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People start hating their jobs at 35

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Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#211

Post by wernsey »

wernsey wrote: post #197
jerf wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, I look at history and my ancestors, and am grateful that merely 2/3rds of my life is not "part of my purpose". Plus I don't actually hate work, even if it's not what I would be doing of my own accord, nor would I say it's entirely bereft of purpose. It feeds my family, fairly well all things considered, and I work in a part of the industry that is about protecting people and defending them, rather than abusing…

I won't know where to find it again, but I came across an article the other day that mentioned that a big reason why modern people have midlife crises is because we live longer. Our ancestors worked themselves to death (in the sense that they died before what we'd consider retirement age) and didn't have to worry about finding meaning outside of work.

@FranzFerdiNaN, who I can't seem to reply to directly, yes, you are right. I might've missed the point of the article I was referring to.

People today has more free time to ponder things like the meaning of life and has potentially a lot of time after retirement, and I think that is part of what makes people think differently about their careers once they reach 35.

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#212

Post by cool-RR »

vfc1 wrote: post #24

I think its because through experience people have figured out a lot of unspoken things about what its really like being an employee. They have figured out that its much more about connections and office politics than hard work. They have figured out that there is really no job security, and they could be one layoff wave away from unemployment. They have figured out that its much more about face time and spending lon…

> They have figured out that its much more about connections and office politics than hard work.

Maintaining relationships with different kinds of people is work. It's hard and meaningful work.

> They have figured out that there is really no job security, and they could be one layoff wave away from unemployment.

There most definitely is job security. Some people have lots of it, some have very little. There is no 100% job security, if that's what you were hoping for.

> They have figured out that its much more about face time and spending long hours at work rather than actually being productive.

Again, spending time with people in a social environment is a meaningful thing to do with one's life.

> They have figured out that the majority of their work, to their surprise is not actually that important or necessary.

It's not surprising that the majority of the product / code is not that important or necessary. If you are a good teammate, you might be an important or necessary part in your teammates daily lives.

> They have figured out that its important not to take too much vacations, because its an opportunity to loose the little work they have to someone else.

"many", "lose", "it's". I'm pretty close with my teammates, and I've never heard of any of them giving up any of their vacation time to get respect from our boss.

> They have figured out that they are never going to get payed the true value of their work, and that is almost the definition of being an employee.

I think that you if you'll try to give a definition of what you call "true value", it could be reduced to an absurdity.

> They have figured out that its all a system of serventry not too different from the medieval relation between master and servant.

I wish every person that said that would get to spend a couple of weeks as an actual slave, and would then report on their impressions.

> They have figured out that its a system that they are being grinded through and discarded, and that they are condemned for life to making someone else rich, never getting a chance to trully fulfill their dreams and ambitions.

Anyone wants to take on this one?

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#213

Post by CaptSpify »

I've started to wonder if we're hitting a stage in society where we need to embrace the "mid-life crisis" as a normal stage of development, rather than as a problem.

I personally would love if we had better systems in place to help people shift careers when they felt that their current one wasn't what they wanted. It seems to me that asking a 20 year old which career they are going to love for the next ~40 years is a bit absurd.

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#214

Post by hawkesnest »

wernsey wrote: post #116
fallingfrog wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Couldn't have put it better. At some point you realize that as far as your company is concerned, you're just human capital. And, most likely when you leave to get a new job, nobody is going to notice all the good work you did, or care who you were. And it's not you that's going to get rich off all that work.

A "human resource". I always found that term to imply that we're just meat for the meat grinder.

I've berated more than one manager over calling a human being a "resource" in a meeting. Electricity, hardware, furniture, office space, and the like are resources. you might get away with calling people "talent", but not "resource."

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#215

Post by dragonwriter »

hawkesnest wrote: post #214
wernsey wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A "human resource". I always found that term to imply that we're just meat for the meat grinder.

I've berated more than one manager over calling a human being a "resource" in a meeting. Electricity, hardware, furniture, office space, and the like are resources. you might get away with calling people "talent", but not "resource."

> I've berated more than one manager over calling a human being a "resource" in a meeting

As long as your organization has an HR department (with that name), that battle has been lost on the organizational level and haranguing individual managers isn't going to accomplish much.

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#216

Post by gglitch »

fecak wrote: post #134

I write resumes for a living and coach on job search strategy (former recruiter as well), so I talk to several people a day who dislike their jobs enough to be looking for new ones. In your 20s everything is new and most people are learning all the time, and wages are consistently increasing. Often you are working to pay off debt, doing things you'd rather not be doing because you have to. You're too busy hustling to…

If you develop these thoughts further, let us know. I'd read them.

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#217

Post by techiferous »

vfc1 wrote: post #24

I think its because through experience people have figured out a lot of unspoken things about what its really like being an employee. They have figured out that its much more about connections and office politics than hard work. They have figured out that there is really no job security, and they could be one layoff wave away from unemployment. They have figured out that its much more about face time and spending lon…

Such a powerless attitude. And these things are presented as if they are objective truths that one day programmers will eventually "figure out" rather than a subjective, and very disempowering, perspective.

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#218

Post by m-i-l »

Radim wrote: post #200
albertgoeswoof wrote: post #178

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I dunno, money talks

For a short while, maybe. "Excellent talent" means a strong inner drive, it takes something like an obsession to put in the grind to get there. The feeling of contributing and creating and playfulness and attacking new frontiers is non-negotiable. You lose it, you're no longer "excellent talent". No money can replace that (though life circumstances may force a detour — that's why it's almost a tautology, but not quit…

There could be cases where exceptional talent is kept motivated on exciting cutting edge projects, but those projects don't "contribute to the bottom line", either because the project is canned or doesn't generate enough profits (or cut enough costs) or some other reason. The chances are that these cases wouldn't be an intentional waste of talent, but if you've been around a while you sometimes start to wonder.

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#219

Post by 1996 »

typon wrote: post #123
grecy wrote: post #4

I can't stress this enough - if you're not happy with life, and you feel like you aren't moving closer to your goals and dreams, make a change!!! I realized that sitting at my desk for 30 years to pay for a house was not what I wanted to do, so I quit my job and have been driving around Africa for 2 years[1]. I dreamed for years of being a travel writer and photographer, and I am making that dream come true! I now wr…

So I should stop supporting my old parents by paying for their rent/expenses and move somewhere else because I'm currently not following my dreams? Some people don't have the luxury of being selfish.

s/luxury/guts/g

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#220

Post by FlipperBucket »

xevb3k wrote: post #107
jasonkester wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Indeed. But we're discussing this here, with the audience you describe making up nearly all of us, so I didn't feel the need to add that caveat. So yeah, go us. Our gig gets better over time, while it appears that others don't.

The employment bubble you describe really only exists in the Bay Area. The majority of users on HN are not in the Bay Area: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3298905 People 35 and over, are somewhat likely to have families and find it difficult to relocate.

Seattle and almost anywhere in Southern California are also fantastic areas.
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