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Suicide

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Re: Suicide

#251

Post by asher »

thedark wrote: post #116
Jun8 wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Whenever I find myself having similar thoughts I reread Willa Cather's story, "Paul's Case", here's the relevant part, the very end: "He stood watching the approaching locomotive, his teeth chattering, his lips drawn away from them in a frightened smile; once or twice he glanced nervously sidewise, as though he were being watched. When the right moment came, he jumped. As he fell, the folly of his haste occurred to h…

Okay, so the last few years I've had time and means to travel, and I'd like to comment somewhat on a perspective I gained while doing so. The list you gave- I've done all of those things. Well, change Machu Picchu to Pompeii and Somalia to the Congo. I realize your list was not comprehensive- but let me realize the spirit of your post and say I've done a large subset of the "things I'd like to do before I die," save…

Martin Seligman, who has been mentioned above, also has a book "Authentic Happiness" which you might find interesting. As he points out, and you have experienced, inborn predisposition is the biggest factor in happiness.

However there are other big factors which you can partially control. You've probably already discovered some of them.

I think you would like the book because Seligman recognizes the fundamental difficulty of the problem. As you may have guessed, Seligman himself is predisposed to unhappiness.

Re: Suicide

#252

Post by einhverfr »

noduerme wrote: post #223
westiseast wrote: post #181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is an incredibly insensitive comment, I'm shocked, almost disgusted. One of the most admirable qualities that humans possess is empathy - the ability to understand and identify with someone else's emotional experiences. We reach out to people in such extreme emotional pain because in some way, we experience some of that pain. I'm using the royal 'we', but it seems you lack that ability to show any empathy whatso…

Really? Suicide's not a stupid thing to do? I guess there are cases where it's not -- like if you're terminal, or facing life in prison. That's a rational choice and I can empathize with those people. I've lived with depression and with other people who've suffered from it. Four of my friends attempted suicide in high school, and one succeeded. It made me angry . How dare they be so stupid. And since the two who surv…

Everyone does stupid things sometimes.

I have lost two friends to suicide. One was an Iraq War veteran who didn't get the help she needed on returning to the states and committed suicide about a year later. The other was a man who had for a long time, I think, suffered from more than one neurological issue.

In the end, I think that people have a right to decide for themselves how they live and how they die. I don't think suicide is always a stupid thing to do. May key question is whether someone is competent to make that decision. Depression or PTSD are not good reasons IMO. However, what of someone struggling with a lifetime of schizophrenia?

And there are plenty of circumstances where I would commit suicide. For example, if I am ever faced with an alzheimer's diagnosis, I would prefer to end my life with clear thought and memory than to let them slowly fade away.

Re: Suicide

#253

Post by moheeb »

vonskippy wrote: post #154
irahul wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Someone please ban this asshole.

Nice to see HN promotes freely discussing ALL opinions with an open mind. Oh wait, I see they don't. Apparently if you express opinions that others disagree with, the close minded fops want you banned. Meh - if I get banned for disagreeing with the standard "poor baby" suicide line, so be it. I'll stick with discussions where EVERYONE is welcome to express their opinions.

I just wanted to reply and show my support. Whether I agree or not with what you said there is some definite closed-mindedness going on here.

Why downvote someone based on an opinion?

Re: Suicide

#254

Post by justaname »

rehack wrote: post #211
justaname wrote: post #202

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Actually, if I did, it wouldn't even be for this female, but simply to get relief from the emotional and mental torment that I have to endure most days. Turns out I'm a fighter, and I intend to make it, but when things go down far enough, you just never know, because things feel bad enough that it becomes a serious consideration. Right now, it's not an option. I know that I'll quit my job and flat next month, and hea…

Actually, if I did, it wouldn't even be for this female, but simply to get relief from the emotional and mental torment that I have to endure most days Looks like you are already feeling better. From the other comment, I came to know that you have managed to get over the dependency. So now hopefully, it should only get better. But even the journey to recovery has its down days. Turns out I'm a fighter, and I intend t…

>a big component of these kinds of fights is test of your patience

This is a good insight. At some point you manage to carry on despite all the bad feelings, and you're simply dragging yourself through the last bit of crap that's holding you back. I recognise that my patience is limited, so I've set myself a goal that I can attain before it runs out (getting out of here and back to a sunny country).

