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Many African families spend fortunes burying their dead
211–220 of 245 posts
Re: Many African families spend fortunes burying their dead
#212> Modernity is about not doing what your family says The flip side is that rich and modern people feel lonely and sad that they don't have strong social bonds.
> flip side is that rich and modern people feel lonely and sad The happiest countries in the world are also rich [1]. I'm not saying you can't fuck up being rich. But it's a lot harder to be fulfilled if you're poor. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Happiness_Report#2025_re...
You do realize that the literal first factor that is used to calculate that index is GDP per capita, right? And that life expectancy (another factor) correlates with the GDP of the country?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Happiness_Report#Interna...
Re: Many African families spend fortunes burying their dead
#213Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is what both my parents and myself did. When my mum was diagnosed with Stage 4 melanoma, it was one less thing to worry about arranging and trying to find money for. She went from diagnosis to death in two months so things were a bit disorienting and just getting a RESPECT form (aka DNR) completed was such a struggle as everyone I spoke to had no record of my previous conversation with the last person I spoke to…
I'll just mention that when my mom was starting to deteriorate, my dad hired a healthcare advocate and set up legal authorities such that if he was incapacitated when mom needed medical decisions in hospice, or logistical details about funeral arrangements, the advocate could represent what mom and dad had discussed prior as their wishes. Then, a year or so after my mom passed it became clear dad was heading that way…
Are you able to share any details about how you found the healthcare advocate or who I could talk to about it? It's just me and my dad now with some of my cousins between 2 and 4 hours away, so when my dad is on his way out I'm quite anxious about dealing with it all and have basically no money.
We ended up using the Co-op to cremate my mum, skipping any funeral services and going with the most basic offerings and it still cost more than I expected. It was darkly funny that when we were paying we were asked if we had a Co-op loyalty card, the exact same one we'd use when buying milk and bread in the shop, and she scanned it and we got a discount.
Thanks :)
Re: Many African families spend fortunes burying their dead
#214Earlier quoted context omitted.
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Hey, this kind of defiant strutting is not cool. It's fine to disagree with the article, and you don't owe the author anything, but you owe this community better if you want to participate here. HN is only a place where people like to participate because we have clear guidelines and many people who make the effort each day to uphold them. It's not OK to disrespect this community by acting as if the guidelines don't a…
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Re: Many African families spend fortunes burying their dead
#215The factual material about funeral spending costs is very interesting, but when it gets into "Kinship societies are wealth-destroying societies" it seems rather… unsupported? That's a sweeping statement that actually requires understanding the whole picture, and the whole picture is not being presented. Is there reason to think the author truly has all the context to make these claims?
It's viewing the situation through the lens of Anglo capitalist opinions. I found the same thing when working in Cambodia; Khmer culture is very, very, family-oriented, the extended family is the main survival mechanism for Khmer people, and individual wishes are often subordinated to the family. This is their culture, Khmer people are happy with it, this is how they choose to live. The Anglo ex-pats (including me) d…
> It's viewing the situation through the lens of Anglo capitalist opinions.
Yes and while I find the article to be quite insightful on the whole, I can't take it seriously as an anthropological study.
There is a strong ethnocentric bias that the author failed to declare / acknowledge, which reduces the credibility of his claims. Also there is little supporting data.
Re: Many African families spend fortunes burying their dead
#216I am a Ghanaian, and what the article describes is inaccurate. Lavish funerals are only specific to the Akan ethnic group (Fante and Ashanti; there are 70+ distinct ethnic groups) and, to some extent, Christians. Usually, the Clan shoulders the cost of the casket, with the nuclear family covering the remaining expenses. As always, the family expects sufficient donations (nsawa) from the attendees (relatives, friends, associations, extended family) to offset the costs.
What many people miss is that the funeral almost always reflects the life of the deceased - wealthy, social status (e.g., a king or playing a significant societal role), the number of children, age (funeral for the elderly is very different from the young), etc.
We have a popular saying that only in the Ashanti region can one profit from a funeral. They’re the only ethnic group with the most expensive funerals.
Re: Many African families spend fortunes burying their dead
#217Earlier quoted context omitted.
> The Author is labeling this an “African” thing which is just the usual daft nonsense > This is like taking something a small town in Louisiana does and declaring it an “American” tradition. I've mentioned this issue on HN a ton but it gets downvoted to oblivion. It truly is a hivemind.
It's a hivemind of a certain culture who are only taught there exist only 9 countries in the whole world: USA, Canada, South America, UK, Europe, Japan, China, Asia, Australia. What do you mean that Africa is a continent of great diversity in cultures, languages and history? They all look poor and black to me.
The "people who'll levy the complaint you just did" and "people who'll pretend all of europe is the same when it suits them" is far too close to a circle for my liking.
That said, I endorse your complaint.
Re: Many African families spend fortunes burying their dead
#218[flagged]
Re: Many African families spend fortunes burying their dead
#219Earlier quoted context omitted.
I can't see how all the mental overhead of modern multicultural living can make you happier either.
Really? Having other cultures around you makes one unhappy now?
Because the culture that's moving in is intolerant of my way of life and wants to piecemeal eradicate it by using the government to incrementally make every bit of the way I live harder, more expensive or subject to capricious enforcement if not outright illegal.
I thought I would be able to get in a good 20-40yr settling down where I did and would only be complaining about this stuff when I was old. It's been about 10 and it's all going to shit.
And yes, I am intentionally not being specific and leaving room for assumption.
Re: Many African families spend fortunes burying their dead
#220Earlier quoted context omitted.
Korea used to have something similar to this phenomenon, although it wasn’t for the funeral. When the oldest man (probably the grandfather of a big family) has his 60th birthday, the entire family had to celebrate with basically throwing a days-long party. It was like a family duty for the rest of the family, and it was embedded into the culture so deeply so they wouldn’t simply think about the alternative of having…
In Mexico you have quincenaras with like 500 people and a dress that's worn for 1 day that costs like $2,000.
Sounds like an Indian wedding ... upper-middle class indians now spend around Rs. 50 lakhs (around USD 55,555) for a wedding here in South India.