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I'm a shut-in. This is my story

fighttheurgetofade.com

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Re: I'm a shut-in. This is my story

#231

Post by unconed »

RyanZAG wrote: post #99
unconed wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I identify with huge portions of this post. And if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that I don't think like most other people. I don't mean "my ideas are better" or "I have superior reasoning skills". I mean "the tools that I use to reason about the world are not the same that most people appear to use". It's the only logical explanation for the fact that several popular ways in which humans commun…

You're trying to paint the picture that everyone else thinks the same way, but you're completely unique and think your own way. Would it not be more likely that everyone thinks in their own way, based off of their own experiences? We all have the same hardware - amazingly complex/simple neural links. We all have different inputs, which means we all think differently. This isn't the important part - the important part…

I do live my own life, quite happily, and don't wallow in self-pity. I merely shared an insight that has helped me make more sense of my life after 30 years of living it. I never said I was unique, merely that I deviated from the norm. "I am a lot taller than most people" does not mean "I am a unique giant, woe is me, doomed to tower over the rest of humanity". It does mean that those people get to complain a bit more about cramped airplane seats.

My advice would be to leave the single-comment psychoanalysis at home, and the platitudes like "live your own life" to the trashy advice columns... Instead, go watch the documentary on Temple Grandin, an autist who is definitely further from the average than I am, and whose awareness of her own nature—as well as her ability to explain it to others—definitely improved her own life.

Re: I'm a shut-in. This is my story

#232

Post by path411 »

sliverstorm wrote: post #108
crntaylor wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't have a voice in my head. When I learnt from reddit discussions that most people experience their inner thoughts as an inner monologue, I was flabbergasted. If I heard a voice, I would think I was going insane. I think that's pretty normal. A quick poll of the other three people in the room reveals that none of us experience an 'inner voice'. It's more like a stream of associations, some of which might involve…

I'm pretty sure the "inner voice" is just a metaphor to describe a concept. I, too, do not hear a voice echoing in my head as if God was speaking inside my skull. I have a train of thought that I could directly translate to spoken words, but is not actually in words. It is more abstract; I shuffle around ideas. Sometimes I will speak aloud to myself when I'm trying to disassociate to find a new viewpoint, but that's…

By writing do you mean typing? While I don't have the same kind of need to work out my thoughts, typing is a relief over writing as I can type significantly faster than I can write or even speak. Allowing me to express myself much closer to the speed of my thoughts provides much better productivity.

Re: I'm a shut-in. This is my story

#233

Post by shoxty »

In all seriousness, how can you support this? Is it assumed that he lives with somebody who pays for his living expenses? If I didn't have so many bills to pay I feel like I would be more of a shut-in.

Re: I'm a shut-in. This is my story

#234

Post by mnicole »

undupe wrote: post #172
mnicole wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't feel too bad about not being eligible for Grouper. An [introverted, self-proclaimed lonely] friend of mine did one a few weeks ago and said he had nothing in common with any of the women except for one that also worked in tech. She ended up being the one everyone was pining after and because lonely/introverted people aren't the ones that are going to strike up conversations (especially if it means competing aga…

Their official mission statement: > Our mission is to end loneliness. This is oft reported elsewhere in describing Grouper: https://www.google.com/search?q=grouper+mission+end+loneline... It made me think it was just a site for meeting people, not necessarily dating. But it is exactly that: a group dating site. I was confused by its non-datey name, and their "sex in the bathroom" article which seemed incongruous with…

Yeah that's off; if I'm lonely it has something to do with my mental state/feelings about my self-worth. Their Instagram shots on the homepage of people having nights out on the town/doing extroverted activities don't do anything but dissuade me from thinking that that's something I want to partake in.

It sounds like they're trying to look like the good guys by offering such a service, while actually marketing and selling to those that would use it regardless. In that sense, GrubHub sounds like a better bet. Less expectant of me to be outgoing and social for the sake of finding someone to shack up with vs. just there for the company and if something comes of it - hooray.

Re: I'm a shut-in. This is my story

#235

Post by enimodas »

Here's the thoughts i had while reading the article, or after.

A static idea of self, vs fake self. This is all wrong. Your mind / "you" isn't unchanging and properly definable, you can work your mind to do anything. You in 5 years could be the 'fake you' that you can be now. What's "fake" anway, it's still you who's acting, thinking and feeling. I wish i could explain this better, since it comes up all the time.

I think you could benefit from reading some philosophy, a bunch of history, and lots of other people's experiences, and maybe even some pua stuff could be insightful. There's "how to live" "things i learned from xy" posts on HN every week, i don't understand how come everyone isn't a zen master yet?

