Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband • Hacker News Board

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#191

Post by themartorana » Thu, Jun 04, 2015, 3:00 PM UTC

tcfunk wrote: post #183

zak_mc_kracken wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel the other way around. I'd rather die while I'm alive (doing or living through something really exciting) than completing something exciting, then entering the dawn of life realizing that I'll never do something as exciting again, and then dying. I wanna die in the middle of having fun, not in a retirement home.

That is not how I interpret that. I think what that means is "Don't let me be caught up in grief and mourning so much that I become the living dead." Hope that makes sense. Basically just praying for the strength to carry on and learn from tragedy, rather than to be consumed and defeated by it.

That's awesome. Thanks! An interpretation I didn't consider.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#192

Post by eli_gottlieb » Thu, Jun 04, 2015, 3:06 PM UTC

randallsquared wrote: post #161

Killah911 wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good question... Somehow if we can get out of the hyper rationalist maximization seeking robot mentality, an answer of some form may present itself. Accepting death helps. Not just my own but that of much more. Buddhism has some very interesting insights here. And I bring up belief deliberately, because the answer here is faith. Not certainty, but faith. Whatever it may be (leave legacy, do no harm, etc), it's doing…

> Somehow if we can get out of the hyper rationalist maximization seeking robot mentality, an answer of some form may present itself. If you have to be less rational to accept an answer, doesn't that imply that the answer is wrong?

And if you're supposed to come to an emotionally satisfying view of life by rejecting rationality, doesn't that screw-over those of us who gain emotional satisfaction from obtaining rational answers to things?

Oh, wait, everyone with a scientific turn-of-mind has already been labelled a "robot". Beep boop, then /s.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#193

Post by eli_gottlieb » Thu, Jun 04, 2015, 3:07 PM UTC

jbattle wrote: post #190

eli_gottlieb wrote: post #188

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was more cynical than he is at 32 when I was 14. On the one hand, I've learned to be more idealistic, but on the other hand, with how things are these days, what sort of worldview do you expect kids to learn? Since when should youth be so flagrantly ignorant as to form a worldview of sunshine and daisies while terrorism, corruption, and destructive climate change take up most of the headline space?

before that it was the threat of nuclear war, ecological collapse, and economic stagnation. before that it was the draft, violent racial injustice, and a nearly complete collapse of legitimacy of national leadership. Idealistic youts have always had reasons to be cynical. (and sadly typing up this list, I see how many of the reasons to be cynical remain powerful generation after generation)

Exactly my point! Cynicism is often well-warranted, especially if you actually have high moral ideas. What people ought to be scared of are the people who aren't cynical because they simply don't care.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#194

Post by unclebucknasty » Thu, