My Father the Werewolf

tl;dr ECT was used as an extreme form of treatment for major depression that had short term benefits, but ultimately resulted in a renewed version the same depressed person with damaged long-term memories, who ultimately relapsed into a depression with no obvious emotional or intellectual cause.

The subject's eventual death was natural, although arguably early, so from a ceratin point of view, maybe the treatment was at least clinically successful in warding off suicide proper.

Yeah. I'm the author, so I'm obviously biased, but I wouldn't say the TL;DR here is about ECT either.

This is incredibly beautiful. I don't like to think of things as unbeatable, but I prefer to think of them as quests that the hero can't be expected to complete presently. In video games it's not at all uncommon to encounter obstacles early in the game that require items or abilities from later in the game to overcome - if later in the game is 75 years from now, there's a lot of time you have to play without getting at whatever is behind that special-item-only breakable wall.

One of my semi-secrets is that my family's struggles with Depression led me to study Neuroscience in college after almost completing a degree in German Literature. I am literally the only one of 5 siblings and my mother not to be on depression medication for at least some period of my life - I like to joke that I vampire-drained the happiness out of them and caught ADHD in doing so. I don't share that joke with them. My father is not the sort of person who would admit to depression ever, and I therefore don't know his feelings on the subject.

In other words, I quit my other program to search for the silver bullet. I knew from the start that the silver bullet is as great a fantasy as the werewolf itself, but I mourn so much for those who experience little to no improvement from our current medicines - these are the weapons I would arm people with as they fight their inner demons, no guarantee of success, but no small boon in their battle, either! Yet some people's demons clearly experience as much effect from my offered armaments as they would from a giant tickling feather - and it is to their especial detriment, because others, even doctors, seldom have understanding of their particular demon's resistance to their usual solid steel.

Someday, that holy mystery your dad recited about the brain will be as much as thing of the past as geocentrism, or so I tell myself, and so I hope, but for now, all I can do is keep fighting, I hope you're able to continue your fight with at least moderate success, as well. Of note, in my judgment, which I know is not worth much - what a laugh after all, a stranger's judgment on the internet - it seems to me that despite everything, you are doing a bang up job fighting your battle, and I hope it continues to go so well, with as few lost months and hopeless weeks or years as possible, and also, it seems to me that your Dad must have done a reasonably good job fighting his battles, as well, and I hope I am neither offensive nor cruel in saying so. It's just, it's always so difficult to judge someone, your mention about Bruce's friend who murdered his parents is quite excellent, because that question troubles and comforts many minds: Not only do I wish I were so much more, but what exactly would I be if I were so much less than I am? A murderer or serial killers? A bomber? An abusive spouse and parent? With great faith that we're not living up to our potential, staring down in the opposite direction of our potential can be harrowing but in its way, darkly comforting, even if its a sort of stupid comfort (at least, in my head and heart, I can't really claim it as a resounding accolade that "At least I wasn't a school shooter!" - yet sometimes, I just have to sit back and say it in my mind, and be thankful that I haven't gone to that extreme. It seems to me that your werewolf did a reasonable job of not eating you or your mom, even if he still wounded you with his claws over the course of his life, and I guess I wanted to offer his memory that praise).

Forgive my rambling diatribe, still lots of reflection to do on your piece, I hope you have a wonderful day. :)

Maybe I didn't express myself accurately (English is not my mother tongue). I don't think depression is simple thing, banality to be solved by philosophy. I don't know how you read that from my post. I said it helped me _curb_ some instincts to 'let myself go' when things aren't going my way. Regarding 'cowards' - again, you misunderstood. I meant that people who take the slow suicide path are cowards. It's a subset of mental illnesses as a much bigger sphere.

1. It takes courage to take the blows life gives you and keep going, ("Do it for her" photo) 2. It takes courage to actively take your life, hurt yourself physically 3. It _doesn't_ take any courage to just let yourself go and fade away

I've had close family members 2 and 3

The idea that suicide is selfish and cowardly is a helpful one for people who take too much responsibility onto themselves after a loved one's suicide. It's meant to balance out the perspective of people who can only see their own failure to help. It doesn't make much sense outside that context.