Earlier quoted context omitted.
Now that many new cars are coming with have high-def wide-angle rear view cameras, I don't really need my neck muscles anymore. At some point we'll "evolve" to rocks... rocks with wifi.
That reminds me of a TED talk I saw where the speaker was saying that something he's noticed with a lot of academics and tech types is that they only care about flexing their mental muscles; their bodies are only useful for moving their brain from one place to another, so a lot of what they build is done to make it so they have to use their bodies less.
Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young
211–220 of 234 posts
Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young
#212Have you seen the movie "Shawshank Redemption"? It makes an interesting point about becoming institutionalized. There was an inmate that was released after ~50 years,he committed suicide because he couldn't adopt to living outside of the prison system. What they call the loneliness epidemic these days is a bit like that. In fact,I would say loneliness is social imprisonment. For one reason or the other individuals en…
This is very true and I see it even in myself. I used to have several friends where I live and they subsequently all moved away. Now I have no real friends here and the work required to get more seems to require a huge activation energy to get over. Sure I could go out and have random conversations with people or join clubs, but very few of those are going to result in anything interesting; of those, a few may result…
Have/had a similar issue. Many of the good friends I made in this city over the past years have moved, specifically to the more popular ones in Canada. Trying to rebuild that circle hasn’t worked out. I either run into acquisition problems like you or the relationships that do turn into something more end up ending due to them leaving the city as well.
At this point I’ve resigned to believing that the types of people I attract don’t want to stay here, and maybe I should just follow the herd.
Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young
#213Earlier quoted context omitted.
Maybe there are other things around worth thinking? I can think of plenty ... that keeps my brain from becomming a lazy pile of grey cells.
I think AI tends to be a race to the bottom due to human nature. If one isn't paying attention (and most people aren't), all youtube video recommendations lead to things like mindless fail-videos.
Not really want to defend the algorithms here,(I also don't know what videos exactly show up as I am not so into it) but fail videos can be funny. Humor is a sign of intelligence. I would not declare it to be the bottom if it ...
For it to work, your brain needs to recognize the activity and how it is supposed to work the proper way, so you can laugh about the wrong way done. And also learn about how to not do it like this. And simply relax and let go. Needed for the brain from time to time
(but like I said, I also have not seen those videos in a while.. and I like hikes in wild nature for relaxation)
Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young
#214Earlier quoted context omitted.
I am happily married now of course but when I tried online dating years ago, I remember that many women were hyperspecific about what they wanted in terms of minimum height and minimum income and even make of car in a potential partner. This was written in their profiles. The population of 6-foot-plus BMW driving 6-figures earning men on online dating was probably much, much smaller than the horde of women who would…
I suppose I could get a stupid BMW and hit all the desirable points you list, but I doubt it would help. In fact I'm sure it wouldn't. But you aren't kidding about women's preferences on dating sites. They can actually go on and on and on, sometimes numbering fifty or sixty necessary traits. By contrast, what does a man want? Aside from political men who need a competent hostess, I think just about every man wants: 1…
They can actually go on and on and on, sometimes numbering fifty or sixty necessary traits.
I never saw as many as that myself but a dozen or more wouldn’t be unusual. A few might be reasonable such as “must love dogs” but nearly all would be materialistic, or physical traits that no one has any control over. I imagine the authors of these elaborate lists also complain bitterly to anyone who’ll listen that “there are no decent men”.
And I never, ever saw a man list the bra size or handbag brand his match should have...
Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young
#215Earlier quoted context omitted.
It doesn't make any sense to blame technology. Believe it or not there are plenty of other cultures that have access to the same technology but don't produce the extreme isolation that's common in the US. There's much more powerful forces at work here than online banking and ecommerce. The reality is that in the US and likely the UK traditional social networks and graces have disintegrated. It's a cultural issue whic…
Indeed. Studies are only finding moderate correlations of loneliness and technology use. The variables with the largest regression coefficients predicting loneliness in this study [0], were poor neighborhood safety (.61), being single (.47, even with children .50). Being married most strongly protected against loneliness (−.42). I'd bet modern day loneliness is mostly caused by an interplay globalization/automation,…
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Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young
#216Earlier quoted context omitted.
