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Linus Torvalds: 'I'll never be cuddly but I can be more polite'

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231–240 of 483 posts

Re: Linus Torvalds: 'I'll never be cuddly but I can be more polite'

#231

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you for providing a glimpse into a mind bending gymnastics one might need to engage in to convince himself or herself that it is different somehow: this is actually why work references are absolutely useless - people love to coddle incompetence in order to be perceived as "nice bosses". If someone's being unable to do a job is management's fault ( in this case yours, since you are the manager of the person that…

I have absolutely no idea how you can draw this conclusion. There is a pretty obvious difference between "giving feedback in a respectful, polite and constructive manner" and "giving feedback in an aggressive, disrespectful and unhelpful manner". The former isn't "coddling" – it's "being a decent human being". The problem I see is that too many people seem to confuse "having strong views and standing by them" with "b…

Reminds me a lot of a Jeff Atwood quote from the Stackoverflow.com podcast's initial days.

>It's much better to have "strong views, weakly held" than to have "weak views, strongly held".

Meaning that you should be confident in your opinions but at the same time be willing to concede defeat if someone can show you why your opinion is wrong or not the most optimal one. Rather than persistently defending a view that you also over time come to realise was wrong.

Since you've invested so much time and are holding onto the weak view strongly, you would not want to abandon the view due to the feeling that it was all a waste.

Re: Linus Torvalds: 'I'll never be cuddly but I can be more polite'

#232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Empathy as a way to not communicate directly is just a waste of time It is this attitude that drives people, and especially women and minorities, away from tech.

I work with women, I don't think they are that stupid they cannot handle it. It must be something else. Definitely none of them cried or left because we get to the point in the meetings, or I don't compliment them before criticizing their work. I think not working like this may be even weird for some of my foreign coworkers.

Way to miss the point entirely.

Re: Linus Torvalds: 'I'll never be cuddly but I can be more polite'

#233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you feel it is "the natural tendency" to make minorities feel less welcome? My natural tendency -- and anecdotally, pretty much everyone I know -- is to treat people well regardless of their race; to treat people the way you'd want to be treated.

the question of the status quo is itself politicised. One side (progressive sphere) says people who don't belong to the normed group (cis-white-hetero-male in US/EUR) are inherently treated worse, either consciously or unconsciously (bias), and conscious effort has to be made to overcome this. Another (classical liberal sphere) says that exclusionary behaviour are the exception and most people abide by the golden rul…

Per sibling comment, the question of whether discrimination happens, consciously or unconsciously, is one amenable to factual analysis and is not a political question. What is political is whether anything should be done about it.

> exclusionary behaviour are the exception and most people abide by the golden rule

So the question for this has to be: when do you think the date was at which "most people" started to do this? Was it a mass conversion at the enactment of the US Civil Rights Act, or a much slower battle?

Re: Linus Torvalds: 'I'll never be cuddly but I can be more polite'

#234

I don't need my computer tools to define my political/spiritual beliefs. In fact, I think Torvalds adopting something like this in relation to Linux is a deep betrayal of a hacker ethos. I will be keeping my eyes peeled for alternatives that understand the division between spiritual beliefs and "forced agreement with an assertion by participation" that uses religious terminology that has quite a different meaning to…

> I don't need my computer tools to define my political/spiritual beliefs.

[...goes on to explain how they are looking for a whole new OS more inline with their political/spiritual beliefs]

Re: Linus Torvalds: 'I'll never be cuddly but I can be more polite'

#235
post #89
post #64

His feelings about two of the "sides" of this argument are so recognisable. I'm generally in favour of going out of my way e.g. to make minorities feel more welcome to compensate for the natural tendency to make them feel less welcome. However, the nastiness of some of the people in "my camp" pushes me away from it and makes me reluctant to openly support that cause. In effect, they're really counterproductive, and t…

I wish people would stop being so concerned about what other people think. If treating people well is the right thing to do, then do it. If people are nasty when they try to make you treat people well, ignore them. When people say that they wanted to do the right thing but got pushed away because the advocates were jerks, that just sounds like an excuse. That’s not to say that it’s ok to be a jerk just because you’re…

Paying attention to what other people think is vital for converging on an agreed "right thing to do" as the social challenges become less obvious and more complex. This exercise requires proponents of ideas to engage in civil conversation, something which those given the most air time or who shout loudest seem completely incapable of. The natural response to this level of aggression is disengagement in the interest of self-preservation or spending one's time wisely.

