Suicide • Hacker News Board

Re: Suicide

#231

Post by einhverfr » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 2:51 PM UTC

vonskippy wrote: post #134

Suicide gets a bad rap. With 7 billion plus people on a planet that can't support half that number why are we encouraging these sad sacks to stay alive? Unique? Really, out of 7 billion plus people is anyone really all that special? If you're not enjoying the ride - get off now - and let people who are have a bit more space (and resources). Suicide might be the only memorable thing you do in your sorry existence, so…

Certainly while undying fame is hard to win, I believe it can be done, and those who commit suicide tend to fade from memory just as fast as those who don't. There are good and there are bad reasons to commit suicide. Doing so solely so one can be remembered, unless it is in a particularly memorable way (like the Buddhist monks in Vietnam protesting the Diem regime by setting themselves on fire in public) is about as stupid a reason as one can get.

Re: Suicide

#232

Post by danking00 » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 2:56 PM UTC

jodrellblank wrote: post #167

danking00 wrote: post #128

What do you tell to someone who's decided that it's really quite pointless to continue working and living because the inevitable fate of the Universe coupled with the seeming inability to achieve sustained happiness? To them living to make a difference is pointless because practically nothing survives Solar death, and nothing survives a maximizing of Universal entropy. To them living for themselves is pointless becau…

You could start with the lesswrong.com article http://lesswrong.com/lw/sc/existential_angst_factory/

EDIT: this wasn't really a coherent response. Maybe I'll come back later with something else.

Re: Suicide

#233

Post by darasen » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 2:58 PM UTC

darasen wrote: post #69

But, I thought it was the "Most wonderful time of the year"!

Please note my comment was not meant to be blasé but rather my, admittedly, cynical view of the Christmas season.

Telling the clinically depressed (including self) that everything is wonderful and indicating they should feel the same is a bit like telling a man in a wheel chair he should go jogging. I get this a lot.

Re: Suicide

#234

Post by rimantas » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 3:10 PM UTC

justaname wrote: post #193

antirez wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Marriage creates a very deep and important link between two people, but once one of the two sides no longer want to continue, it is better to look forward: you will not lost all the good things about your marriage, they are inside you, but you can discover that you can be so happy, with a different partner, again. It happened to me in the past, I felt lost, now I'm happy again with my new partner. Time is an importan…

I wish I could see marriage this way. After being with my girlfriend for almost 7 years, we married. Turns out, a few days before the wedding she started an affair with the leader of her theatre group, whom she invited with the group to our wedding apero, to play some theatre plays for us. Two months later, she spilled the beans, and so much shit has happened since, that I can't look at a couple without thinking whic…

  > Living in a country where there is no apparent social
  > consequence for adultery has pushed me to the point
  > where I don't want anything to do with what marriage
  > or relationships represent.

I find it sad that for many the essence of the relationship boils down to whom you sleep or don't sleep with.

Re: Suicide

#235

Post by justaname » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 3:15 PM UTC

Mz wrote: post #222

justaname wrote: post #221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Not to put you down, but I seriously doubt you are as acquainted with relationship drama as I am. Ouch..

So far, no one has been murdered or gone to jail over it. So far, so good. I hope you enjoy the blog and I hope it helps you get through this. Logging off now as my shift is starting. I don't typically post from work.

I appreciate you offering the blog to read, and I've skimmed some, but the several mentions of infidelity are simply salt for my wounds. I have an absolutely furious anger towards infidelity, for which I won't ever again be made to apologize.

EDIT: I appreciate your background, and also that you offered the blog in good faith.

Re: Suicide

#236

Post by NIL8 » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 3:24 PM UTC

Thanks.

Re: Suicide

#237

Post by nyellin » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 3:40 PM UTC

justaname wrote: post #203

Mz wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You remind me of a line from a TV show (I think an episode of "Quantum Leap") where a woman has just been dumped by her married lover (or something along those lines) and someone talks her out of committing suicide by telling her something to the effect that if she kills herself over him, that would just send him the message she "couldn't live without him" and feed his ego and is that really what she wants to "say" t…

Well, the frustrating thing about love, even after betrayal, is that your biological make up makes you believe you need that person. It took me a long time before I lost hope and decided even feeling that way wasn't worth being with that person. You can only be walked over so much before there's no other option but to say fuck it, I've had enough. As for killing myself, to cause her pain. It just doesn't work, becaus…

I'm sorry to hear your story. You deserve better.

