21–30 of 243 posts
> 1. Was it my intent to make his staff unproductive?
> 2. Do you think you could have told my engineer what you needed to, in a way that left them feeling positive and motivated to fix it?
> Always do that in the future, please.
This is a great article. It's a terrific opportunity for introspection. I do however want to point out that some of these may be less about being an insufferably relentless jerk than other pieces. > He is late to meetings, ... then looks at his phone or laptop while ignoring everyone around him This is also a pretty common indicator for ADHD. Not to say that excuses being a "jerk", but there are people out there that…
I've never actually come across an actually brilliant engineering person who was also a jerk. Maybe they sometimes superficially seemed like a jerk at first (particularly if you had a very thin skin), but not after you actually made an effort to get to know them. Most of the time though, the jerks just aren't even close to being brilliant. I feel this jerk attitude is quite often something that is used to mask inepti…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm still part Alice, I think. The Carnegie book really helped me, for sure. The difficulty though is that at some point if you believe something is important you may ultimately have to go through some kind of dialectic to make your case. How to Win Friends and Influence People says never have an argument. If you follow this advice you will reap the benefits of the book. However what you're building in your team will…
It'd be great if there was a social protocol for having constructive debates, so they weren't always assumed to be bad things.
I was so Alice for much of my career. I know this is going to sound totally cliche because this book get's recommended everywhere, but How to Win Friends and Influence People really did help me.
Do you feel like you've made lasting changes as a result of the book, or is it just another choice you can choose to do in a social interaction? *By lasting changes I mean, do you feel like you've changed and valued being more sociable?
This doesn't pass the Torvald test. i.e. Would your startup hire Linus if he hadn't yet created linux and git?
I have no problem working with jerks, as long as they're brilliant. Culture fit also means not hiring people who are going to scream bloody murder at a disagreement, if your team is full of disagreeables.
I'm curious, in reference to the post, how you would have no problem working with a "Bob"? Is there really no behaviour there that would bother you in a coworker?
I found the line of questioning and discussion by the manager of the employee he "told off" to be profound, yet succinct: > 1. Was it my intent to make his staff unproductive? > 2. Do you think you could have told my engineer what you needed to, in a way that left them feeling positive and motivated to fix it? > Always do that in the future, please.
Maybe there is a "non-asshole" way to do that, but there needs to be a place for this in society as well. Some people respond to gentleness and nudges, some don't.
The person I think back early in my career when I was an associate and my first tech lead -- yes! he was the biggest asshole I met at that time -- but it would be remiss of me to not admit that I learned and stretched more on his team than I did the rest of my time at that company by a mile.
This doesn't pass the Torvald test. i.e. Would your startup hire Linus if he hadn't yet created linux and git?
"Hmmm... that would be easier if we had a custom OS... I'm going to start on that first. Also, custom version control software would really boost our productivity..."
Alice will make a great founder. Alice, if you're listening, quit your job and go start your own company!