Re: Linus Torvalds: 'I'll never be cuddly but I can be more polite'

#236
post #64

His feelings about two of the "sides" of this argument are so recognisable. I'm generally in favour of going out of my way e.g. to make minorities feel more welcome to compensate for the natural tendency to make them feel less welcome. However, the nastiness of some of the people in "my camp" pushes me away from it and makes me reluctant to openly support that cause. In effect, they're really counterproductive, and t…

When you have a combative environment most unopinionated people leave. I don't think there is any secret that there are a lot of us out there that aren't very excited about Linux anymore. Just that most of us decided to spend time on something else instead.

Re: Linus Torvalds: 'I'll never be cuddly but I can be more polite'

#237
post #222
post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There will always be garbage people in "your camp", whatever that camp might be. Hell, for some people in "your camp" you'll be the nasty one. The big problem with the internet and modern social networks is that they suck at filtering the noise and getting the interesting bits. In the end if we're not careful we only hear those who shout the loudest and most provocative things. A well researched essay on gender studi…

I wish there was a way to get more of those ideas to me, and people in general, and less of the "I drink white male tears".

I don't think that there are any garbage people. Everybody has some good in them. (This doesn't imply we shouldn't set some boundaries).

Re: Linus Torvalds: 'I'll never be cuddly but I can be more polite'

#238
post #97
post #64

His feelings about two of the "sides" of this argument are so recognisable. I'm generally in favour of going out of my way e.g. to make minorities feel more welcome to compensate for the natural tendency to make them feel less welcome. However, the nastiness of some of the people in "my camp" pushes me away from it and makes me reluctant to openly support that cause. In effect, they're really counterproductive, and t…

There will always be garbage people in "your camp", whatever that camp might be. Hell, for some people in "your camp" you'll be the nasty one. The big problem with the internet and modern social networks is that they suck at filtering the noise and getting the interesting bits. In the end if we're not careful we only hear those who shout the loudest and most provocative things. A well researched essay on gender studi…

> for some people in "your camp" you'll be the nasty one.

I'll go one further. "The nasty one" is a role that usually begs to be filled, even in a good cause. Sometimes it's even essential to progress. "Good cop, bad cop" works. I'm more likely to play "bad cop" myself, though at least I'm usually aware of it being a situational role. I've definitely said things that would have violated a CoC if there had been one in those situations, so I do understand the fear of them, but here's why I chose that particular metaphor: even the bad cop is usually working within limits. That dynamic can still exist, and still be effective, even within the limits of a CoC. People can still be demanding, critical, even abrasive ... and they will. They just can't be bigots or harassers and expect to keep getting away with it.

Re: Linus Torvalds: 'I'll never be cuddly but I can be more polite'

#239
post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That’s essentially a cliché false dichotomy. Wouldn’t it be even nicer to work with someone who can express how they feel in a constructive and helpful manner?

Sure. But in reality as a leader you sometimes have to be willing to piss off some people. You can't always be nice. Sometimes you have to draw a clear boundary.

Wow, you respond to a comment about false dichotomy by invoking the false dichotomy.

Re: Linus Torvalds: 'I'll never be cuddly but I can be more polite'

#240
post #213
post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wish people would stop being so concerned about what other people think. If treating people well is the right thing to do, then do it. If people are nasty when they try to make you treat people well, ignore them. When people say that they wanted to do the right thing but got pushed away because the advocates were jerks, that just sounds like an excuse. That’s not to say that it’s ok to be a jerk just because you’re…

Civility is the bedrock on which justice is built. That's why Gandhi, King, and Mandela effected change. And so many passionate others did not.

The history book you read was so whitewashed it may as well been bleached.
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