"Don't bother people"
That one hurt me bad.
Life is much better after you gather a few restraining orders.
Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
231–240 of 248 posts
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#232Earlier quoted context omitted.
Not quite advice, but was a running theme of what many millenial-generation kids were told in the US (think "Mr. Rogers" era). Many argue it's made use seem overly demanding to others, particularly bosses.
Though I think some of the thinking given to millenial-generation kids in making them think that they can be what ever they want to be for example an astronaut, is still useful. It's just most people forget about it or give up on that thinking. The naivety in thinking that you could become an astronaut or something special will probably mean you are more likely to reach your goal or at least go further than other peo…
yeah, I agree. I thought about this today and realized some of the worst advice we got was from our middle school principal telling us to be well-rounded and develop real-world skills. It's the opposite of forcing yourself to focus on things that make you be "special".
And it made me more concerned about fitting into little social groups than focusing on what I want to do.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#233Earlier quoted context omitted.
To piggyback off your example to make a point, 1) public speaking: preach to the choir or speak your mind? 2) picking up women: be a nice guy or be assertive about your needs? 3) socializing/making friends: manipulate to get ahead or be loyal and get snubbed? 4) lifting weights: long day at work, go to the gym anyways? 5) starting a business: when to quit your job or when to admit that your project is a dead-horse 6)…
mind telling more about your experience on this? how far would you say "getting out of your comfort zone" did you reach? how did programming affected your life (seems like you meant you spent too much time doing so before getting to that... how was it?)
Personally after college, I had four goals: 1) be able to bench-press 200lb, 2) play guitar in a band/be able to improvise, solo, play at performance tempo etc., 3) be able to play pick-up basketball and win more games for my team than lose, 4) to approach women and other people in bar and other urban scenario's and f-close or the social equivalent.
No, I haven't completely achieved all of my goals although I have gone very far in all of them. But I'm not as anxious about them nor about admitting on my shortcomings on my goals in public; like in programming, at a point you develop a sense of confidence that even on a long programming project, it's only a matter a time that you will finish it. It's just a sequence of iterations of coding & debugging.
How did programming affect my life? It made me a nerd with inferiority-superiority complex who on one hand views average human beings as automatons who let their sense of social insecurity get in their way; and who on the other hand is insecure himself, requires constant social re-assurances, stroking of the ego and (most importantly) sexual gratification. And for that, I'm eternally indebted to programming.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#234Knock on wood, nothing that has ruined my life, but little things that I have caused me opportunities.
-"Should I tell a recruiter or HR person about my current salary?"
Friend of mine said always tell, reveal everything and be truthful. The reality, I got fucking low balled on salary, pretty much they would not go above $5K of what I currently made. It wasn't till I spoke to someone else that told me NEVER tell your salary, either say you rather not say or give a large range. So far giving a range has worked out for me every time. I give a large range and they tend to lean towards the high end.
- Never talk about sex, politics and religion on a date.
I found out it is the BEST way to quickly find out if you are compatible or not with someone. I am referring to if you're dating for a serious long term or possibly marriage relationship. Of course the way you talk about it does matter.
I have done this to everyone of my dates and I can tell right away if it's wort the effort or not. Usually it's the politics that is the deal breaker.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#235I'm not exactly sure how to word it, and I'm not aware of a single source who advised me on it, but it seems like there's a pervasive feeling in society that "If I want to learn something, I need a teacher." I outgrew this mental model around 14, and now in college I feel so much further ahead of many of my peers who are lucky to have taken a HS programming course once before choosing a programming degree. I wish I h…
I somewhat agree. You dont need a teacher to learn anything, but you do need a mentor. To me mentors have changed my life, career and the way I approach everything. They usually enlighten you with their own experience and help guide you when you are lost.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#236Worst advice: Go back to school and get your bachelors in the middle of an economic bubble.
Wait til it bursts, you can go back then when it's harder to find lucrative work.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#237Never, never, not in a million years, listen to a single word of advice uttered by someone who isn't happy with their life. They have absolutely nothing to teach you. This is strong stuff, granted, but I think it is tremendously important. Every single piece of bad advice I have ever received was from someone who didn't like their life. If you're unhappy, you have two basic options. You can do something to make yours…
> Never, never, not in a million years, listen to a single word of advice uttered by someone who isn't happy with their life. They have absolutely nothing to teach you. What about what-not-to-do advice?
What not to do might be something they should have done, but couldn't for whatever reason.
You can go further than rationalization of one's choices to a desire to validate them by preventing success by others.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#238Oh, don't get greedy when taking supposed insider tips about a stock :)
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#239Never, never, not in a million years, listen to a single word of advice uttered by someone who isn't happy with their life. They have absolutely nothing to teach you. This is strong stuff, granted, but I think it is tremendously important. Every single piece of bad advice I have ever received was from someone who didn't like their life. If you're unhappy, you have two basic options. You can do something to make yours…
I completely and profoundly disagree. Why do you think many great philosophers, intellectuals, and achievers have struggled with depression? Because they made bad decisions? There are plenty of idiots dispensing awful advice while wearing a smile on their face, as well. If you want to feel good, talk to a happy person that will tell you what you want to hear. If you want the truth, talk to a thinker.
Philosophers are great at philosophy, and finding out certain truths about the World.
But there are very few philosophers I would want to take advice from. I'd like a debate with Nietzsche, Schopenhaeur, Kant, ... and many others.
But would I take their advice about how to live my life in a pragmatic way? Hell, no.
Secondly, advice is about what you should do, not what is true. A subtle, but important, distinction.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#240Earlier quoted context omitted.
I believe that unless you are chemically, neurologically or biologically imbalanced, there's no excuse to be bitter or unhappy. I won't discuss happiness here, but even if the advice of some bitter person is good, I would say that an advice of a person who I lookup to will always be "better". Of course, things should be placed in context. An advice of a bitter math teacher on mathematics will always be better than an…
What does it mean to be chemically and biologically balanced?
It means that your body doesn't work as it was originally designed. Simple as that.