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My Father the Werewolf

folks.pillpack.com

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Re: My Father the Werewolf

#11

Post by wf »

DrCrypt wrote: post #8
RcouF1uZ4gsC wrote: post #7

This comment previously had a statement saying that there was a current of domestic violence. That is a false statement. The author was kind enough to clarify and respond in the comments below. My sincere apologies.

I am the author. There is no undercurrent of domestic violence, glossed over or otherwise, in the article. My father had a psychotic episode once, due to a 1-in-a-million reaction he had to a misprescribed medication. My memory of this incident opens "My Father The Werewolf." During that episode, he was utterly terrified, and not in control of himself; in fact, he didn't even know who he was, or who we were. He gets…

Hijacking this to say-- this was beautiful, such an intense and satisfying introspection.

Although, the hopelessness in this: "As for depression, it’s the chasm that exists between. You build your bridge, don’t look down, and pray it never swallows you, because if it does, you’ll fall forever in that bottomless gulf, and die without ever landing."

I know you don't believe it's impossible to climb out of depression... so I guess I wish there had been something at least a little hopeful to round that out.

Re: My Father the Werewolf

#12

Post by headhunter »

Amazing piece, thank you for sharing. One bit in particular stuck out: "After all, every werewolf story also ends up with self-imprisonment—ostensibly to protect others, but really so the werewolf can protect itself from the wounds of the world."

I've always seen the story of the werewolf as an allegory for the alcoholic, and your commentary gave me a lot to think about.

Re: My Father the Werewolf

#13

Post by DrCrypt »

RcouF1uZ4gsC wrote: post #10
DrCrypt wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am the author. There is no undercurrent of domestic violence, glossed over or otherwise, in the article. My father had a psychotic episode once, due to a 1-in-a-million reaction he had to a misprescribed medication. My memory of this incident opens "My Father The Werewolf." During that episode, he was utterly terrified, and not in control of himself; in fact, he didn't even know who he was, or who we were. He gets…

Thank you for your comment and clarification. I am sorry for the false accusation and for offending you and your mother. Forgive me for adding to the pain of your memory.

No apologies necessary! I understand that the opening of the essay has some powerful imagery that might be triggering to people with first-hand knowledge of domestic abuse. I just wanted to make sure to set the record straight, that my Dad was the victim there every bit as much as we were.

Re: My Father the Werewolf

#14

Post by DrCrypt »

wf wrote: post #11
DrCrypt wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am the author. There is no undercurrent of domestic violence, glossed over or otherwise, in the article. My father had a psychotic episode once, due to a 1-in-a-million reaction he had to a misprescribed medication. My memory of this incident opens "My Father The Werewolf." During that episode, he was utterly terrified, and not in control of himself; in fact, he didn't even know who he was, or who we were. He gets…

Hijacking this to say-- this was beautiful, such an intense and satisfying introspection. Although, the hopelessness in this: "As for depression, it’s the chasm that exists between. You build your bridge, don’t look down, and pray it never swallows you, because if it does, you’ll fall forever in that bottomless gulf, and die without ever landing." I know you don't believe it's impossible to climb out of depression...…

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad you found my Dad's story moving.

Like a lot of things with mental illness, I think the truth about whether depression is beatable or not is more complicated than many people's narratives let it be. It's proven that depression is cased by a combination of environmental and chemical factors, but who can say where the one begins, and the other ends?

When I was growing up, my parents were really worried about me inheriting my Dad's disease. Then, once I hit my early 20s, and started doing a bunch of things that would have been impossible for my Dad--traveling, moving abroad, earning a living as a writer, having lots of friends and girlfriends, being generally extroverted and having a good career--they started referring to me as having "dodged my Dad's genetic bullet."

But I live every day with depression. I suffer from it enough to have a regular prescription of Zoloft, and have filled out more than a handful of single-digit scoring depression screening tests over the years. There have been entire months where I have felt utterly hopeless, looking in the mirror and hating what I see.How much did I dodge a genetic bullet here? My depression is very real to me, and very hard for me to fight at times. At the same time, it's macho bullshit to say that I am "tougher" than my Dad, just because depression hasn't ruined my life. I think it's probably fairer to say that we're both right, and I'm not as depressed as my Dad, but I've also--with him as an example--set up much better habits for myself.

