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I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

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Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#241

Post by ak39 »

qisine wrote: post #85
tptacek wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ok. I believe you. You are also not approaching any sort of "last chance" for a tech career.

OK, as another posted put it well, that line was "too melodramatic". Apologies. I do admit that I'm a bit desperate.

I agree with tptacek (and others recommending CBT and ACT), examine the language you are using. The words you use may not spell "depression" but they are certainly in the vicinity that may lead you to it (I'm talking clinical depression). And this is all normal, but fixable. If you are not cognisant of the triggers that lead you to conclude on "yourself" as opposed to conclude on "stuff you did" (your works) you will continue to spiral into loser-mode and open the door marked "Depression". It'll only be a matter of time if you don't tackle this. And then, probably at 40, others will call it "mid-life" existential crisis. :-)

You are not your WORK (fuck pointers in C++)! Chances are that you're awesome at things you are refusing to acknowledge! Come here I'll give you a hug! (Then slap you!* ... because you're wasting time worrying about judging yourself instead of CREATING things and moving along!)

* Ok, I just slapped myself because I'm wasting time on HN! ;-P

Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#242

Post by t0mislav »

I'm in mid-late 20s with 9-to-5 job and in my case this is definitely not way to long and happy life. There is a lot of stress, bosses do wrong decisions all the time, small salary. So yeah, my own personal business is just matter of time. I'm working on it in my free time.

Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#243

Post by liuwenjie »

qisine wrote: post #81
neltnerb wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good luck =) The longest journey begins with a single step.

You just quoted my favorite Chinese saying. For the record, 千里之行，始于足下

May be need add one，think through before action, once begin, never give up , 三思后行，百折不回

Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#245

Post by gesman »

edw519 wrote: post #54

I have been a dreamer all my life. It took me until last year to figure this out, and only thanks to this community. Great. Dreaming is necessary but not sufficient for great accomplishments. Glad you're one of us. I hardly ever tried - and when I tried, I didn't persist. It has been my goal to start a business since ever I can remember. And yet I never really tried (until last year, which resulted in abysmal failure…

>> The reason you're stuck is because you're too >> focused on yourself. >> Remember, it's not about you. It's about others.

This single line is worth the price of attendance.

When i asked famous spiritual teacher a while ago about "me being depressed and how to solve it" - that exactly the answer I was given: "Depression is focusing on too much me, and very little on others." Hence the solution would be to find and help others - and inevitably help comes back to you.

Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#246

Post by ebiggs »

omfgitsbacon wrote: post #107

I want to give you hope but to be blunt, if your 30 an not an established coder your not going to be. I started coding when I was 11 (dumb stuff of course, but actual coding), went to university and got a CS degree, now I'm in my late 30s and I have been coding for a good ~25 years, ~12 professionally (as in day job). You have to compete with people like me, people who enjoy coding, people who go to work then come ho…

Not only is this irrelevant to a hacker-entrepreneur it's also somewhat irrelevant to a simple programming career. The sheer dearth of good programming talent makes it a fairly easy field to break into if you're highly motivated. You will undoubtedly be a lot better after 10-20 years of experience than you will just starting, but I've seen countless examples of kids who are more capable and better resources than some more dispassionate experienced programmers. It's such a fast moving field, and so diverse - that the opportunities for green talent are massive... far better than most other technical fields.

Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#247

Post by lilsunnybee »

nonobu wrote: post #147
lilsunnybee wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you aren't i'd be really surprised. At the very least your thought patterns are self-sabotaging and depression-inducing. There might be something else going on here too, that it would be good to check with a doctor about (bipolar?) Your life isn't going to get back on track until you start thinking better about yourself. The reason you're so self-absorbed right now is because you're constantly beating yourself up;…

As someone in a very similar situation to OP, and someone who is about to move to another country precisely for the reasons you cite, I can't agree with you more. Just deciding to move has made me a lot more motivated. Granted, I don't realy know what I'm going to find, but at least I'm fighting this thing head-on.

Good luck. I hope it will be a really positive thing for you. :-)

Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#248

Post by zerooneinfinity »

HN, here I am. My name is Stefan Kueng, I'm 30 years old, based in Switzerland. For better or for worse. This is my last chance to get my life back on track. If anyone else reads this, wish me good luck. You'll have plenty of chances my young friend :), but get to work!

Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#249

Post by junecpy »

Overwhelming responses!

Giving you my best wishes. Also to share with you that I've been thru very difficult life for 7 years, between 19-26. [1] I've spent 1.5 years to find my current tech co-founder. [2]

Just don't give up. No matter what. No one will be a loser if he/she persists to actualize the dream.

[1] Quora: What mindset should one possess to be more comfortable when things are miserable? http://goo.gl/dIcji [2] How I found my tech co-founder. http://goo.gl/oBKKz

Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#250

Post by rb12345 »

readme wrote: post #228
clockwerx wrote: post #121

Is the TortoiseSVN development team trolling?

Yeah -- I am wondering if possible troll? I think it's unlikely that there'd be more than one Stefan Keung in Switzerland coming to hacker news. So if OP is who he says he is, then he's seriously delusional right now. TortoiseSVN is a huge accomplishment and there's no way someone who's contributed so much should feel this way.

> I think it's unlikely that there'd be more than one Stefan Keung in Switzerland coming to hacker news.

It's possible that it's a namesake, I suppose ... but I agree with you if it is the same Stefan. Trolling might be a bit of a stretch, but if creating TortoiseSVN counts as "loser" territory, there's a lot of HN users that are far worse!

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