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Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

solvingprocrastination.com

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Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#211

Post by Llamamoe »

Aurornis wrote: post #88

I developed a bad case of perfectionism-procrastination after working for a toxic boss. It didn't matter how polished our product was, he'd find a way to tear it apart. When he'd have a bad day, he'd start picking apart a random team's product. "Unbelievable!" he'd say in Slack, dropping a screen recording of the app that showed something we were supposed to be embarrassed about. It could be that the app took 3 secon…

Not a toxic boss, but reading this is making me realize that I developed exactly this due to the trauma of being disabled by severe chronic fatigue, ADHD, and eventually worsening cognitive decline.

I used to enthusiastically throw myself into projects and other endeavors, but over the years, as it became impossible to think, focus, motivate myself... for nearly a decade, things have only been "possible" until I attempt them, find myself unable to, and end up crying in my bed for the five-thousandth time in my life.

To a point where even when I'm a bit better, I'm perpetually trapped in this "hypothetical space", never trying to do anything for real. Using my energy to dream about a better life and life goals in lieu of as much as lifting a finger to do any of them.

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#212

Post by SeriousM »

protoman3000 wrote: post #201
CooCooCaCha wrote: post #185

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That falls under the "feeling superior" bucket. And like others have said it doesn't explain bias towards certain people.

Yes it could. The boss seems to show strong tendencies of narcissism. Narcissists gather so called “flying monkeys” around them which fuel their sense of superiority and they bind them through various techniques to them (until they are also discarded). In this case the narcissist the PowerPoint-mockup people are these flying monkeys, feeding the narcissist all the grandiose ideas and it gives the narcissist a high fo…

Thank you for bringing narcissism to the table and explaining the flying monkeys so well! Especially in this two staged process of designing and implementing it's easy to pick up the utopian ideas and see the realistic implementation and/or timetable on which one can blame the inperfect people not reaching the high (unreachable) goals.

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#213

Post by SeriousM »

whstl wrote: post #196
jopsen wrote: post #191

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Shipping is the most important quality. There is something to be said for the good old days when we modified PHP files in an editor over FTP :) Never done it professionally. But developing in production would make me ship faster, and using php would probably limit my tendency to make gold plated solutions.

In my C# days, before CI/CD was fashionable, the pinnacle for me was using the "Deploy" button that would compile, run some tests and then deploy. Got a bug? Fix in 5 minutes. Got a typo? Seconds. Code and software quality was surprisingly better than it is today. Today? In a process heavy company with Jira, PMs and QA it can become a week-long affair, unless I (the lead developer) bypass parts of the process. The pe…

Definitely right! Three improvements of 70% quality is much more Outcome as a single improvement with 95% quality in the same time. (Let's be honest, 100% isn't reachable even for the perfect perfectionist).

It even leads to more different changes and more ground to improve upon again.

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#214

Post by kaashif »

skeaker wrote: post #123
pjerem wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It depends, do you define endless scrolling as boredom ? Because I think it’s not.

That's not what the post above you is talking about. "Endless scrolling" was never even mentioned

The point is, I guess, the worst procrastinators don't choose boredom, they choose some mindless but not boring activity like endless scrolling through social media.

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#215

Post by stiglitz »

kthejoker2 wrote: post #100

I probably have a whole personal blog of my own on the topic, dear as it is to my soul. My two main pieces of advice: The bar is very very low, and share your burden quickly. 99 times out of 100 you are way overestimating the value of what you're delivering and people's expectations for it, and underestimating the value of time i.e. shipping quickly. I've turned in so many things I'm not happy with and gotten a "this…

>I've turned in so many things I'm not happy with and gotten a "this is great"

Great if this feedback is from users; not great if it's from somebody who's just been waiting for you to finish it so that they can sell it. Unfortunately in a big-company environment like the one I work in, the initial and dominant feedback is usually from the latter.

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#216

Post by pjerem »

kaashif wrote: post #214
skeaker wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's not what the post above you is talking about. "Endless scrolling" was never even mentioned

The point is, I guess, the worst procrastinators don't choose boredom, they choose some mindless but not boring activity like endless scrolling through social media.

Thank you, that was my point but I should have been more precise.

I heard that some boredom may be "good" to "reset" dopamine systems and try to fix procrastination issues (especially since I have diagnosed ADHD.

So I tried to get bored. And I observed that being really bored is incredibly hard when you have a smartphone (or a laptop or …).

The point of my question is that I often physically looks like I’m bored but actually if i have a screen in front of me, I’m never bored. So I wouldn’t be surprised if the people that looks like they prefer boredom are really bored or a just look like they are.

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#217

Post by engcoach »

gizajob wrote: post #80
sjfjsjdjwvwvc wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sorry to hear that. I’m not in a position to help you but there are many selfhelp support networks in your neighbourhood that can help(most likely, assuming you live in a city). Showing up is already a giant step forwards.

I’m really just not someone people enjoy the company of or want to get to know or have around. Kind of my conclusion after 40 years of living in cities. Have tried all kinds of groups and programmes. Have tried putting in the interest but everyone I know or meet fades out, either quickly or slowly. Don’t have any family either, or a significant other.

You need to start changing coefficients in your “life physics” and see what happens. Increasing the amount of new social contact is always a good starting point.

Best of luck

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#218

Post by kthejoker2 »

Noumenon72 wrote: post #204
kthejoker2 wrote: post #100

I probably have a whole personal blog of my own on the topic, dear as it is to my soul. My two main pieces of advice: The bar is very very low, and share your burden quickly. 99 times out of 100 you are way overestimating the value of what you're delivering and people's expectations for it, and underestimating the value of time i.e. shipping quickly. I've turned in so many things I'm not happy with and gotten a "this…

> One specific thing I did that helped a few years ago at my precious company was I told my team, wrote in my email signature, ran a small study group, etc. On grit, procrastination, and "growth mindset" and just made a very intentional effort to tell people how I struggled with this problem. What did you write in your email signature?

it was basically just an ad to join our Teams channel where we shared articles and had a book club.

"I'm working on my unhealthy perfectionism by developing a growth mindset. Join me!"

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#219

Post by kthejoker2 »

stiglitz wrote: post #215
kthejoker2 wrote: post #100

I probably have a whole personal blog of my own on the topic, dear as it is to my soul. My two main pieces of advice: The bar is very very low, and share your burden quickly. 99 times out of 100 you are way overestimating the value of what you're delivering and people's expectations for it, and underestimating the value of time i.e. shipping quickly. I've turned in so many things I'm not happy with and gotten a "this…

>I've turned in so many things I'm not happy with and gotten a "this is great" Great if this feedback is from users; not great if it's from somebody who's just been waiting for you to finish it so that they can sell it. Unfortunately in a big-company environment like the one I work in, the initial and dominant feedback is usually from the latter.

I guess I'm just not as cynical as that, or maybe I'm more clear eyed about my role in the chain of GTM, but I don't see what's so "unfortunate" about the scenario you described.

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#220

Post by CooCooCaCha »

ethbr1 wrote: post #162
jayd16 wrote: post #158

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is this true? Are bullies indiscriminate and swing in all directions or do they focus on where the power dynamic benefits them? I feel like I've seen both.

I'd call that the difference between bullies and sociopaths. At least to me, one of the defining bully characteristics is an inability to moderate their own behavior, even for their own benefit.

A sociopath can bully people though. In terms of words I don't think the distinction you're talking about is widely accepted.
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