Treating depression isn't zero sum. You can't beat depression just by taking pills, but nor can you beat it just by riding bikes, doing yoga, or having a balanced life. You have to try everything, and maybe in trying everything, you'll find what works for you. So I think the most hope I can give on this question is this: if your depression is beatable, you can beat it. But was my Dad's depression beatable? I don't think so.

Re: My Father the Werewolf

#15

Post by harshaw »

DrCrypt wrote: post #4
harshaw wrote: post #3

This was a fascinating read. Slightly more fascinating was that was sponsored by a Boston area tech company who I know a little bit about since I interviewed there years ago. They have a cool business packaging meds for patients, aka the "pillpack". Interesting to see this as a community service project.

Just to add some context to this post: "My Father The Werewolf" was published on PillPack's in-house web magazine, Folks, which aims to tell humanist stories about people with health conditions. Folks publishes one story a day, fighting the stigma around being 'sick' by showing that managing health conditions is universal. We're fully sponsored by PillPack, which views reducing stigma around health conditions as part…

Yeah, I should have been clearer, I guess I think that for a community service having a magazine about "fighting the stigma about being sick" and depression, etc is really powerful and cool. Most places do nothing or support a charity (passively).

Re: My Father the Werewolf

#16

Post by beautifulfreak »

DrCrypt wrote: post #4
harshaw wrote: post #3

This was a fascinating read. Slightly more fascinating was that was sponsored by a Boston area tech company who I know a little bit about since I interviewed there years ago. They have a cool business packaging meds for patients, aka the "pillpack". Interesting to see this as a community service project.

Just to add some context to this post: "My Father The Werewolf" was published on PillPack's in-house web magazine, Folks, which aims to tell humanist stories about people with health conditions. Folks publishes one story a day, fighting the stigma around being 'sick' by showing that managing health conditions is universal. We're fully sponsored by PillPack, which views reducing stigma around health conditions as part…

Since you're the editor, perhaps you could correct the caption on the last photo showing your Dad's friend John. "Left to Right" obviously doesn't apply to that photo.

Re: My Father the Werewolf

#17

Post by DrCrypt »

beautifulfreak wrote: post #16
DrCrypt wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just to add some context to this post: "My Father The Werewolf" was published on PillPack's in-house web magazine, Folks, which aims to tell humanist stories about people with health conditions. Folks publishes one story a day, fighting the stigma around being 'sick' by showing that managing health conditions is universal. We're fully sponsored by PillPack, which views reducing stigma around health conditions as part…

Since you're the editor, perhaps you could correct the caption on the last photo showing your Dad's friend John. "Left to Right" obviously doesn't apply to that photo.

That's ME John, not my Dad's friend John. But yes, changing now to be clearer! Thank you!

Re: My Father the Werewolf

#19

Post by qxzw »

"...my mother told me she thought he’d known he was having heart attacks but chose to ignore them as a way of killing himself. This, I think, is putting an overly heroic sheen on it, but the interpretation doesn’t surprise me. My mother worshiped my father, and there’s something noble about a slow, plausibly deniable suicide. "

I find it to be an extreme form of cowardice. I had a couple of close family members who always used to 'emotionally blackmail' when something wasn't how they wanted it. And it wasn't manipulation - they genuinely suffered. It was horrible. Like an inescapable black cloud. My uncle did it for so long, ignored his health issues on purpose that he eventually died. He wasn't even too old. I don't even remember exact cause, but it was something simple, couple of days in hospital and some pills would have made it go away. I had similar inclinations, but adopting stoicism helped me curb it.

Re: My Father the Werewolf

#20

Post by framebit »

arittr wrote: post #5

A wonderfully written, really moving read. There isn’t enough out there that really humanizes mental illness and makes it accessible - I feel like every time I read something like this it helps me better understand my own relationship with mental illness. I just think the werewolf metaphor is dead on.

I agree that this piece is exceptionally well written!

I also just wanted to mention, if you're looking for more things that humanize mental illness, that I've been particularly impressed by the podcast The Mental Illness Happy Hour. Some episodes are better than others, but all of them give voice to deeply personal, human experiences.

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