Pick your job over your kids, don't be surprised when they pick the cheap nursing home for you.
Just like that old Harry Chapin song.
I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
211–220 of 358 posts
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#212I made the opposite choice. I'm a single father and I've prioritised my children over my career. I'm not going to pretend it's an amazing lifestyle. If you're intellectually driven then looking after two young children isn't fascinating. However, I love them and they rely on me. I made a choice to bring them into the world and I'm not going to neglect them. I have the kids more than their mother does, and I also pay…
>If you're intellectually driven then looking after two young children isn't fascinating. I've never understood this viewpoint - children are simply the most fascinating things! They're born with next to no inborn knowledge and yet have the potential to learn about quantum mechanics. Someone with the same potential would only have learned about fire some hundred thousands of years ago. In the early days you get to se…
That happens like 10% of the time if you are lucky.
Rest of it can be kinda monotonous? Like, getting my daughter from bed through breakfast, dressing up, and walking to kindergarten. Or getting her to walk all the way to her friends house for a play date. Or getting her dinner, showered, and to bed ...
I still like it, but the day to day is stressful and monotonous
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#213Few days ago I saw something about “Men’s rights” movement and my first reaction was to think of it as parody and laugh it off. But then I looked at few stories and videos and it was eye opening. Many people don’t understand how badly some of the men are being exploited and even driven to suicide. Current laws in Western world are heavily tilted towards perceiving men as guilty party, someone who must always be makin…
IMO there's nothing wrong with Men's Rights as a cause, but if you look at, for example, /r/mensrights on Reddit an absolutely toxic hatred of women pervades the place. It's not healthy. But yes, suicide, custody in divorce etc are issues where men deserve recourse. That said, historically women have been on the receiving end of physical violence from men far, far more often than vice versa and were told to suffer in…
> That said, historically women have been on the receiving end of physical violence from men far, far more often than vice versa and were told to suffer in silence
Statistically, this is not true. In relationships where there is one-sided violence, the violence is (something like) 70/30 with the woman initiating the violence. In relationships where there is two-sided violence, the woman initiates the violence more than half of the time. These studies are hard to find and often have no funding because they get shouted out of the mainstream consciousness.
Here is a study that covers part of this: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/
Ask yourself why you've never heard of it.
If you are speaking historically, surely you are not suggesting incarceration of men as reparations for things we didn't do?
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#214I made the opposite choice. I'm a single father and I've prioritised my children over my career. I'm not going to pretend it's an amazing lifestyle. If you're intellectually driven then looking after two young children isn't fascinating. However, I love them and they rely on me. I made a choice to bring them into the world and I'm not going to neglect them. I have the kids more than their mother does, and I also pay…
I can’t avoid thinking that if a man were to acknowledge things like those on this article, the story would have a far more negative feedback.
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#215Kids are not kids forever. People feel like they have infinite time when they are young/in their prime. They don't and it is too late by the time the realization dawns in. By then, they have grown and moved out and that work which feels so intellectually stimulating/meaningful now does not necessarily feel the same way then.
I love programming and that is why I got into my choice of career. However, that program I spent so much time writing/crafting, at the expense of family time, will be obsolete/decomissioned before long. Hell even I won't care about it after a while.
The kids are not going to be decommissioned though. If we don't care about them now, they don't have any obligation to care about us then.
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#216I made the opposite choice. I'm a single father and I've prioritised my children over my career. I'm not going to pretend it's an amazing lifestyle. If you're intellectually driven then looking after two young children isn't fascinating. However, I love them and they rely on me. I made a choice to bring them into the world and I'm not going to neglect them. I have the kids more than their mother does, and I also pay…
Same bro, same. I feel you.
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#217Kids are not kids forever. People feel like they have infinite time when they are young/in their prime. They don't and it is too late by the time the realization dawns in. By then, they have grown and moved out and that work which feels so intellectually stimulating/meaningful now does not necessarily feel the same way then. I love programming and that is why I got into my choice of career. However, that program I sp…
> If we don't care about them now, they don't have any obligation to care about us then.
They don't have such an obligation in any case.
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#218Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I think if you looked at the early years of feminism, you would a similar hatred of men. I'd be fascinated to see a historical account of that. Many suffragettes (including the founder Emmeline Pankhurst) were married. Perhaps they all hated their husbands, but I'd be interested to know more. > Arguing about who has it "worse" is probably counterproductive now. It's kind of unavoidable, though. Encouraging women to…
> I'd be fascinated to see a historical account of that. Well, not a hard-source, but having been alive in the 90's most women didn't consider themselves feminists in the 90s. And if pressed they'd say things like "I believe in equality but I wouldn't call myself a feminist." Anecdotally, there was a perception that those who most loudly and immediately identified themselves as "feminist" (not unlike those who most l…
Maybe because there was oppression/unfairness everywhere? Where not being sexually assaulted at work was a
rare privilege?
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#219Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#220Few days ago I saw something about “Men’s rights” movement and my first reaction was to think of it as parody and laugh it off. But then I looked at few stories and videos and it was eye opening. Many people don’t understand how badly some of the men are being exploited and even driven to suicide. Current laws in Western world are heavily tilted towards perceiving men as guilty party, someone who must always be makin…
IMO there's nothing wrong with Men's Rights as a cause, but if you look at, for example, /r/mensrights on Reddit an absolutely toxic hatred of women pervades the place. It's not healthy. But yes, suicide, custody in divorce etc are issues where men deserve recourse. That said, historically women have been on the receiving end of physical violence from men far, far more often than vice versa and were told to suffer in…
Generally agree with you. However, I don't think "overcorrected" is the right term for issues around childcare and family dynamics.
The idea that women are always better caretakers is something most feminist theorists would call "benevolent sexism". It has some advantages for women, but it also hurts them in the workplace, and promotes unreasonable divisions of labor in private life.