Software trying to update when it is started is such a common pattern, despite almost always going against user intent. When I start software, that's because I want to use it. It's pretty high on the list of times I don't want it to become temporarily unusable while it updates itself. Doing the same with vehicle firmware is a sad but predictable state of things.
I can think of several devices I own that never do this. 1) My LG webOS TV. Somehow it always does its thing in the dark. OS and application updates have never been visible to me. 2) My car. Even though it can update over wifi, and by other means, it never tries to do it unbidden. You have to invoke its maintenance mode, at the time of your own choosing, if ever. 3) Google/Nest Wifi, OnHub, et cetera. Always up-to-da…
I would inclined to believe that maybe the manufacturer sends out an email or sms to notify you of am update and then you choose the time, while also being given a change log of what exactly is being updated.
otherwise what would prevent a bogus server asking for an update you have no idea about and installing something malicious and - whoopsie daisy - your car grows legs and disappears?