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Friends at Work? Not So Much

nytimes.com

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Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much

#21

Post by rokhayakebe »

Tycho wrote: post #10

One thing I find a bit weird, and I suspect it started in America (but I'm not sure), is when colleagues pass each other and they say 'how are you?' and keep walking , making it entirely obvious that they're not really interested in how you are. Or maybe they expect some rapid fire response. Not sure. But I think it would be better to just say 'Hi' if you don't intend to stop and actually talk.

Sometimes it is just a way to tell the other person "I acknowledge your presence." I prefer a smile and/or a nod, a wink.

Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much

#22

Post by dceddia »

"Technology companies like Google and Facebook provide opportunities for shared games, sports, exercise and meals — and research suggests that playing together and eating together are good ways to foster cooperation."

Does anyone else find this sort of stuff very corporate and off-putting? I'm all for hanging out with some coworkers on occasion. I like quite a few of them. But company-sponsored "hang out with your coworkers to foster friendships!" time just seems fake.

Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much

#23

Post by ashwinaj »

Tycho wrote: post #10

One thing I find a bit weird, and I suspect it started in America (but I'm not sure), is when colleagues pass each other and they say 'how are you?' and keep walking , making it entirely obvious that they're not really interested in how you are. Or maybe they expect some rapid fire response. Not sure. But I think it would be better to just say 'Hi' if you don't intend to stop and actually talk.

Yup, this kinda confused me too, but I got used to it and I started doing it too. Now I only say "hi", because I think it's disingenuous to ask someone "how they're doing" when in reality I don't really care. So if I do ask someone "how they're doing" it's a genuine question.

Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much

#24

Post by Cookingboy »

dceddia wrote: post #22

"Technology companies like Google and Facebook provide opportunities for shared games, sports, exercise and meals — and research suggests that playing together and eating together are good ways to foster cooperation." Does anyone else find this sort of stuff very corporate and off-putting? I'm all for hanging out with some coworkers on occasion. I like quite a few of them. But company-sponsored "hang out with your co…

In the case of Facebook and Google, they are not "company sponsored events" more like the company provide those facility and opportunities for people who want to do it anyway. For example you can drop by the arcade at Google and play a game of DDR, and if you make some friends there it's all for the best, not unlike the real world outside of work. Same is true for the meals, you absolutely can choose to eat alone with your headphones on, but you can also talk to people.

TL;DR the relationships are by no means shoved down your throat by the company, they just provide an environment that makes it easy.

Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much

#25

Post by mhurron »

dceddia wrote: post #22

"Technology companies like Google and Facebook provide opportunities for shared games, sports, exercise and meals — and research suggests that playing together and eating together are good ways to foster cooperation." Does anyone else find this sort of stuff very corporate and off-putting? I'm all for hanging out with some coworkers on occasion. I like quite a few of them. But company-sponsored "hang out with your co…

> Does anyone else find this sort of stuff very corporate and off-putting

No you're not. I refuse to participate in them.

Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much

#27

Post by sixbrx »

cb18 wrote: post #18
Tycho wrote: post #10

One thing I find a bit weird, and I suspect it started in America (but I'm not sure), is when colleagues pass each other and they say 'how are you?' and keep walking , making it entirely obvious that they're not really interested in how you are. Or maybe they expect some rapid fire response. Not sure. But I think it would be better to just say 'Hi' if you don't intend to stop and actually talk.

This is an American thing in general, not just a workplace thing. I know that people in other cultures find it quite strange sometimes, and frankly it is when the actual meaning of the words is considered and what their use implies. But it has somehow just become a kind of standard default greeting. I think it's probably meant to imply a kind of warmness to the person it is directed to, kind of like, "nice to see you…

Yeah a lot of us do it even if we find it awkward, because we feel it's better than seeming cold and smug. It's also kindof an invitation I guess for real talk in case the other party really has something ready to chew on with you.

It reminds me of the Dilbert where he's telling Catbert how he was confronted with passing someone he barely knows for the second time in a hallway, where he already gave the empty "hey how's it going" the first time not long before. Catbert asks what he did, he says he pulled the fire alarm, because he couldn't think of anything else ("I doubt Mrs. Manners will back you up on that one"). I feel that way sometimes too :)

Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much

#28

Post by YokoZar »

dceddia wrote: post #22

"Technology companies like Google and Facebook provide opportunities for shared games, sports, exercise and meals — and research suggests that playing together and eating together are good ways to foster cooperation." Does anyone else find this sort of stuff very corporate and off-putting? I'm all for hanging out with some coworkers on occasion. I like quite a few of them. But company-sponsored "hang out with your co…

There's a substantial difference between teambuilding work events on work time and putting out a basketball court on campus for employees to use in their off hours. The latter is still a "company provided opportunity for shared games".

Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much

#29

Post by nicklaf »

mhurron wrote: post #25
dceddia wrote: post #22

"Technology companies like Google and Facebook provide opportunities for shared games, sports, exercise and meals — and research suggests that playing together and eating together are good ways to foster cooperation." Does anyone else find this sort of stuff very corporate and off-putting? I'm all for hanging out with some coworkers on occasion. I like quite a few of them. But company-sponsored "hang out with your co…

> Does anyone else find this sort of stuff very corporate and off-putting No you're not. I refuse to participate in them.

You might not like to work in Japan, then!

Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much

#30

Post by mikerichards »

Americans have gone on vacation with 6 percent of their closest co-workers, versus 25 percent in Poland and 45 percent in India.

No, the odd ones are the Poles and Indians that are going on vacation with their co-workers....seriously.

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