All your experiences are from while you were growing up. I consider people adults about halfway their 20's, thats when their brain is "complete". It also means your experiences of the social world are almost worthless, since everything changes as you and the people you interact with grow up. You're still young.

Why are you so certain of everything? You said you were interested in science, didn't science teach you to be sceptical? It seems you leave no room for uncertainty, or accepting that some things can't be known, in your thoughts about yourself, about others, about everything.

i tried visiting wrongplanet some years ago, but it seemed full of whiny oversensitive circlejerky hivemind full of people who only want to read what makes them feel nice and as such get stuck.

You wrote "too" 2 times where you meant "to"

Re: I'm a shut-in. This is my story

#236

Post by natural219 »

marssaxman wrote: post #197
drewrv wrote: post #192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I listen to podcasts so I can do other things while absorbing information or entertainment, such as driving, doing the dishes, or grocery shopping. In other words, it is efficient!

Ha. Is that what they're for? I rarely listen to podcasts or video recordings of lectures precisely because I can't do anything else while I'm listening - not if I want to actually hear what's being said. Alas, I can read much faster than anyone can speak, so listening to someone talk feels like an exercise in tedium compared to just reading a transcript. The RSA Animate talks work, though - the video adds enough to…

I view it in terms of System 1 / System 2 learning. Podcasts are great for system 2-style learning, where you absorb vocabulary and ideas into your subconscious. Then, when you're ready to sit down and actually learn the stuff, you have a nice scaffold of familiar words and phrases with which you can put together in the correct order.

Re: I'm a shut-in. This is my story

#237

Post by natural219 »

pdonis wrote: post #20
deleted_account wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it's more sad to expect others to divine the solution to your problems when they have no point of reference; I think it's sad when expressions of love and concern are rebuffed with a dismissive, "But you don't understand ." Of course poor Aunt Sharon doesn't understand. And no, the onus isn't on you to make her understand. Unless you want her to...in which case, it may take some effort on your part to frame y…

I think it's more sad to expect others to divine the solution to your problems when they have no point of reference I didn't get any sense that the author was expecting others to divine the solution to his problems; I think he was just irritated because they were besieging him with "concern" without actually helping any. I think it's sad when expressions of love and concern are rebuffed with a dismissive, "But you do…

Thank you for saying this. Reading the comments on this thread is making me very angry, because K-2052's piece speaks directly to my soul and captures so much of the frustration that I've had in life that by the end, I was cheering the guy on.

Coming back here and having everybody trivialize his experience like this...I don't know. Some problems are more fundamental than you've had to deal with in your life. Unfortunately, you (the people giving advice) will simply never understand -- you're an entire world apart from what it's like to view the world from K-2052 glasses.

I don't even know the guy. I just know what it's like to be truly isolated from the rest of the world.

Re: I'm a shut-in. This is my story

#238

Post by com2kid »

nitrogen wrote: post #208
com2kid wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Example: when I see a math expression x times y, I mentally see a rectangle with side length labeled "x" and perpendicular labeled "y". So understanding (x+h) (x+h) = x^2 + 2xh + h^2 was totally natural for me. It's not abstract symbols to me, it's pictures in my head. I see a tiny square in the upper right labeled "h^2", and a big square in the lower left labeled "x^2", and two rectangles along the edges labeled "xh…

Does "FOIL" (first outer inner last) or the distributive property make more sense for your understanding of the expansion of (x+h) * (x+h) in algebraic terms? One thing I love about math is how there are different ways of representing the same concepts -- geometric, algebraic, etc. I wonder if this is because different mathematicians in history had different thinking styles, and paved the way for us modern folk to le…

Neither make sense. Memorizing it as a rule made sense.

Eventually learning about different algebraic systems made it all click for me.

A lot of math is intuitive for me, the distributive property never has been though. I just had to memorize it and move on to things that contained meaning for me.

Re: I'm a shut-in. This is my story

#239

Post by realitygrill »

sliverstorm wrote: post #107
unconed wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I identify with huge portions of this post. And if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that I don't think like most other people. I don't mean "my ideas are better" or "I have superior reasoning skills". I mean "the tools that I use to reason about the world are not the same that most people appear to use". It's the only logical explanation for the fact that several popular ways in which humans commun…

I think it is important to distinguish here; you do not necessarily think differently from other people. You LEARN differently, which is VERY COMMON. Supporting anecdotal evidence: I usually learn best with written words and supporting visualizations. My mother and youngest brother on the other hand are highly visual, and have an awful time with written words. They need imagery. This is all contrasted to the auditory…

It's interesting, but psychologists have found no evidence of learning styles.

title: "Learning Styles: Concepts and Evidence" abstract: http://psi.sagepub.com/content/9/3/105.abstract fulltext: http://www.psychologicalscience.org/journals/pspi/PSPI_9_3.p...

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