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My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

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241–250 of 344 posts

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#241
post #158

What sucks about stories like this is, while my heart breaks for what this guy went through, managers don't have the same luxury of defending their side of the story to Mother Jones. I worked as an EM at Amazon. I went into this ready to think he had a bad boss (because those definitely exist at Amazon), but after reading this I feel like there's another side to this that has more compassion than is being reflected h…

> He was at turns informally warned, encouraged to take leave, and offered severance. Both these options would leave him without ongoing income and would do nothing to help him as a person[1]. They'd neatly solve the employer's problems though, and it's apparent who you more closely identify with in this story. 1. As someone else mentioned, short- and/or long-term disability was the mutually beneficial solution, but…

People seem to think that once they are hired that their employer owes them something more than the agreed upon compensation for the work they agreed to do for them.

If your work capabilities continually suffer, short of legally protected events, at some point your company will make moves to end the employment if you are no longer able to provide value for your compensation. Doesn’t matter if Amazon or a mom and pop shop. At some point there is an end to patience in every organization. In a company with 1.3M employees…it will be unlikely that his situation was all that unique among the employees. With that many employees there could easily be a thousand or more employees dealing with a similar family illness issue, and with similar inabilities to take unpaid LOAs. So a consistency of the policies governing this type of thing will always trump special single considerations in a corporation.

As long as Amazon consistently applied it’s policies it’s simply not at fault, and I would argue handled this situation as morally as a corporation could. Amazon is not at fault for the illness, nor at fault for the employee’s inability to take an unpaid leave. If they provided the opportunity for the employee to take an unpaid LOA and preserve his $300k job…that is a helluva benefit to that employee in my mind.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#242

A tip: If anyone finds themselves in a tragic situation like this where they can’t work but also can’t afford to take leave, investigate your short and long-term disability benefits ASAP. Also read up on the documentation necessary to begin disability claims. Engage with a doctor early on who can document the severe depressive symptoms that are preventing work (which the author specifically cites in his anecdote). Do…

Yes, and know your legal employment rights in the state where you work. For God's sake, do not rely on your managers or companies compassion or to make 'rational' decisions. Worst thing is to stay on and continually underperform. The lawyer simply 'sending a letter' is no good. They should be there to advise on - is the company acting legally here. Assuming they are, disability for these mental issues seems very appropriate in this situation. Heartbreaking story.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#243

A tip: If anyone finds themselves in a tragic situation like this where they can’t work but also can’t afford to take leave, investigate your short and long-term disability benefits ASAP. Also read up on the documentation necessary to begin disability claims. Engage with a doctor early on who can document the severe depressive symptoms that are preventing work (which the author specifically cites in his anecdote). Do…

That's very good advice, but another data point, I had a medical issue, and I had a very hard time qualifying for short term disability. My illness made me sick about 50% of the time, intermittently. The disability company told me that they'd cover me if I was sick for 15 days straight but not, say, 15 days out of a 30 day period.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#244
> can’t do this anymore. I was at my wits’ end. I felt like I was going to lose it at any point. Not that I was going to kill myself, but that I was going to be put in a rubber room.

Sometimes I think one of the downsides of remote work is that you can push people until you literally drive them insane while being too far away for them to murder your ass.

Not to say he should have killed his boss, but most of us have a social awareness that kicks in and says "maybe I shouldn't be a massive douche canoe to this desperate person while in striking distance".

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#245
post #115

Wait a minute. It's for this cases that universal healthcare paid by taxes exists. I wouldn't blame it on your boss or Amazon. It's the USA. A person should not depend on money or productivity to be cured. And a company should not be liable to spend $300000 an year on a non productive employee. Which btw is about 9 years junior developer gross salary equivalent in Italy.

The current USA healthcare hellscape came as a result of an attempt to implement universal healthcare that was derailed via regulatory capture. It's hard to see how you could implement universal healthcare successfully in country like the US which has third-world standards for corruption and democracy, and low average human capital.

People never forgive you for telling the truth. Those are some salty "I wish they were wrong" downvotes.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#246
post #223

Ha, of course it's Mother Jones. I don't even know what to say. 1. You had stable employment, with an employer that you knew would be understanding. By your own admission, you knew the Amazon horror stories. But your greed won anyway. 2. "I remember talking to my wife about it and saying, I can’t believe these are my options." What kind of a dirtbag unloads the side effects (all of which he's responsible for) of his…

> What kind of a dirtbag unloads the side effects (all of which he's responsible for) of his dying wife's situation directly onto her?

Go to hell. What kind of dirtbag stops confiding in their spouse during a crisis?

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#247

I don‘t understand how someone smart enough to make 300.000 a year (That is an insane fortune to almost everyone, even in first world countries) feels entitled to a month-, year-long reduction of performance expectations because of personal tragedy. There are thousands waiting for his position and they would kill to get it.

This makes a lot of sense if you're the kind of person who lives under a bridge and terrorizes goats.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#248

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So you would want Amazon to pass him over because his wife has an existing medical condition? That would be a good article too.

Would it? "Your circumstances have us believe you're not the best fit for the company" is a scandal? Should Amazon be required to hire anyone who walks in the door?

Of course refusing to hire someone because their SO has cancer would lead to a scandal, LMAO. I assume you're joking

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#249
post #76

I wish we had a #MeToo for horrible corporate environments. Amazon is an atrocious place to work at, and even though I'm no fan of cancel culture, if any case begs for naming and shaming, it's got to be this one. There are people that make these decisions. Amazon isn't some "monolith" where no one has free will. That argument didn't work for WW2 Nazi guards, so why should it work here? "Just following orders" isn't g…

I have to say I agree. There's only so much catharsis to be had from writing a nasty-yet-deniable review on Glassdoor and like. I was fired for over-competence at a real crab bucket and it still messes with me.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#250
post #202

Reading the comments on this topic, I can't but feel validated for having quit my programming career right as it started. You lot sound so absorbed into your privilege that you can't even begin to think about the human side of the story, and it really shows that your "oh I can't begin to imageine how hard this is but..." is performative. It shows that you never really had to deal with this sort of stuff, be the perso…

> Your corporate shilling here is pure unadulterated boot licking, and I throw up in my mouth reading it. But I like reading it. It validates my decision from many years ago.

I want this on a plaque.

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