As someone with moderate/severe social anxiety, the idea of not having it seems just crazy to me.
How much of your anxiety boils down to just not feeling confident about the appropriate actions to take or words to say in social situations? That's something that can be remedied for anyone with a little focused education.
I can handle myself socially, and have been told I’m very gregarious and easy to be around and talk to. I just always think about the absolute worst case and long chains of events that might happen from my input. Combative or argumentative situations are the worst, especially in lower trust situations.
In a way, it boils down to “not feeling confident about words I say”, but the problem is I seem to overvalue bad outcomes, or at least think about them deeply rather than assume the very likely path will happen. Some of it is lack of a quick-witted theory of mind mapped to others (asd, add, who knows) and some is past trauma where many people I knew growing up did a lot of hurtful things. The weights on how must one feels they can trust the average person are very slow to change - and the what-ifs seem to come on nearly automatically.
Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young
#217Earlier quoted context omitted.
It doesn't make any sense to blame technology. Believe it or not there are plenty of other cultures that have access to the same technology but don't produce the extreme isolation that's common in the US. There's much more powerful forces at work here than online banking and ecommerce. The reality is that in the US and likely the UK traditional social networks and graces have disintegrated. It's a cultural issue whic…
Indeed. Studies are only finding moderate correlations of loneliness and technology use. The variables with the largest regression coefficients predicting loneliness in this study [0], were poor neighborhood safety (.61), being single (.47, even with children .50). Being married most strongly protected against loneliness (−.42). I'd bet modern day loneliness is mostly caused by an interplay globalization/automation,…
Exploring datasets from http://next.nomics.world, I'm finding no link between gender equality and population density adjusted loneliness. But, removing outliers with excessive loneliness for their population densities (MT, CZ), I'm getting a moderate correlation (.4) between gender inequality index and male loneliness (male to female loneliness ratio among 24 to 34 year olds), so my model might explain male loneliness in particular. Haven't looked into the other factors I've conjectured.
Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young
#218Moving to NYC saved my life. I was depressed, lonely, insecure, and starving socially. When I got here, I discovered a city of people who were earnest, open to meeting others, and happy to welcome me into their lives. What makes this city so great for people like me is that it forces you to both strive for better and not take yourself so seriously (because no one fucking cares). It's a city full of selfish, caring, h…
Agree with others - some more details or examples would be great. As someone who's been in exactly that kind of rut for years, I would seriously consider dropping everything and moving somewhere like this.
If you can afford it, do it. There are so many people in such a small space that as long as you're willing to put yourself out there you're bound to inevitably meet others you click with. It's ultimately a numbers game and I'd say NYC in particular is inherently a very social place so I'd put it at the top of your list. Good luck!
Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young
#219I've watched Friends last year for the first time in my life and it was shocking to me, among other 90s things, how everyone is dating left and right, one after another as if they were in a race or something. I don't know your social circle but in mine, currently it's quite the opposite. I observe that less and less people go out/date/interact with each other socially, which is sad.
In NYC, even the most "undatable" can still have a busy dating calendar.
Same in Seattle. There are people from all walks of life, genders, anything.
Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young
#220There's no indication in this short write up if they also surveyed how often people get out. I think it'd be a likely hypothesis that people today do hang out more with friends, simply because it is easier. Remember the 90s? You're waiting in a parking lot to go caving. "Where's Will?" "I don't know." "Call his house, there's a payphone over there." "His mom said he left 30 minutes ago." "Well I guess we'll just wait…
Remember the '90s when you made plans and everyone actually showed up instead of cancelling at the last minute because there wasn't any way to do that? Before everyone had a cell phone we didn't need to "make plans" every time we wanted to hang out. Hanging out with friends was just what you did.
On Facebook events maybe means no and yes means “unless I get a better offer”. The RSVP there is completely useless.