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Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

solvingprocrastination.com

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Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#121

Post by jimmydddd »

sjfjsjdjwvwvc wrote: post #23

„ We need to think about failure differently. I’m not the first to say that failure, when approached properly, can be an opportunity for growth. But the way most people interpret this assertion is that mistakes are a necessary evil. Mistakes aren’t a necessary evil. They aren’t evil at all. They are an inevitable consequence of doing something new (and, as such, should be seen as valuable; without them, we’d have no…

When in high school, I returned home after a ski weekend with friends. When I returned home, my relatives, who didn't ski, asked if I fell at all during the weekend. I remarked that I had, especially while navigating some expert trails. They consoled me saying "that's OK, maybe you'll do better next time." I was confused at first until I realized that they thought of falling as a tragic outcome instead of a natural part of the learning process.

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#123

Post by skeaker »

pjerem wrote: post #112
Aurornis wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The easiest antidote for procrastination is boredom. From my experience with young people, the worst procrastinators will often choose boredom over the task they're avoiding. Doing nothing at all is less painful to them than doing the work they're avoiding. This is even more true for the perfectionist procrastinators: They are avoiding some exaggerated hypothetical pain that might come from failing at a task. If th…

It depends, do you define endless scrolling as boredom ? Because I think it’s not.

That's not what the post above you is talking about. "Endless scrolling" was never even mentioned

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#124

Post by rickdicker »

gizajob wrote: post #108
diggan wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Friends are just acquaintances you know better than others. You start as acquaintances and as you develop the relationship, you'll eventually be friends. Some people have so good relationships they even use the label "bestie", which is just a really good friend, who at the beginning surely was a acquaintance :)

Thanks for your input. Being honest, my situation has been like this for so long now I’ve given up hope and lost interest in it ever changing. Used to my own loneliness nowadays so it doesn’t really matter. Fine with being someone who is only ever in the background of other people’s day.

I'll be your friend. What's up?

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#126

Post by 29athrowaway »

Aurornis wrote: post #88

I developed a bad case of perfectionism-procrastination after working for a toxic boss. It didn't matter how polished our product was, he'd find a way to tear it apart. When he'd have a bad day, he'd start picking apart a random team's product. "Unbelievable!" he'd say in Slack, dropping a screen recording of the app that showed something we were supposed to be embarrassed about. It could be that the app took 3 secon…

1. Use a issue tracker to report issues. If a ticket doesn't exist, create it.

2. Stick to the facts: what happened, and what should have happened instead? Remove all the noise such as blame, emotional reactions, etc. Less drama, more clarity.

3. If the root cause is something dumb such as the hotel WiFi, close the ticket as "can't reproduce" and add an explanation.

You can avoid reading the text, then use a LLM prompt such as: "Can you rephrase this removing all emotional reactions and extracting only the parts that relate to reproduction steps".

Do not waste energy on toxic people. You are not a therapist, an emotional support animal, a sandbag or a doormat. You are a software engineer.

Unless you are getting rich you should avoid working there.

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#127

Post by motohagiography »

pessimizer wrote: post #120
motohagiography wrote: post #119

Life is harsh, sure, but "perfectionism," is a terrible and over-freighted word for someone stuck in a double bind and suffering as the result of it. Consider the situations from which someone might acquire a pathological fear of some kinds criticism. A huge likelihood is that as the result of submitting to uncertainty they have been: - personally abused and shamed - made the object of sadism or cruelty - humiliated…

I don't understand the purpose of taking a good word "perfectionism" for a pathological fear of criticism and rejection, and replacing it with a random incomplete list of things that might have caused a pathological fear of criticism and rejection.

If you consider what the perfectionism is the effect of, it's easier to unwind than just saying, "oh, you're in a hole, you should stop being in a hole."

Describing anything as an 'ism' is a thought terminating judgment of it, and not a meaningful abstraction for it that yields information about what it might be caused by.

This article might help your understanding as it talks about what concrete thinking is and how to recognize it: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-and-psychopat...

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#128

Post by mynameisnoone »

It's also easy to conflate perfectionism with excellence to rationalize shit work. Excellence is ships good shit but doesn't waste time on unreasonable shit or analysis paralysis. Experimentation, learning, and multiple iterations allow improvements to eventually reach a satisficing threshold good enough to ship.

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#129

Post by metabagel »

Aurornis wrote: post #88

I developed a bad case of perfectionism-procrastination after working for a toxic boss. It didn't matter how polished our product was, he'd find a way to tear it apart. When he'd have a bad day, he'd start picking apart a random team's product. "Unbelievable!" he'd say in Slack, dropping a screen recording of the app that showed something we were supposed to be embarrassed about. It could be that the app took 3 secon…

Be proud of yourself for surviving that toxic environment and eventually recognizing and overcoming the negative effects it had on your own performance and behavior. You’re a survivor!

Re: Procrastination is connected to perfectionism

#130

Post by sylware »

diggan wrote: post #47
rrr_oh_man wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You piqued my interest: What’s private open source?

I'm guessing it's referring to the "corporate open source" ecosystem where Google and similar companies make code public but everything else is closed. There is no collaboration, no public roadmaps, no influence given to the community and such. Not sure it's a vital distinction, for me both are as public/private as the other, but that's the only meaning I could try to extract from that...

Also, open source, legally, does concern the relationship between the user of the code and its author, and it is not required to be public at all.

Open source works more than fine with defence stuff, actually would be a requirement...

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