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Why are Adults so busy?

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Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#201

Post by patates »

pps43 wrote: post #185
thebigspacefuck wrote: post #152

I keep catching myself thinking or using the excuse I have no time, but I mostly spend my time on the internet or watching TV. Some nights I do the dishes or actually go for a walk, go grocery shopping, but mostly I'm just hanging on, making sure I'm ready for he next day. I'm freaking addicted to information and the internet, which leave me feeling frantic. I forgo sleeping for the internet and it brings me little p…

> from someone older, who was in the 80s There was the same amount of time, but it was allocated differently. There were phone calls. If somebody calls you on the phone, you stop doing what you're doing and talk to them. Apart from that, time was scheduled in larger chunks, with fever context switches. You watch a movie start to finish, not a bunch of 2 minute Youtube videos. You spend an evening printing photos in t…

What wouldn't I give to have such attention span! I can't even watch a movie these days (months? um, years?). Yesterday I alt-tabbed to chrome and opened HN while hearing the movie that I was in the middle of watching. Yes, I have a PC connected to my TV! What is wrong with me?!

I want to be able to read a non-technical book fully and I can't and I'm very unhappy about this whole situation.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#202

Post by FilterSweep »

qznc wrote: post #136

They are not really busy, but it is one of the best socially-accepted excuses.

I hear this jib all of the time.

One thing the author missed in his, otherwise spot-on calculations, is the fact that after spending a certain amount of time on one task - namely work for most people, marginal hours of "free time" afterwards are actually not "free time" - they're hours spent in mental recovery.

This varies for each person, but you see a recurring theme of people sitting on their couch or in front of their computer just staring at a screen. But their mindless staring is only telling half the story.

Could they possibly just go to sleep? Sure, but waking up at 4AM has even worse implications on the next work day. These people are recovering by doing nothing.

This is why so many of my friends who saved up a nest egg as developers have recently quit their jobs upon hitting quarter-life crisis. All of a sudden, they now have the free time to do other development work they enjoy (often more productively), pursue other hobbies, cook, build/create art, fill up their day with MORE than just the monolith of the work day, and come out feeling "less busy" despite having achieved more than when they were employed.

The work week really is a monolith. Spending over 1/3 of your entire day on this monolith has implications on the other 2/3 of your day.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#203

Post by BlackFly »

Xcelerate wrote: post #190

As someone who just finished grad school, I'm preparing my future for "minimum maintenance" so that way I can have lots of free time for interesting projects. Shopping, cleaning, commuting, and house maintenance are not on my list of interesting projects, so I would like to minimize the time spent doing these things. * Shopping — Don't shop, except for the necessities (and when you need them, buy in bulk). I generall…

I compared my own hours to the ones in the article. I end up with 40 spare hours a week. That feels correct: I have a lot of spare time.

I work 40 hours a week (arrive at 9, leave at 6, with 1 hour for cooking/eating). I am married and it seems that my wife and I evenly split the work between cooking (me) and cleaning (mostly her). We buy groceries together every second day and take about 30 minutes to do so. I spend absolutely no time managing my bills as they are automated and nobody has credit card debt in Europe. I have very few errands. I bike to work for a grand total of 1.7 hours a week which I count as fitness. I go to the gym 3 times a week for a total of about 4.5 hours. We have no children and that is a life decision. I don't spend more than an hour each day grooming/dressing, nor does my wife, what is the author doing? Yes, I sleep 8 hours a day and spend about 10.5 hours eating.

Now, where does the difference come? Well if I worked 60 hours a week I would lose half of my free time, but overworking is really silly. The difference in commute alone gives me nearly an hour a day of extra time to myself compared to the author. Also, if you can enjoy cooking, that is time that is productively spent. So learn to enjoy cooking. You should be enjoying your meals too, so thinking of those hours as cost is a bit sad.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#204

Post by sridca »

agumonkey wrote: post #181
sridca wrote: post #172

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Please tell us more. To decondition oneself out of all of the social conditioning naturally involves giving up both cynicism[1] and pride[2] (they are socialized feelings). [1] Urban Dictionary defines "Tell me more" as an expression of put-down: "When someone say something stupid or simple. It's used to annoy people by asking them to tell you more when the statement is final." http://tell-me-more.urbanup.com/61083…

Ha, I should have been more careful, there was no hidden tone in my previous message. I genuinely wanted to know more about how to, and what are the limits (losing condition is probably not childhood regression either). Do you consider asian philosophy (like buddhism I believe) that takes a contemplative approach on existence, to be childlike (from memories, I used to spend a lot of time contemplating things, lots of…

I find the word 'marvelling' more fitting to describe the childhood experiencing of "lots of things are amazing when you're a kid, stone, river, rain, sky, .." than 'contemplating' because the contemplation of Buddhism is a whole new ball game entirely (I find nothing childlike--much less naive--in withdrawing from the world of senses into a detached reality that forms the essence of meditative practices).

