I think I might have permanently damaged my vision with that #FFF on #000 color scheme. I still see text floating in the air.
fuck that color scheme holy
How to make a friend fast
201–210 of 260 posts
Re: How to make a friend fast
#202I think I might have permanently damaged my vision with that #FFF on #000 color scheme. I still see text floating in the air.
fuck that color scheme holy
Re: How to make a friend fast
#203Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality ( http://www.hpmor.com ), Chapter 7: """ Draco giggled. "Yeah, right. Anyway... to answer what you asked..." Draco took a deep breath, and his face turned serious. "Father once missed a Wizengamot vote for me. I was on a broom and I fell off and broke a lot of ribs. It really hurt. I'd never hurt that much before and I thought I was going to die. So Father missed this reall…
First thing that came to my head! Got linked this fanfic on hackaday ~5 days ago and could not stop reading despite not being a Potter fan.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#204Maybe it's because I find this research area intriguing, but I did not think that this summary adequately captured the efforts of the original paper [0]. I think it was unfortunate that this piece did not begin by conveying that the original study's authors specifically state their goal "was to develop a temporary feeling of closeness, not an actual ongoing relationship". Additionally, like many social psychology stu…
>I think it was unfortunate that this piece did not begin by conveying that the original study's authors specifically state their goal Except that they began the piece by conveying exactly that: >But it's a far stretch to say that such an accomplishment truly creates reliably long-lasting relationships, regardless of the immense immediate effect.
What seems to be missing is actually mentioning that it was the opinion of the original authors, as well.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#205Maybe it's because I find this research area intriguing, but I did not think that this summary adequately captured the efforts of the original paper [0]. I think it was unfortunate that this piece did not begin by conveying that the original study's authors specifically state their goal "was to develop a temporary feeling of closeness, not an actual ongoing relationship". Additionally, like many social psychology stu…
>I think it was unfortunate that this piece did not begin by conveying that the original study's authors specifically state their goal Except that they began the piece by conveying exactly that: >But it's a far stretch to say that such an accomplishment truly creates reliably long-lasting relationships, regardless of the immense immediate effect.
That sentence says nothing about the goal of the study's authors.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#206Earlier quoted context omitted.
It sounds like you just have a thing against explicitly planning the process of making friends.
No. I just have had very strong, close relationships throughout my life. Talking to someone for a mere 45 minutes is not a big flipping deal. See: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14732892
> Talking to someone for a mere 45 minutes is not a big flipping deal.
It's a big flipping deal to a lot of people; don't presume everyone is you.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#207Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I cut them because they stopped growing after or during highschool. When I talk about politics or society I don't want to feel constrained. I don't want to have to explain things like the catch up effect. I don't want come over with an expensive scotch and have people mix it with Coca Cola. What you care about is class, not wealth. It's a learned set of knowledge, behaviors, and taste that's very hard to fake or ch…
> What you care about is class, not wealth. It's a learned set of knowledge, behaviors, and taste that's very hard to fake or change past childhood. And it's also superficial. One can have "class" and be a class-A a-hole.
Sure. A lack of grace when navigating class differences (=differences in behavior and preferences) could also be seen as a class marker, among other things. Feels rather "middle" under Fussell's rankings of class, but then that's where he put most boorish behavior (maybe for a good reason) and his treatment was too broad to allow for much nuance or coverage of sub-classes, tending to treat the latter as mostly people whose wealth didn't match their socialized class (again, maybe for good reason). Though maybe this whole thing was just your average, everyday "growing apart" with a bit more self-awareness and honesty about the causes than is typical. Maybe the parting from friendship was handled tactfully. Difficult to judge someone just from a post on a web forum.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#208Not sure I agree that "agreement on important issues" should be on the "things that don't matter" section.
I know that stuff in particular matters big time to me, even just for friends. My closest friends tend to see the world very similarly to me than people I am much less close with. In fact, more often than not I end up pruning out the people that think drastically differently than I do. Most of the time this just happens naturally because I tend to be more wary about what I say and talk about once I know someone is extremely different than me. My spidey sense puts me on high alert and I basically enter a super-PC, "what every word that comes out of your mouth" mode. Occasionally, I deliberately reduce interactions and they go from being a close friend to being just a casual friend or acquaintance.
Re: How to make a friend fast
#209Makes enough sense to me... If you don't know anything about anybody... like the homeless man rummaging through my recycling bin right now looking for bottles... It's easy to look down on them or just write them off. But if a neighbour told me anything about that same man... perhaps that he lost his job last year and thus just tries to supplement his income by picking up bottles in his spare time... I would feel imme…
Lack of resources can make the kindest, most altruistic person behave in extremely ugly, selfish ways. You don't know who someone is until you see them go through poverty. Also, you don't know who you are yourself until you experience that terrible feeling of scarcity. For me, greed is the worst human attribute. When I see rich people being greedy, I find it hard to imagine how much worse they would be as human being…
When I see rich people being greedy, I find it hard to imagine how much worse they would be as human beings if they were poor.
They probably are poor, at least from their viewpoint, because humans like to compare themselves against their peers, not against the average person they have nothing to do with.
So rich people compare themselves against other rich people in their social circle and then decide they want to have a little more. It's not greed from their viewpoint, it's "not falling behind".
Re: How to make a friend fast
#210Earlier quoted context omitted.
I guess if you're a cynical person you will look for an "angle" in everything people say or do. Living life like that must be miserable.
Or it's extremely soothing because you're never surprised by anyone's selfish intentions...
I don't see how second-guessing everyone's motivations and looking for hidden motives in every single thing they say or do can be "soothing", but to each his own.