Remember that you have all the options in the world. If life is only be worth living with a fresh start, sell your apartment, take one suitcase, and travel to Paris or London or Australia. Your life is yours to do what you wish, not what others expect. Live in whatever way makes life worthwhile.

If you ever want someone to talk to, you can email me at aantny@gmail.com. I can probably host you for a night if you need to crash in Israel.

Re: Suicide

#238

Post by stinkytaco » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 3:42 PM UTC

sophacles wrote: post #162

So heres my experience with this whole topic: When I was very young, I remember feeling trapped in life. It wasn't a particularly terrible life, but not a particularly great one either. There were times when I just didn't want it. As I got older, I spent a lot of time mildly depressed. There were expectations I couldn't live up to, it seemed my family wanted me to be perfect, and the repercussions for not being so we…

Well, this post is still on the front page...

I waver a lot on the "Suicide is a selfish act" business. On one hand you're right, it's your life an no one can obligate you to live it. It's very empowering to know that you've got the option to end it. On the other, someone out there needs you more than you think. And I still don't believe a person who wants to end their life is totally rational, at least not for the most part.

But that kind of talk leads to the worse feeling of all, the feeling of being trapped. And that's the problem with "suicide help" posts. You read them and at the end you feel trapped. And being trapped and suicidal is more scary than just being suicidal.

I don't know what I think. But I do hope that most people who feel suicidal get help of some sort. Not because I don't think it's their right, but because I've been on both sides of the problem. To have people depend on you, I mean really depend on you and to be afraid to let them down is a terrible feeling because you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. But then to actually be let down by someone else is also pretty terrible.

So, even if it's an option to end your life, it's also an option to get some help for that feeling.

Re: Suicide

#239

Post by justaname » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 3:53 PM UTC

rimantas wrote: post #234

justaname wrote: post #193

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wish I could see marriage this way. After being with my girlfriend for almost 7 years, we married. Turns out, a few days before the wedding she started an affair with the leader of her theatre group, whom she invited with the group to our wedding apero, to play some theatre plays for us. Two months later, she spilled the beans, and so much shit has happened since, that I can't look at a couple without thinking whic…

> Living in a country where there is no apparent social > consequence for adultery has pushed me to the point > where I don't want anything to do with what marriage > or relationships represent. I find it sad that for many the essence of the relationship boils down to whom you sleep or don't sleep with.

It has a lot to do with trust. Without trust, how can a relationship work?

Also, do I want to find out twenty years later that I raised the child of another man? No, I don't.

Thirdly, getting blood tests that may turn out positive through no fault of my own is down right fucked up.

And fourthly, it fucking hurts to be betrayed like that, regardless of how you judge the morals.

Why is rape bad? Not because sex is bad, or forcing someone else to do something might be considered bad (parents force their children to do things all the time), but because it fucks the victim up. Cause and effect.

Through observation it's easy to see that a person experiences extreme pain through the infidelity of his partner. Maybe some don't feel a thing, but I did.

What frustrates me is that people see another causing this damage to another, and they don't give a shit. That's the crux of my problem. Complete and utter apathy for the suffering of another human being. Simply another form of complicity.

Re: Suicide

#240

Post by justaname » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 3:58 PM UTC

nyellin wrote: post #237

justaname wrote: post #203

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, the frustrating thing about love, even after betrayal, is that your biological make up makes you believe you need that person. It took me a long time before I lost hope and decided even feeling that way wasn't worth being with that person. You can only be walked over so much before there's no other option but to say fuck it, I've had enough. As for killing myself, to cause her pain. It just doesn't work, becaus…

I'm sorry to hear your story. You deserve better. Remember that you have all the options in the world. If life is only be worth living with a fresh start, sell your apartment, take one suitcase, and travel to Paris or London or Australia. Your life is yours to do what you wish, not what others expect. Live in whatever way makes life worthwhile. If you ever want someone to talk to, you can email me at aantny@gmail.com…

Wow, cool offer :) Australia's my next destination. The place I used to call home and will again soon. It's my light at the end of the tunnel, for the moment.