Suicide • Hacker News Board

Re: Suicide

#131

Post by singular » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 12:02 AM UTC

thedark wrote: post #116

Jun8 wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Whenever I find myself having similar thoughts I reread Willa Cather's story, "Paul's Case", here's the relevant part, the very end: "He stood watching the approaching locomotive, his teeth chattering, his lips drawn away from them in a frightened smile; once or twice he glanced nervously sidewise, as though he were being watched. When the right moment came, he jumped. As he fell, the folly of his haste occurred to h…

Okay, so the last few years I've had time and means to travel, and I'd like to comment somewhat on a perspective I gained while doing so. The list you gave- I've done all of those things. Well, change Machu Picchu to Pompeii and Somalia to the Congo. I realize your list was not comprehensive- but let me realize the spirit of your post and say I've done a large subset of the "things I'd like to do before I die," save…

I feel terribly sorry that you feel this way. I don't want to mess with this kind of stuff on something this important but, speaking from my own experience, and I do understand this feeling very well, I'd say that this is evidence that the sadness and ideation comes from inside and that the road to resolving it comes from working on that rather than outside things.

I've come to realise this quite strongly myself over the years as various things succeeded/failed, that what I thought would help it didn't, and that all that helps is to face the depression and actively find ways to fight it. I've found schema-based therapy very effective, for example.

I really hope you find a way to resolve these issues, or at least ways of making it better.

If you want to talk (hope this doesn't sound awfully patronising) you can find my email address in my profile.

Re: Suicide

#132

Post by loceng » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 12:05 AM UTC

kmfrk wrote: post #61

raganwald wrote: post #2

My thanks to @knowtheory for pointing out that suicidal people often feel alone/apart/disconnected from other people. I struggle with this, myself.

This point is also relevant with New Year's Eve coming up. Invite a couple of extra people to your New Year's Eve party whom you might not have thought of inviting, and you might do more good than you think. It's also worth mentioning that being alone is perfectly fine, but when people become lonely, it's something that needs to be addressed. It's all a state of mind, after all.

I'm not planning to do anything for NYE myself. I don't particularly even want to be around my family as that can really be not fun at all, further isolation is actually a better option out of those two.

Re: Suicide

#133

Post by GreyZephyr » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 12:14 AM UTC

csomar wrote: post #63

seiji wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've never been entirely sure. A while ago I made http://suicidescale.com/ but the wording still feels awkward to me. You have to strike a balance between explaining and understanding without sounding condescending. Explaining the temporary condition can help so people know they aren't alone (knowing you are one of millions who have had the same exact thought processes is a wake up call). Mentioning the processes can…

I just checked your website. I'm in the step 5. And, yes, I now feel this post is very dangerous because I never thought of suicide. Worse. I have recently dropped of colleague and don't have any friends right now. (didn't talk with a human for something like 15-20 days). Any quick remedies? I'm feeling more anxious.

Dear csomar,

Having been in your situation, the things I found helpful for a quick fix were exercise and food. It doesn't matter how much or what. If I am in a slump and feeling like it is all too much I force myself to do some exercise. A chin-up, a push-up, go for a run or a swim. If I am feeling really bad I will make myself do one push-up, on my knees. or just kneel on the floor and do a negative repetition. That's usually enough to get me started on doing something. Then I will go and eat some food. Or more likely, go to the shops and buy some food to cook. Then eat something. For me doing a little bit of exercise and then eating often makes enough of a difference that my misery is manageable.

There is some evidence that exercise is helpful for others in dealing with depression, e.g. [1] (A review paper) Anecdotally, this seems particularly the case if you are at all ADHD.

Long term I agree with all the other posts pointing out that seeking professional treatment is the best option. The pride factor was a huge problem for me and still is. I treat it like research. Psychiatrists and Psychologists, are experts in there field who I pay to explain options for treatment an methods for assessment and monitoring. Thankfully this has only happened once, but if they can't explain the different options and why the course of action they recommend is the best I find a different doctor.

1. http://www.annals-general-psychiatry.com/content/7/1/13

Re: Suicide

#134

Post by vonskippy » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 12:17 AM UTC

Suicide gets a bad rap.

With 7 billion plus people on a planet that can't support half that number why are we encouraging these sad sacks to stay alive?

Unique? Really, out of 7 billion plus people is anyone really all that special? If you're not enjoying the ride - get off now - and let people who are have a bit more space (and resources).

Suicide might be the only memorable thing you do in your sorry existence, so don't be so quick to discount it.

Who knows what's on the other side. If this life isn't satisfying you enough, take another spin on the wheel of life, who's to say what the next adventure will bring.

But what about the kids, spouse, family, friends you ask? Well obviously you don't care - or you wouldn't be contemplating suicide.

Humans are the only species that understands death, but doesn't understand how to deal with it. Who's to say when it's time to go? Who's to say it's wrong to plan that time instead of letting fate decide?

I was always told if you don't like the party, leave. Seems like good advice for life as well.

Re: Suicide

#135

Post by ikirill » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 12:19 AM UTC

seiji wrote: post #87

csomar wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I just checked your website. I'm in the step 5. And, yes, I now feel this post is very dangerous because I never thought of suicide. Worse. I have recently dropped of colleague and don't have any friends right now. (didn't talk with a human for something like 15-20 days). Any quick remedies? I'm feeling more anxious.

