and I had some issues with an employee (with two young kids) not putting in forty hours a week, and he wasn't otherwise making up for it either. He'd be the last one in and the first one out, and it was problematic because he was supposedly the senior developer on the team but he was not meriting his higher salary. In the end I suppose you could say the real problem was with his output, not his hours, but they did seem like interrelated issues.

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#257

Post by EazyC » Wed, Apr 29, 2015, 2:59 AM UTC

pyrrhotech wrote: post #170

A lot of the points can be boiled down to "work very hard". But what if you simply are the type of person who doesn't like working? Another point is do what makes you happy. For some lucky folks, work makes them happy, but there's a lot of us who don't like it. And no, it's not just a specific job. A lot of us are just kinda lazy to be perfectly honest. The things I enjoy most are running, eating fine meals, quality…

I think the difference between you and the people that want to work hard to "make the best chat app" is that the sense of fulfillment and the concept of living a good life between you and this group comes from two different things. For you it's just being happy by being with friends and family etc while for others its accomplishing something they truly believe in whether it's some college kid trying to make the next chat app or Elon Musk trying to make humanity an interplanetary specie. That sense of fulfillment is attained from different things - and that's ok. Everyone has their things that make them feel fulfilled, and they are not always the same. You just have to be honest with yourself to know what that is.

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#258

Post by lugg » Wed, Apr 29, 2015, 3:05 AM UTC

Heh getting close to 30 I felt awkward reading this one:

> 20) Youth is a really great thing. Don’t waste it. In fact, in your 20s, I think it’s ok to take a “Give me financial discipline, but not just yet” attitude. All the money in the world will never get back time that passed you by.

Compounding interest takes time and not a lot of money, don't let that time pass you by.

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#259

Post by onewaystreet » Wed, Apr 29, 2015, 3:06 AM UTC

astrocat wrote: post #68

> On work: it’s difficult to do a great job on work you don’t care about. And it’s hard to be totally happy/fulfilled in life if you don’t like what you do for your work I get that this is aimed at the startup crowd, but I've always felt that this sentiment is pretty privileged. We, the elite, get to cherry pick our work and do what we like. But I bet 9/10 people will never feel they have this luxury, and 8/10 will b…

You're not wrong, but Sam isn't writing for those people. He's writing for the people that read HN. Not all advice has to be targeted to the least privileged.

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#260

Post by eruditely » Wed, Apr 29, 2015, 3:19 AM UTC

tormeh wrote: post #159

eruditely wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is correct, from my understanding cultivated sternness happens not by being that way by default but by being so lenient at several different moments in your past that you were strictly taken advantage of until you could accept it no longer and you had to be strict or mean. Then the first time you decide to do so all every one ever sees is "Oh this guy is really harsh, what a jerk". Such is life. I'd LOVE for poi…

I would imagine some flexible middle ground? Like a number of hours you strictly have to be in the office per week, but outside general availability time (10-14) they can choose when they come and leave as long as they fill their quota.

I meant the sterness vs niceness balance as a life thing.