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Student beauty and grades under in-person and remote teaching

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Re: Student beauty and grades under in-person and remote teaching

#211

Post by ecshafer »

elevatortrim wrote: post #100
SkyeCA wrote: post #67

Attraction matters and it matters a lot. This isn't news, a lot of people just don't like to acknowledge it.

I think there is an expectation that it should not matter, and there is a reality that it does matter, and there is lots of discussion because the expectations and the reality do not match.

Why is there an expectation that it should not matter? Is it just childrens shows? In many countries you have to put a headshot on your resume, that seems very overt that attractiveness / looks does matter. In the west there is a large idealism over practicality sometimes.

Re: Student beauty and grades under in-person and remote teaching

#212

Post by bombcar »

relaxing wrote: post #185
ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #161

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have a lot of respect for folks that successfully lose a great deal of weight. If I know someone did that, my estimation of them generally goes up, several notches. I'm no stranger to quitting stuff, but significant weight loss is still terrifying to me. I could benefit from losing 20-30 lbs, myself, and it's not been easy. Success has been ... elusive . Maybe it's different, these days, with GLP-1 drugs (I have al…

I’ve noticed there’s a similar challenge in keeping bad ideas out of your head.

Weight loss, debt recovery, and other habit changes are just that - changes to habit which are much more difficult if you don't admit that's what you're doing.

This has been discussed from time immemorial and confronting it as it is (that in the case of habits we are more animal than rational) is the beginning of change.

An example is that you can't just "cut it out" you have to replace it with something else.

Re: Student beauty and grades under in-person and remote teaching

#213

Post by willy_k »

yieldcrv wrote: post #195
TrackerFF wrote: post #68

People that have used to be fat, and then lost a lot of weight, will know how brutally different people will treat you. Whereas you'd practically be a ghost before weight loss, random people will suddenly look you in your eyes, smile, even start conversations with you. Some will of course argue that you losing weight will also make you more confident, and thus you become more approachable. I think there's a lot of bi…

Alot of discussions from trans people have been very validating of gendered experiences as they get to objectively experience both and see the difference

Do you believe that they get an unadulterated perspective of both experiences? That they would be getting the experience of a woman rather than that of a trans woman?

Re: Student beauty and grades under in-person and remote teaching

#214

Post by LightBug1 »

TrackerFF wrote: post #68

People that have used to be fat, and then lost a lot of weight, will know how brutally different people will treat you. Whereas you'd practically be a ghost before weight loss, random people will suddenly look you in your eyes, smile, even start conversations with you. Some will of course argue that you losing weight will also make you more confident, and thus you become more approachable. I think there's a lot of bi…

On the flip side, there's nothing more valuable than being able to walk around as a "fat" and/or "unattractive" person to really hone your filter ...

Once things have "improved", the filter remains and I'd argue those solid friends/colleagues/etc are proven gold.

In my books, there's nothing worse than being rich, beautiful, attractive off the bat as you might never know if those close to you are hangers on or the real deal.

Lots of ""'s here to be respectful that my opinions on the matter may differ from others.

Re: Student beauty and grades under in-person and remote teaching

#215

Post by kapep »

Aurornis wrote: post #108
TrackerFF wrote: post #68

People that have used to be fat, and then lost a lot of weight, will know how brutally different people will treat you. Whereas you'd practically be a ghost before weight loss, random people will suddenly look you in your eyes, smile, even start conversations with you. Some will of course argue that you losing weight will also make you more confident, and thus you become more approachable. I think there's a lot of bi…

> Whereas you'd practically be a ghost before weight loss, random people will suddenly look you in your eyes, smile, even start conversations with you. I watched something like this happen in a friend, but as an outside observer I saw a different explanation: The period when he got into shape involved a lot of changes for the better in his life, including becoming more outgoing, motivated, and disciplined (necessary…

A data point, though my situation is not even about weight: I used to be skinny fat in my mid-twenties until mid-thirties - so basically still kind of slim but some belly fat and not much muscles. Kind of average, unremarkable.

