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How do you live your life?

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Re: How do you live your life?

#21

Post by AlisdairO »

hermannj314 wrote: post #18
the_cat_kittles wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure what your trying to get at, but for the sake of argument- wouldn't it be wise to move the goalposts if it means you aren't depressed?

I'm not talking about clinical depression. But let's say the general, "I didn't get the promotion" style of depression. For me, you can view that problem two ways, "I'm going to work harder and prove my value to the company" or the move the goalposts approach, "I really didn't want that promotion anyway, I'll spend more time with my kids! No one will judge me as a failure if I do that." Shifting priorities can be rat…

> For me, you can view that problem two ways, "I'm going to work harder and prove my value to the company"

Surely that might also be a realisation that the promotion you wanted takes more effort than you're willing to put in to it?

Re: How do you live your life?

#22

Post by zerostar07 »

Let's try to rationalize the question. Raising a family is slowly losing some appeal due to overpopulation, possibilities of dramatic life extension, and the mere fact that it's something that everyone can do (and does). Also, history books never mention someone as a good parent. In the end it's an investment decision: what are you willing to invest your most precious resource (your time) on? It depends on what kind of rewards are regarded as better.

Re: How do you live your life?

#23

Post by VMG »

> bogleheads.org

WP:

> John Clifton "Jack" Bogle (born May 8, 1929) is the founder and retired CEO of The Vanguard Group. He is known for his 1999 book Common Sense on Mutual Funds: New Imperatives for the Intelligent Investor, which became a bestseller and is considered a classic.

Re: How do you live your life?

#24

Post by batista »

hermannj314 wrote: post #18
the_cat_kittles wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure what your trying to get at, but for the sake of argument- wouldn't it be wise to move the goalposts if it means you aren't depressed?

I'm not talking about clinical depression. But let's say the general, "I didn't get the promotion" style of depression. For me, you can view that problem two ways, "I'm going to work harder and prove my value to the company" or the move the goalposts approach, "I really didn't want that promotion anyway, I'll spend more time with my kids! No one will judge me as a failure if I do that." Shifting priorities can be rat…

>For me, you can view that problem two ways, "I'm going to work harder and prove my value to the company" or the move the goalposts approach, "I really didn't want that promotion anyway, I'll spend more time with my kids! No one will judge me as a failure if I do that."

The idiocy of the comment is that "not getting that promotion" is not a failure anyway.

Re: How do you live your life?

#25

Post by [deleted] »

hermannj314 wrote: post #11

I'm afraid that by saying "My priorities are God, Family, Health" that you are just punting. You fall back on that when in every measurable way your life isn't what you hoped it would be so as a coping mechanism you redefine your values to measureless standards. You "value" your family. What does that mean? You spent one hour pushing your kid on a swing because you realized you don't have the confidence, discipline,…

[deleted]

Re: How do you live your life?

#26

Post by tluyben2 »

hermannj314 wrote: post #11

I'm afraid that by saying "My priorities are God, Family, Health" that you are just punting. You fall back on that when in every measurable way your life isn't what you hoped it would be so as a coping mechanism you redefine your values to measureless standards. You "value" your family. What does that mean? You spent one hour pushing your kid on a swing because you realized you don't have the confidence, discipline,…

I think the comments here on your reaction are interesting; most people with careers (especially on HN) are working 24/7 to be able to spend, for instance, time with their family in the future (which, if you are an entrepreneur, statistically, is not likely to happen soon). And yet the responses here are saying that if you think family is important, you would let other things drop. There definitely are people who value family over all, and I know quite a few of them (my sister being one), but she is not on HN on a sunday. Neither does she value the amassing of money as something important in life. Reading most of HN shows that most people here do, no matter what (outside of killing others (at least openly; killing in China in factories is fine until the press finds out); killing yourself is acceptable risk).

So i'm not sure how everyone is so '4 hour workweek' in their comments; you can be with your family and you don't need millions to do that. If you really want that, there is no reason you are not doing it right now. I think if you have passion for something and you are postponing that for 'something something pot of gold', you don't really consider it that valuable.

Something for instance you quite often read in forums and such; 'I want to be with my family most, but I live in a city so I have this and that $$$$ costs per month minimum which is preventing me, in this economic climate to be with my family.' That's of course crap; move. There are tons of places in the world you can live of $500-600 / month and be happy with your family. But no there are a million excuses why 'thats not possible'. So you don't really want to be with your family that much, then, you have other goals topping that which you are trying to hide/disguise for yourself because you sound like a dick admitting that?

You can exchange 'family' with any passion. I have a friend who's biggest dream in life is to be a musician. But he comes up with 1000s of reasons why it cannot happen now. For the last 15 years mind you...

Re: How do you live your life?

#27

Post by jpxxx »

zerostar07 wrote: post #22

Let's try to rationalize the question. Raising a family is slowly losing some appeal due to overpopulation, possibilities of dramatic life extension, and the mere fact that it's something that everyone can do (and does). Also, history books never mention someone as a good parent. In the end it's an investment decision: what are you willing to invest your most precious resource (your time) on? It depends on what kind…

We are all fragile, lonely beasts. The history books don't bring that up either.

Re: How do you live your life?

#28

Post by zerostar07 »

jpxxx wrote: post #27
zerostar07 wrote: post #22

Let's try to rationalize the question. Raising a family is slowly losing some appeal due to overpopulation, possibilities of dramatic life extension, and the mere fact that it's something that everyone can do (and does). Also, history books never mention someone as a good parent. In the end it's an investment decision: what are you willing to invest your most precious resource (your time) on? It depends on what kind…

We are all fragile, lonely beasts. The history books don't bring that up either.

Probably because it doesn't matter for history

Re: How do you live your life?

#29

Post by Volpe »

hermannj314 wrote: post #11

I'm afraid that by saying "My priorities are God, Family, Health" that you are just punting. You fall back on that when in every measurable way your life isn't what you hoped it would be so as a coping mechanism you redefine your values to measureless standards. You "value" your family. What does that mean? You spent one hour pushing your kid on a swing because you realized you don't have the confidence, discipline,…

Aren't people who say they "don't" value family just shifting the goal posts to an easy tangible goal?

Given you are the product of a family (and, given your presence on HN, you were born into privilege). Have some respect for people who want to do well at raising a family.

Depressed people have different brain chemistry than non-depressed people. It's unrelated to integrity, or goals. (Except for where the two effect brain chemistry, which is very little). Science FTW!

Re: How do you live your life?

#30

Post by eternauta3k »

stephengillie wrote: post #3

I heard it in a movie - What would you do if you had 1 million dollars....not with the money, but with your time? Most people have a good, solid answer - it varies by person, but most people have something they'd rather be doing. I'm still trying to figure out what I'd be doing with my time instead of working for a living. I think it would be working.

I just thought about it and I'd do exactly what I'm doing right now. You just gave me some extra confidence in my choices.
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