It's frustrating to know that many people said, while I was going through the worst of it, that going back to Australia, back home, would be running away from my problems. One thing I learnt during it all was that everyone gives different advice. You're so vulerable, and no matter what people say, you often follow it. It took me at least one year, if not two, to not take advice too seriously, except that which I gave myself. It's nice to get some control back, even though the things I can't control (my thoughts and feelings) still make life difficult. It's been good to just vent a little even if it's to strangers and in public, though mostly anonymous.

What I find difficult is that I don't really know many people that are willing to simply listen.

Mostly people brush off how you are feeling with "everything heals with time", but all you need is "yes, you're feeling absolutely rotten right now. I understand." It's the people that really can relate that stop ignoring you're current situation, as if it didn't matter because something better will be there eventually.

So much more to vent, but I'll save it for someone else :)

Home stretch. Just 2.5 more weeks, and I can quit my job and then the rest is just logistics.

Re: Suicide

#255

Post by dkersten »

stinkytaco wrote: post #238
sophacles wrote: post #162

So heres my experience with this whole topic: When I was very young, I remember feeling trapped in life. It wasn't a particularly terrible life, but not a particularly great one either. There were times when I just didn't want it. As I got older, I spent a lot of time mildly depressed. There were expectations I couldn't live up to, it seemed my family wanted me to be perfect, and the repercussions for not being so we…

Well, this post is still on the front page... I waver a lot on the "Suicide is a selfish act" business. On one hand you're right, it's your life an no one can obligate you to live it. It's very empowering to know that you've got the option to end it. On the other, someone out there needs you more than you think. And I still don't believe a person who wants to end their life is totally rational, at least not for the m…

Suicide is a selfish act

Is it any less selfish of others to force you to stay around and endure terrible pain (physical or emotional) because they need you? I certainly agree that you can and should get help, but I also think that there are cases when the "suicide is selfish" people are the selfish ones. Though, I'm sure that they're not as common as the cases where the person should have sought help instead, I don't think its helpful to somebody contemplating suicide to say that they are being selfish or doing something stupid. If it were me, it would probably make me feel worse.

Re: Suicide

#256

Post by justaname »

thedark wrote: post #116
Jun8 wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Whenever I find myself having similar thoughts I reread Willa Cather's story, "Paul's Case", here's the relevant part, the very end: "He stood watching the approaching locomotive, his teeth chattering, his lips drawn away from them in a frightened smile; once or twice he glanced nervously sidewise, as though he were being watched. When the right moment came, he jumped. As he fell, the folly of his haste occurred to h…

Okay, so the last few years I've had time and means to travel, and I'd like to comment somewhat on a perspective I gained while doing so. The list you gave- I've done all of those things. Well, change Machu Picchu to Pompeii and Somalia to the Congo. I realize your list was not comprehensive- but let me realize the spirit of your post and say I've done a large subset of the "things I'd like to do before I die," save…

It's hard to respond to this. It's extremely honest, and leaves only room for the choices you make for yourself.

> I've done a large subset of the "things I'd like to do before I die"

At least you have a concept of the things you like, somehow.

Re: Suicide

#257

Post by mio11 »

I found hope and sense of life when I began to understand who Jesus is. When I am in depression I pray to him and this helps me. Wondered why noone was talking about that. This is what Christmas is all about, Christ brining us hope.

Re: Suicide

#258

Post by justaname »

paraschopra wrote: post #186

Suicide is an interesting phenomenon with multiple causes, some short-sighted (rejection from lover), some circumstantial (not being able to pay debt) and some misguided (not getting admission in a good college). But what sounds to me the most _genuine_ reason for suicide is someone who has contemplated meaning of life for long and hasn't been able to find any inherent reason why he should exist. That person may have…

sounds like a plan

Re: Suicide

#260

Post by noduerme »

hackinthebochs wrote: post #243
noduerme wrote: post #223

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Really? Suicide's not a stupid thing to do? I guess there are cases where it's not -- like if you're terminal, or facing life in prison. That's a rational choice and I can empathize with those people. I've lived with depression and with other people who've suffered from it. Four of my friends attempted suicide in high school, and one succeeded. It made me angry . How dare they be so stupid. And since the two who surv…

>It made me angry. How dare they be so stupid And what right is it of yours to be angry? What right is it of yours to judge their decision? Those who react this way are the most disgustingly selfish people.

It's my right as a person with an opinion. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that it was a valuable choice or a reasonable decision for them to make. I don't lie to my friends, and I don't paper things over.

Quite a judgmental statement, to tell someone who's been through it four times what his reaction should be. Maybe it's something I've thought through and been through a few times, and decided that blunt force rather than kid-gloves is the only way to get through to people who want to take their own life.

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