As you want to know more about this topic I'll refer you to: http://actualfreedom.com.au/library/topics/naivete.htm ... and the "method" to deprogram oneself is: http://www.actualfreedom.com.au/richard/articles/thismomento...

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#205

Post by kale »

zaroth wrote: post #193
mholmes680 wrote: post #182

I think one thing here was missed: managing [successful] relationships. I have 2 kids - i have to directly manage a relationship with my wife, with each kid, with both kids, and with my wife and both kids. She has to do the same. I have to indirectly manage a relationship between the two kids, and with the wife and both/each kids. To do it right would mean breaking up those 10 free hours I might have into each of the…

The OP clearly doesn't have kids for how glossed over the point is. Amazing that they come up with just 10 spare hours a week without even really factoring kids into the equation. For those of us who have kids, you just sit back some days and wonder... How little we recognized at the time, the sheer freedom of being able to just head out for dinner or a drink any day of the week, plop down and watch whatever movie we…

Nothing can prepare you for the "crap I can't do anything spontaneous now" like having children. I recently had to let tickets to a concert go (that I was really looking forward to) because the babysitter had a family emergency.

And this is a deep confession that I've never really told anyone: I envy my divorced friends with kids. Every other week they (usually) are child free. And get to do things like mow grass, have a dinner with an SO at a place that doesn't have a built-in playground, or go on weekend trips on a whim. That guaranteed time without children that you get from custody agreements has a ton of perks. I won't admit this out loud, though.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#206

Post by aianus »

csydas wrote: post #69
dazc wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having grown up in the UK I've always felt guilty about not doing anything in my free time. Partly because everyone else seems to be living such a busy and rewarding existence (or so they would have me believe). Now, living in Spain, I feel it's OK not to do anything. Just sitting in the shade for 6 hours watching the world go by doesn't make me a weirdo, like it does back home.

Heh, I've noticed that Western culture does put a different emphasis on work ethics. After moving to Russia, I've just noticed a different approach to how work is perceived, and my partner and her mom have often cited this proverb at me: Работа не волк - в лес не убежит. Work is not a wolf, it will not run to the forest. Basically, the idea is work isn't going anywhere, so no need to worry that much about it. At my l…

That's not the inverse, it's the contrapositive. The inverse would be "busy people are important".

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#208

Post by Retric »

pc86 wrote: post #200
Retric wrote: post #196

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The internet on your phone is kind of uniquely addictive. You can basically replace any downtime with playing on your phone. The sad thing is it can jump into the middle of any activity. Getting lunch, wait one second text message which you need to respond to right now.

I think it's rarely that you actually need to respond to any text message immediately.

In theory you're right. However, the expectation is someone will respond with ~"Thx, in meeting" unlike a phone where you may just let it go to voicemail, there is no message failed to get though feedback.

So, you get sent a text and people will generally assume you are ignoring them unless you respond.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#209

Post by shandor »

kentt wrote: post #199

Since the article didn't answer the question of why, I'll submit a partial answer. People put a minimal value on their free time and so it gets sucked up with things of minimal value. One place I've noticed this in that placing a high value on my own time comes off as self-important. As well, wondering why colleagues aren't placing a high value on their time, leave me bewildered. Just the other day, a friend was show…

Oh my god yes. I generally put a price tag on everything I do. Depending on ones salary it might be anything from 20 to 300 per hour. Then, if I see myself "making a loss" according to that calculation, I start paying for someone else to do the thing. Or, like in your gas example, definitely fill up on my side of the border.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#210

Post by shocks »

sotojuan wrote: post #155
sagischwarz wrote: post #21

The numbers seemed very high to me so I created a list on my own and thought I'd share it (single, no kids, full time job). 1. Work: 40 hours 2. Cooking: 3 h (who the hell cooks three times a day?) 3. Laundry: 0.5 h (once a week) 4. Cleaning: 1 h (and I am very clean, I just avoid producing dirt) 5. Buying stuff: .5 h (I try to avoid buying too much stuff I don't really need) 6. Bills: 0 h (they a are paid automatica…

How have you produced less dirt? I've been trying it out. No shoes in the house has helped a lot but I'm curious about what other ways there are.

I never understood people that wear shoes in their house. It's nasty.
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