Live data from Hacker News

Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young

economist.com

161–170 of 234 posts

Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young

#161

Another thing I wondered about is the impact of automation and volatility on, for lack of a better word 'involuntary' micro social interactions. Until fairly recently people had 'forced' social interactions when doing their finances, shopping etc. Even if involuntary they 'trained' people's social skills and withered away at their acquired/innate social anxiety. Furthermore, even in these situations the persons you i…

I agree with most of your points but part of this bit is incorrect: > Even if involuntary they 'trained' people's social skills and withered away at their acquired/innate social anxiety. Humans don't have a shred of innate social anxiety except perhaps in some odd pathological cases. Any parent who has dealt with a toddler that has yet to learn to talk will tell you that much. Toddlers who can't speak yet try very ha…

As someone with moderate/severe social anxiety, the idea of not having it seems just crazy to me.

Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young

#162
post #121

The real culprit, IMO, is the automobile. By allowing people travel further, the frequency your life overlaps with other individuals' decreases exponentially. Relationships with strangers are much easier to start with familiarity. I'd like cities to be planned foremost with walkability in mind.

I would have thought that we've lived in a car-centric culture for generations now, though. How would cars explain why loneliness and isolation have risen just recently?

Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young

#163

My opinion is that likely mostly impacts men. I see men struggling to find women to date (and the opposite for women, too many men to pick from). The internet and apps have made the dating market very difficult for men in general. Women literally have 100's or 1000's of choices at any given time while men will struggle to have a single option. There are just more men now than ever it seems, and it's really exaggerate…

For people between 25 and 54, in America, there are almost exactly as many men as women, to within less than one percent. [0] So if you see more men than women around you, that's a filter bubble that you've artificially put yourself in. Therefore the converse must be that there are many other places in America where there are more women than men. So go out, socialize, get away from your bubble, and meet other people.…

> For people between 25 and 54, in America, there are almost exactly as many men as women, to within less than one percent

Even if true, this means nothing w.r.t. men struggling to find women. Like with most other things in life, a few good (looking) men, rich men, charismatic men disproportionately (get to) date several women, whereas most (,not all) women tend to be loyal to 1 guy [1], so that leaves a lot of men with no potential mate...

Natural selection at it's finest.

[1] Because society says that if a man has many women, he is a 'Casanova' / 'Player' whereas if a woman has many men, she's labelled a 'Hoe' / 'Bimbo'. So women, even if they desire to be with more than 1 man at a time, either suppress it, or do it very discretely.

Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young

#164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with most of your points but part of this bit is incorrect: > Even if involuntary they 'trained' people's social skills and withered away at their acquired/innate social anxiety. Humans don't have a shred of innate social anxiety except perhaps in some odd pathological cases. Any parent who has dealt with a toddler that has yet to learn to talk will tell you that much. Toddlers who can't speak yet try very ha…

As someone with moderate/severe social anxiety, the idea of not having it seems just crazy to me.

How much of your anxiety boils down to just not feeling confident about the appropriate actions to take or words to say in social situations? That's something that can be remedied for anyone with a little focused education.

Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young

#165

I've watched Friends last year for the first time in my life and it was shocking to me, among other 90s things, how everyone is dating left and right, one after another as if they were in a race or something. I don't know your social circle but in mine, currently it's quite the opposite. I observe that less and less people go out/date/interact with each other socially, which is sad.

Go back half a step to Seinfeld and consider the dating life of "the perpetual loser" of the show, George Costanza. You could go full Rodgers thinking, "Well this guy is dating chicks left and right whereas I can't even get the time of day".

But you just remember the MST3K advice: "Just repeat to yourself, it's just a show. I should really just relax."

It's a hyper-idealized version of reality intended to highlight ridiculous situations, not an accurate representation of life.

Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young

#166
post #22
post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How many non founders do you have?

Everyone is running their own show in some capacity. Startups to billion dollar brands.

I think they were going for an absolute number, not a percent.

Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young

#167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How is that even possible?

The website only looks at cities, not at all areas where people live. Simple solution: singles in rural/suburban areas skew female.

Brb starting a tech bros -> rural chicks dating website

Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young

#168

My opinion is that likely mostly impacts men. I see men struggling to find women to date (and the opposite for women, too many men to pick from). The internet and apps have made the dating market very difficult for men in general. Women literally have 100's or 1000's of choices at any given time while men will struggle to have a single option. There are just more men now than ever it seems, and it's really exaggerate…

I am happily married now of course but when I tried online dating years ago, I remember that many women were hyperspecific about what they wanted in terms of minimum height and minimum income and even make of car in a potential partner. This was written in their profiles. The population of 6-foot-plus BMW driving 6-figures earning men on online dating was probably much, much smaller than the horde of women who would settle for nothing else!

When checking out the norms for men when writing my own profile I never saw any men as detailed about their physical requirements, interestingly.

Re: Loneliness is pervasive and rising, particularly among the young

#170

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have similar worries about AI. Example: I never let computer programs reply for me by clicking pre-written responses to emails or messages. The designers of those products are making the mistake that the less you have to think about things the better, but I think that you have to use your brain or you will lose it. Even those simple routine tasks (like talking to a bank teller for three minutes) provide essential c…

Maybe there are other things around worth thinking? I can think of plenty ... that keeps my brain from becomming a lazy pile of grey cells.

I think AI tends to be a race to the bottom due to human nature. If one isn't paying attention (and most people aren't), all youtube video recommendations lead to things like mindless fail-videos.
Post reply on HN