Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#251

Post by _nalply » Wed, Mar 08, 2017, 1:47 PM UTC

bshimmin wrote: post #177

caseysoftware wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…

I even took my older son, 4 years old, to a two hour meeting because my baby sitter called in sick. I just packed toys for him and told him that I needed to work and he accepted that. It worked out fine for one hour and 45 minutes.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#252

Post by lt » Wed, Mar 08, 2017, 1:49 PM UTC

tehwalrus wrote: post #117

verinus wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Best reply as I am concerned. I have a "ToLearn" list that keeps getting longer and longer as I struggle to have some quality time where I can learn and really comprehend stuff AFTER putting my 4 year old daughter to sleep- i too have to stay with her till she is asleep- often with me also going to nap... When I am getting stressed and mad about all those constraints I picture the sweet moments with the knowledge, th…

I have both this "to learn" list and an ever expanding bookshelf (which grows faster than I can read the damn things, mostly thanks to recommendations in HN comments). Being 5 months into the parenting adventure, I seem to get a few hours a month on each side project at the moment! It really does make you prioritise. (And work harder on things I can do on my rail commute than other tasks). I haven't got to the "wants…

I've come to terms with the fact that my ever expanding bookshelf (and steam library) are now my kid's (eventually)

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#253

Post by cholantesh » Wed, Mar 08, 2017, 1:49 PM UTC

manojlds wrote: post #151

jomkr wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed. I'm only 25 with no kids and single. I still don't program in my off time. I do things I vastly prefer like rock-climb, work-out or just get very, very drunk. I'm not a rock-star programmer but I can definitely hold my own in the office. And guess who the managers prefer to take to meet clients, me or the guys that spend 120 hours plus infront of a screen.

> And guess who the managers prefer to take to meet clients, me or the guys that spend 120 hours plus infront of a screen. It's been very difficult for me to guess the answer to this.

Additionally, I can't say either scenario sounds enjoyable to me.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#254

Post by gregorymichael » Wed, Mar 08, 2017, 1:51 PM UTC

bshimmin wrote: post #177

caseysoftware wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. PG wrote a post a while back about how kids really only have the magic of Christmas a handful of times (ages 3-11?) and then it's gone. When you're making choices, realize there will always be another framework, another conference, another chance to try out that new tool but your kid is constantly changing, learning, and is fundamentally different today, tomorrow, and a week from now, especially when they're yo…

OK, I'm completely baffled by this. Am I the only one who thinks taking your young children on a conference call is somewhere between totally unprofessional and, well, very annoying? I get that your children are your priority - but surely they shouldn't be the priority of everyone else on that call? Is the work at hand not the priority? My 3 year old makes a lot of noise and is quite prone to tantrums. Some of my cli…

"Professional" is subjective depending on your workplace. Jeans and a t-shirt is "unprofessional" if your profession is banking. Fortunately, developers these days have the luxury of choosing a workplace where the standards of professionalism suit them.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#255

Post by cholantesh » Wed, Mar 08, 2017, 1:53 PM UTC

ern wrote: post #124

rev_bird wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I appreciate the sentiment here, but for a lot of people I suspect it wouldn't actually be ok to stop learning outside of work. I know there's a lot of pushback on this idea for very good reasons, but if you have a job and want a different one, sometimes evenings and weekends are the times you need to teach yourself the skills you need. I also want to push back a little bit on the idea that "programming couldn't brin…

I agree with you about the need to remain buzzword compliant for jobs, but are we "skilling up" or spinning our wheels? There is some worthwhile learning, but a lot of it is just BS status signaling. Learning another SPA framework that solves the problems of the last framework, while introducing new problems? Learning yet another way to bundle your web content? A new transpiled language to patch the holes in JavaScri…

>Learning another SPA framework that solves the problems of the last framework, while introducing new problems? Learning yet another way to bundle your web content? A new transpiled language to patch the holes in JavaScript?