As vtail said, professional help is the long term treatment. If you need a quick fix, shrink your mind down to simple tasks using internet drugs: cuteoverload, reddit, hulu, tvtropes, HN, plan a trip to japan (doesn't matter if you even go), http://symphonyofscience.com/videos.html , ... For me, two things help: reminding myself nothing matters as much as I think it matters and setting a medium-term goal. Our decisio…

To tvtropes I also want to add comedy and music. Humour is a mild painkiller, interestingly enough: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=laughing-ma...

Re: Suicide

#136

Post by MartinCron » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 12:22 AM UTC

philwelch wrote: post #122

MartinCron wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Move to Seattle and the lack of sunlight will pretty much guarantee that you need antidepressants. Spoken as someone who knows.

They make lamps for that.

Absolutely, and many people have claimed they have worked for them. My mileage has varied.

Re: Suicide

#137

Post by Mz » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 12:27 AM UTC

I attempted suicide at age 17. I was also hospitalized twice for being suicidal, once in my teens and once in my twenties. I spent a lot of time in therapy (to deal with an abusive childhood), a lot of time working on getting a life and doing some serious problem solving (with regards to personal issues), and a lot of time resolving underlying health issues (that were undiagnosed when I was younger). I am currently facing eviction and doing so fairly calmly. I have no idea where I will go. I may literally be sleeping in the woods in winter come January. And I feel like I'm losing my mind because I'm not suicidal when I "should" be.

If, as one person here commented, you feel there is something broken with your brain, take that seriously. I've read some things about arachadonic acid and depression. And this happens to be an issue I addressed for unrelated reasons. I consciously and intentionally changed my body chemistry to address my health issues and that is likely part of why I am currently not suicidal in spite of being very short of sleep and in serious financial trouble and feeling like the entire world doesn't give a flying fuck about my accomplishments, my situation and so on.

If you are going through major transitions and that is a source of stress, there are more effective means to deal with those things too. I'm too short of sleep to write a book on the topic, I just want to make the point that if you feel something really negative, don't focus on your feelings. Focus on finding the roots of the problem, whether that is solving stressful life situations, addressing brain chemistry issues or something else.

Anyway, this is not something you have to just swallow. And in my experience, the touchy-feely emotional outreach stuff is not real effective. I was suicidal in part due to health issues and in part due to being molested and raped. Healing my sexuality and my body has changed that and I can say that with confidence because I've spent the last 12 days wondering why on earth I am not suicidal while facing eviction, dealing with a mountain of debt...etc...ad nauseum. Instead of falling apart and having histrionics, I am making plans to the best of my ability and working overtime.

Best of luck to anyone struggling with something like this.

Re: Suicide

#138

Post by zackzackzack » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 12:28 AM UTC

If you want somebody to talk to this holiday season, about anything at all, I extend an invitation to talk over Skype. Although I can't say for sure yet, but you are probably a really cool person if you are reading hacker news. If you find the time, I would really appreciate it if you reached out. I have nothing but time on my hands this winter break and I'd really like to avoid just mindlessly surfing the internet or coding all day long. Just send me an email at "moc.liramyrahcaz@kcaz".reverse().

Semi-repeat of this post: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3349993

Re: Suicide

#139

Post by throwaway48586 » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 12:40 AM UTC

thedark wrote: post #116

Jun8 wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Whenever I find myself having similar thoughts I reread Willa Cather's story, "Paul's Case", here's the relevant part, the very end: "He stood watching the approaching locomotive, his teeth chattering, his lips drawn away from them in a frightened smile; once or twice he glanced nervously sidewise, as though he were being watched. When the right moment came, he jumped. As he fell, the folly of his haste occurred to h…

Okay, so the last few years I've had time and means to travel, and I'd like to comment somewhat on a perspective I gained while doing so. The list you gave- I've done all of those things. Well, change Machu Picchu to Pompeii and Somalia to the Congo. I realize your list was not comprehensive- but let me realize the spirit of your post and say I've done a large subset of the "things I'd like to do before I die," save…

I am very much like you. Have you considered, given your minimal value of anything, that the costs associated with recreational drugs don't apply to you? I started (ab)using marijuana this year (daily). It makes life worth it for me. At the very least it's worth considering as an alternative to death.

Its easy to hide. Most the people in my life don't know. You can vaporize to minimize the health effects (also bad breath). If you do it regularly enough the cognitive deficit is less severe. Mostly just occasional memory loss. Again, nothing that you seem to care about anyway.

Re: Suicide

#140

Post by tokenadult » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 12:44 AM UTC

vonskippy wrote: post #134

Suicide gets a bad rap. With 7 billion plus people on a planet that can't support half that number why are we encouraging these sad sacks to stay alive? Unique? Really, out of 7 billion plus people is anyone really all that special? If you're not enjoying the ride - get off now - and let people who are have a bit more space (and resources). Suicide might be the only memorable thing you do in your sorry existence, so…

I hope compassionate participants here on HN will go directly to the link on the parent post above this comment

http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3350003

and FLAG IT.

I recall how pg felt when fallentimes, formerly an active participant here, died of suicide. If I remember correctly, that came about one week after a Hacker News thread in which several participants were dismissive of suicide.