251–260 of 380 posts
[trigger warning] I'm a woman. I was physically and sexually abused by my father as a child. The impact it's had on me is painful to describe. I was working as a software engineer in the tech industry and was constantly experiencing PTSD symptoms being surrounded by men -- though by no fault of their own, it was totally because of what my father did to me. It's been a frustrating journey. The sexual abuse happened to…
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"In a few cases (N I think you are misinterpreting. First, they say: "...information was obtained about any possible unwanted sexual experiences of the comparison females or other family members " So interpreting it as 5 of 84 women is incorrect. It's min 5 people of 84 families . Given a mean family size of perhaps 3.5 (if by "family" they mean "nuclear family", though I bet they include anyone you know about really…
> I haven't read it in detail and won't because my spidey senses say it's not worth it based on what I've seen skimming. Wow thanks for this extremely well researched and authoritative opinion
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That whole comment was chilling AF
Chilling but also a little reassuring. If you are a victim, knowing that a large percentage of the population has also been abused can help recovery. It says that it is very possible to be a victim and go on to a normal life. Want something very chilling? First year criminal law lecture on rape. Professor says "We have about a hundred people in this room. None of you future lawyers have criminal records. Statisticall…
Go to a sufficiently large rock concert and the lead singer would be able to say “statistically at least one of you are a murderer!” Which might be “statistically correct” but all that would accomplish is for everyone to question his or her sanity.
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Yep. Gift that keeps on giving. Was gotten to myself as a kid and 50+ years on it’s still hard to read this kind of thing
My freshman biology teacher was extradited to Australia and jailed for this, although I did not suffer any abuse. The church knew of his behavior and moved him around rather than dealing with the problem, and this definitely clouds my view of the Catholic church. Given the topic, their entire organization is a patriarchy. It's hard for me to read because it is difficult to picture these girls being abused, knowing th…
yeah exactly
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Chilling but also a little reassuring. If you are a victim, knowing that a large percentage of the population has also been abused can help recovery. It says that it is very possible to be a victim and go on to a normal life. Want something very chilling? First year criminal law lecture on rape. Professor says "We have about a hundred people in this room. None of you future lawyers have criminal records. Statisticall…
> Chilling but also a little reassuring. If you are a victim, knowing that a large percentage of the population has also been abused can help recovery. "Misery loves company" is indeed a common attitude, but I'm not sure it's especially healthy.
It helps to know that you are not the only one who has suffered injustice.
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That whole comment was chilling AF
Chilling but also a little reassuring. If you are a victim, knowing that a large percentage of the population has also been abused can help recovery. It says that it is very possible to be a victim and go on to a normal life. Want something very chilling? First year criminal law lecture on rape. Professor says "We have about a hundred people in this room. None of you future lawyers have criminal records. Statisticall…
Can testify it does a number on male development too
same. My abuse was very early, which it tends to be for men. My abusers weren't removed from my life until I was six, and even then were brought back over and over again. I am 40. I became a successful software developer. Then I finally couldn't ignore what happened to me. It was a brutal 3 years of therapy and trying to find my way out of the emotional pain I felt. I am just now getting my career on track, but I am…
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"Over time, the absolute authority of the pater familias weakened, and rights that theoretically existed were no longer enforced or insisted upon. The power over life and death was abolished, the right of punishment was moderated and the sale of children was restricted to cases of extreme necessity. Under Emperor Hadrian, a father who killed his son was stripped of both his citizenship and all its attendant rights, h…
Yeah, it obviously changed over time, and is no longer in effect today. Hadrian was quite late in Roman history, far closer to its collapse than its founding.
Sorry, this isn't really an important point, but I found it quite implausible so I checked. Hadrian ruled until 165 years after the founding of Rome. It continued for another 257 years.
Roman empire: 27 BC – AD 395 (as a unified entity)
Hadrian: was Roman emperor from 117 to 138
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Mike Pence rule. Don't ever be alone with a vulnerable person without a neutral third party being present, it wreaks havoc on the threat-detection instinct. As the saying goes, "you're not paranoid if someone really is out to get you."
This can disadvantage those people in other ways though. Just trying to get work done, it helps to be able to drop into someone's office without arranging for a chaperone. Or stopping by somewhere without checking the number and gender of people who will be there ahead of time.
In practice that's likely quite difficult.
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Thank you very much for sharing this. Me too. Like yours, mine occurred early. Like you, I was exposed to my abuser many times afterward. As a boy, I carried my shame in silence, and learned early to dislike and avoid extended family gatherings, masking my avoidance in a blanket of "family sucks/is boring" cynicism. As an early teen entering puberty, I grew increasingly disturbed about had happened. I tried to force…
> I now have children who I love with all my heart. I cannot fathom inflicting such suffering upon them - or anyone else, for that matter. I will never be able to entrust them to the care of close family or friends. It's a constant internal struggle when they ask about sleepovers with friends. Such trivial things as "going over to someone's house" trigger immense uncertainty and fear, which I do my best to not burden…