I understand that HN is (probably?) pretty web-centric, but this portion of your comment makes me wonder if it's just the web that's fucked. I'm not hearing a ton of complaints re: burnout or being left behind from the server-side, database, BI, or embedded spaces. Or maybe I'm not listening.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#256

Post by mholmes680 » Wed, Mar 08, 2017, 1:54 PM UTC

J-dawg wrote: post #226

jstewartmobile wrote: post #96

One of the many great things about children, if you're not a total heartless bastard of course, is that having them really sharpens your mind as to what's important and what's not. Most of these things the HN crowd obsesses over are shit, and the things that replace those things will also be shit, and the thing you make with those things--even if it makes you fabulously wealthy--will also be shit, and if you don't be…

I really like the spirit of this comment, but I can only imagine feeling like that if I was either very confident in my skills or had some serious FU money in the bank. I work for a big international company that is gradually sinking, and continually laying people off and replacing them with offshore staff. I'm sure I'm not alone among HN readers. I have no idea how much longer I'll have a job for, or whether there w…

Ok i'll bite...

Setting some context: I have two kids, 2 and 1. And a mortgage thats too big and a job situation much like yours (do we work for the same company?? :))

Use this time right now to figure out what YOU want. That includes a general life path which prioritizes work or family - or for the rare person, both. And also what you want immediately-take risks now if that so interests you. Figure out what works and what doesn't in office politics. Expand your network. Expand it with quality connections. Then expand it some more, as if you were a politician. Learn.

The ability for you to remain at one job more than 3 years will be rare, and thats ok. Assume you won't have serious FU money, and so you need some backup plans for things you can't control.

If you do none of the above, at least don't just sit around waiting to get laid off. Its not good for the company, you, or your future.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#257

Post by tehwalrus » Wed, Mar 08, 2017, 1:54 PM UTC

teddyc wrote: post #236

shakna wrote: post #149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My daughter just turned five months. Her favorite game at the moment is to press all the buttons on my keyboard. Whether or not a computer is remotely nearby. I might not have much time to bang away on code, but seeing her proud of grabbing and biting a book, is much more exciting.

Yeah, I did that, and then some of the buttons stopped working on the keyboard from too much smashing from the children. In the end, I removed the cable from the keyboard and it became a toy. I never let the kids play with the replacement one, but they do love having their own real keyboard.

Hmm, thank you for the warning. Was it a mechanical one? I fear for my WASD! I have plenty of spare plastic dome keyboards in a box. Now I have a real excuse not to throw them out!

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#258

Post by sitkack » Wed, Mar 08, 2017, 1:55 PM UTC

Boarding School. All these people claiming that every moment with the child is precious are full of it. They are just raising spoiled brats. Instead of an etch-a-sketch, teach them Latex or Fig. See-and-Say, no, `say` command. If you can get them on an ssh-tmux connection you can parent from anywhere when you eventually split from your wife.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#259

Post by daxfohl » Wed, Mar 08, 2017, 1:57 PM UTC

knorker wrote: post #164

jstewartmobile wrote: post #96

One of the many great things about children, if you're not a total heartless bastard of course, is that having them really sharpens your mind as to what's important and what's not. Most of these things the HN crowd obsesses over are shit, and the things that replace those things will also be shit, and the thing you make with those things--even if it makes you fabulously wealthy--will also be shit, and if you don't be…

So what you're saying is "you don't. People with children will not be as good". Great. That means I should not feel bad about any hypothetical statistics that show parents paid less than non-parents. You're saying parents are, on average, statistically, not as useful as non-parents to a company.

Sure. From a certain perspective that's correct. If you're a non-parent and work/study productively 16 hours per day 7 days a week without time off and can maintain that, then, from some perspective, you're better.

Thing is, in most cases, your value as a software engineer is very marginally related to your ability to keep up with the latest and greatest of everything. In fact an obsession with bleeding-edge technology can be a sign of indifference toward what you're actually being paid to do.

Re: Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

#260

Post by plehoux » Wed, Mar 08, 2017, 2:00 PM UTC

For me, one word, sleep. I sleep a lot. It doesn't fit the narrative, parents are supposed to be exhausted, right? When I'm tired I go to bed, whatever the time. Kids do sleep a lot, just not when YOU want.

It's not about quantity, it's about quality. When I'm not tired, my code is better, my business decisions are better, my relationships are better, so yes, I sleep a lot.

#3 is on his way, exciting, fulfilling time!