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Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com

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Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#21

Post by pfannkuchen »

Tade0 wrote: post #14
melenaboija wrote: post #2

As a father of a two month old (and acknowledging the article goes in a different direction of my fears) this somehow reflects some of the questions that appear to me on decision taking that affects my child. And one of my main doubts is how to deal with the tradeoff finance/time spent with the baby. Should one of us quit from work? Maybe part time? Nanny at home vs daycare? Part of myself says it is obvious that the…

My SO was out of the workforce for the 18 months until our daughter started qualifying for daycare and in hindsight it was a good call, because we could do e.g. baby-led weaning or address early signs of future posture problems and just be with her more. Long term we're both planning on working four days a week but to be perfectly honest it's more so that we can use that one day to recharge.

Catching future posture problems before 2? Curious if you could share more details.

Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#22

Post by morkalork »

kabouseng wrote: post #5
melenaboija wrote: post #2

As a father of a two month old (and acknowledging the article goes in a different direction of my fears) this somehow reflects some of the questions that appear to me on decision taking that affects my child. And one of my main doubts is how to deal with the tradeoff finance/time spent with the baby. Should one of us quit from work? Maybe part time? Nanny at home vs daycare? Part of myself says it is obvious that the…

Don't delay daycare for too long. The best teachers for your young kids are often other kids. I have friends who left / kept their kids too long at home either caring for them themselves or with a nanny, and the kids were developmentally behind. No I don't believe it was permanently, but it is amazing to see how fast your kids learn to crawl, walk, talk as soon as they see how other kids do it. Everyone finds their o…

This is something I've noticed with everyone that has more than one kid, the first is a bit immature for their age and the 2nd and 3rd develop at an accelerated rate. Something about constantly seeing and interacting with another child just 1 or 2 years older than them drives them to advance and try to mimic their behaviour.

Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#23

Post by DiggyJohnson »

em-bee wrote: post #18
kabouseng wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't delay daycare for too long. The best teachers for your young kids are often other kids. I have friends who left / kept their kids too long at home either caring for them themselves or with a nanny, and the kids were developmentally behind. No I don't believe it was permanently, but it is amazing to see how fast your kids learn to crawl, walk, talk as soon as they see how other kids do it. Everyone finds their o…

I have friends who left / kept their kids too long at home either caring for them themselves or with a nanny, and the kids were developmentally behind. No I don't believe it was permanently if it wasn't permanently, then why did it matter? what's the benefit of faster development? is there any? in later stages kids growing up faster is associated with missing out on childhood experiences. i don't see much benefit in…

Out of curiosity, in what countries is a three year long parental leave common? It just seems untenable, especially if the leave is compensated at full salary.

Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#24

Post by pfannkuchen »

DiggyJohnson wrote: post #23
em-bee wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have friends who left / kept their kids too long at home either caring for them themselves or with a nanny, and the kids were developmentally behind. No I don't believe it was permanently if it wasn't permanently, then why did it matter? what's the benefit of faster development? is there any? in later stages kids growing up faster is associated with missing out on childhood experiences. i don't see much benefit in…

Out of curiosity, in what countries is a three year long parental leave common? It just seems untenable, especially if the leave is compensated at full salary.

Based on what I’ve seen, there is no state sponsored parental leave program anywhere that is compensated at full salary, except perhaps for very low salaries.

Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#25

Post by em-bee »

DiggyJohnson wrote: post #23
em-bee wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have friends who left / kept their kids too long at home either caring for them themselves or with a nanny, and the kids were developmentally behind. No I don't believe it was permanently if it wasn't permanently, then why did it matter? what's the benefit of faster development? is there any? in later stages kids growing up faster is associated with missing out on childhood experiences. i don't see much benefit in…

Out of curiosity, in what countries is a three year long parental leave common? It just seems untenable, especially if the leave is compensated at full salary.

wikipedia has a list:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_leave#By_continent

it also lists pay, which seems to be a range of fully paid for part of the time, then partially paid and finally unpaid.

so in many cases you can only get the full 3 years if you can afford it, but having your job protected, knowing that you can go back to it is still better than outright quitting.

Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#26

Post by Tade0 »

em-bee wrote: post #19
Tade0 wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My SO was out of the workforce for the 18 months until our daughter started qualifying for daycare and in hindsight it was a good call, because we could do e.g. baby-led weaning or address early signs of future posture problems and just be with her more. Long term we're both planning on working four days a week but to be perfectly honest it's more so that we can use that one day to recharge.

my oldest didn't wean off until past 2 years of age despite my wife working full time. she was pumping milk and the kids got the bottle during the day, but the kids also slept in our bed and mostly nursed at night.

Baby-led weaning is more about introducing solids than weaning.

Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#27

Post by Tade0 »

pfannkuchen wrote: post #21
Tade0 wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My SO was out of the workforce for the 18 months until our daughter started qualifying for daycare and in hindsight it was a good call, because we could do e.g. baby-led weaning or address early signs of future posture problems and just be with her more. Long term we're both planning on working four days a week but to be perfectly honest it's more so that we can use that one day to recharge.

Catching future posture problems before 2? Curious if you could share more details.

We went with her to a physiotherapist when she started crawling in an uneven fashion - with one leg always extended sideways.

Apparently this is what babies do when they're not stimulated properly in the limbs and have built-up tension in the muscles and compensate for it.

Long term effects include one's default posture being like that of Mr. Burns from the Simpsons - with wrists in a sort of T-rex position:

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/ed/e3/b6/ede3b668d617f03927aca5ca5...

It's easy to fix - you just have to squeeze the baby's limbs a lot so that they learn their body's boundaries and challenge them to use their whole body by tactically putting toys out of reach.

Unfortunately all this takes time, so being there to do it is invaluable.

Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#28

Post by jcims »

miriam_catira wrote: post #17
jcims wrote: post #12

My daughter just had her first boy and she's struggling with this. She's a night shift nurse and will regularly go 2 days a week without seeing her little one (1 year old). Now when she's home he's on her hip all day long and they go walking and shopping and just hang out all day 4 or more days a week. So I'm guessing it all balances out, but this makes me a little less confident that everything is perfectly fine.

Honestly? My mom worked nights/ weekends as a nurse when I was little, and I have really fond memories of all the things I got to do with my dad. I think I turned out fine? I think the key there is this section: "Central to the construct of emotional neglect is a failure to meet the basic emotional needs of the child. Key indices of early emotional neglect include both a pervasive parental failure to respond to child…

Thank you for this, it makes me feel better. He’s always with someone that loves him deeply, and is never experiencing neglect.

Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#29

Post by em-bee »

Tade0 wrote: post #26
em-bee wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

my oldest didn't wean off until past 2 years of age despite my wife working full time. she was pumping milk and the kids got the bottle during the day, but the kids also slept in our bed and mostly nursed at night.

Baby-led weaning is more about introducing solids than weaning.

sure, my point was that nursing was possible despite the mother working fulltime

Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#30

Post by pfannkuchen »

Tade0 wrote: post #27
pfannkuchen wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Catching future posture problems before 2? Curious if you could share more details.

We went with her to a physiotherapist when she started crawling in an uneven fashion - with one leg always extended sideways. Apparently this is what babies do when they're not stimulated properly in the limbs and have built-up tension in the muscles and compensate for it. Long term effects include one's default posture being like that of Mr. Burns from the Simpsons - with wrists in a sort of T-rex position: https://…

Thanks for the details! I’ve never heard of this and it is interesting!
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