After a breakup I started being more active again, I went bouldering once a week and gradually got into shape and then really athletic after about 2 years when I started going twice a week. My total weight didn't change at all. I dress just as good as before and have the same overall style. Of course most clothes simply look better on me, now that I'm more in shape. Same good job that I still like. I do go out a bit more. But overall I would say I really didn't change anything except getting more attractive from putting on muscles and losing fat.

It made a hell of a difference for dating. Before I felt mostly invisible but since then got approached in bars all the time, which rarely happened before. After some time I got way more confident - but when this stated I sure wasn't yet. Some woman even told me into the face that I lacked confidence after they approached me and realized I don't have the personality and/or confidence matching my appearance. They certainly only approached me because of my appearance.

The people only loosing weight are probably held back by other things. If they changed everything but their weight they likely wouldn't have more success either. I would say I had most things figured out already before and It seems I was held back only by having an average build. Just getting fit absolutely made the difference for me.

Re: Student beauty and grades under in-person and remote teaching

#216

Post by WarmWash »

triceratops wrote: post #204
WarmWash wrote: post #156

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The actual problem is that we are not blank slates, and wealthy parents tend to be wealthy because they are more intelligent, and likewise give birth to predisposed-to-be-intelligent babies. I always find it slightly ironic how mother nature gets so much reverence from ostensibly communal types, despite her being the most shamelessly power hungry entity ever conceived.

> wealthy parents tend to be wealthy because they are more intelligent Not "more intelligent", just "unusual in some way". People can be wealthier than average for all sorts of reasons unrelated to intelligence (as defined by IQ). Here's a sampling of them: Being social and good at sales. Most successful real estate agents I've met don't strike me as particularly brilliant. Working a boring job, living modestly, and…

Intelligence correlates highly with not having anti-social behaviors.

So a lot of the time, it's not "being smart" that carries you to wealth, its avoiding the "disastrously stupid things" that stops you from being poor.

Re: Student beauty and grades under in-person and remote teaching

#217

Post by red-iron-pine »

relaxing wrote: post #182
amelius wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> He also bought a new wardrobe and replaced his old worn out logo T-shirts and cargo shorts with clothes more appropriate for an adult. I think the problem many __men__ have with that is that an "appropriate" wardrobe looks more uniform and less individualized, basically boring.

Only if your idea of personality is expressed through a logo tshirt.

Only if your idea of personality is expressed through a textured fabric

Re: Student beauty and grades under in-person and remote teaching

#218

Post by bombcar »

norome wrote: post #141
butILoveLife wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ive seen the opposite in some people. I know a ~55ish year old lady who is beautiful, but looks 55. I see her adjusting to her new reality and its painful. I imagine she used to be able to get away with being mean and sarcastic because she was so hot. Now it just causes office fights. "I wont work with X" is something Ive heard. The interesting part is that I originally only worked with her on the phone, so I always…

plenty of mean and sarcastic ugly people around too

They often have "other reasons" people put up with it - even just being the office attack dog you sic on annoying customers will make you a valuable team member.

Re: Student beauty and grades under in-person and remote teaching

#219

Post by bombcar »

anal_reactor wrote: post #167
_wrhf wrote: post #139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having been overweight my entire life until recently, this is accurate. The "it's just your newfound confidence" argument misses the mark completely. The baseline level of basic respect you receive from strangers such as simply making eye contact, holding doors, or initiating small talk changes almost overnight. It is a very bitter reality to wake up to when you realize you were basically invisible before.

I dress like a hobo so that everyone fucks off and nobody wants anything from me. Sometimes I go somewhere and people walk away, giving me personal space. It's amazing.

Are you sure it's not your username? ;)

Re: Student beauty and grades under in-person and remote teaching

#220

Post by maxglute »

TrackerFF wrote: post #68

People that have used to be fat, and then lost a lot of weight, will know how brutally different people will treat you. Whereas you'd practically be a ghost before weight loss, random people will suddenly look you in your eyes, smile, even start conversations with you. Some will of course argue that you losing weight will also make you more confident, and thus you become more approachable. I think there's a lot of bi…

step 1 be attractive

step 2 don't be unattractive

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