I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

[citation needed]

Here's some nonsense I just made up:

"Christians and other devout believers in a purely spiritual reality are pretty susceptible to things like alcoholism and becoming atheists."

See how easy it is!

>I bet half of these atheist middle class kids running amock on Reddit are married and church-going by the time they hit 40. As soon as their own mortality starts catching up with them they'll have questions that image memes and front-end frameworks just won't answer.

Oh cute, the old "there are no atheist in foxholes" argument. Oh and it's gotta be church-going, you know Christan. My husband was shot at plus watched two friends die in Iraq and still remains an atheist.

>If you're in tech and you're feeling the lonely, empty void, well, for fucks sake, that's what the entire industry is banking on the future being like.

Um, no.

>AA is very effective.

[citation needed]

Can it work for some people? Yes. Is it effective as a whole for everyone? No. Is it better than other treatments? Probably not.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7488106

>People need spiritual lives

No, some people need a spiritual life, not all people. I certainly don't.

The rest of your comment didn't make any sense to me.

If you want to do it yourself (not recommended), the first step is usually to notice patterns in your behavior - what do you try to avoid, when do you fall into addictions, etc. Also compare that to what other successful people do - do you find that some things are trivial and no big deal to other people, but cause you to turn into a blubbering mess? You're looking for intense anxiety here, which is why this is so difficult to do yourself - most people instinctively shy away from things that make them anxious, but here you have to deliberately seek them out.

Then, once you've got a clue to where the problem might be, you're looking for a thought that seems to skitter away every time you think of it. For example, I had an issue with needing to be certain about everything, and everything needing to be cut & dried facts. The idea that I may not be perfect, that there were some things I didn't know and never would know, was completely anathema to me. So every time I found myself in such a situation, I'd immediately try to force certainty, either by learning as much as I could and jumping to a conclusion, or by avoiding the situation entirely. When I tried to hold the idea of not being perfect in my head, my psyche would rebel, and thoughts would pop into my head like "That's for weaker minds. I wouldn't be myself if I didn't know everything."

Once you've got the thought that always tries to skitter away, hold onto it and face it directly, no matter how much your consciousness rebels. Usually they'll be some sort of intense emotional reaction - you'll start crying, or you'll want to punch something, or you'll feel like your life is ending. That's why movie dramas (eg. Good Will Hunting) often have some teary scene at the therapist's office. Naturally, you will probably want to be in a safe, private place for this.

You'll want to hold onto that thought until you feel completely spent - it doesn't actually take long once you've IDed the issue (20 minutes to an hour is my experience), but it's exhausting. You should feel "lighter" afterwards though, like your body has been through rough exercise but your mind is freer and no longer weighed down by whatever was troubling you.

Good luck. It's much easier with a trained therapist - or actually, I wouldn't say easier in the sense of "less painful", but you spin your wheels less on false theories about why you are the way that you are.

Exercise routines are also helpful (again, if I do not get bored/distracted 5 mins into it... meaning I have to go somewhere where I can only do activity x. Like the climbing gym, or a martial arts class.

Drugs are not easier at all. Like I said, it's still walking a tight-rope. Also like is being pointed out, brains are differently. I do not get the paranoia from 14+ years of Cannabis use, most people develop it after so much time, or have 0 tolerance and get it from occasional use.

And like I stated, it just puts me in a mode of "focus on one thing". It still doesn't want me to actually start doing something I have to, but I don't get distracted too much from what I'm doing.

So YMMV.. as always. I'd promote regular exercise and routines like you mentioned to start with. You should really look into L-Theanine however. Exp if you drink coffee. It takes off the edginess off caffeine (or any stimulant), while you still get the mental stimulus (focus). When I drink a whole pot of green tea, which contains a good amount of caffeine, my heart rate is even more relaxed than normal.

What is effective about twelve step programs is the support network you build. It's important to have friends you can call on when you're thinking of going to the bar, or just want to take a walk or try something new.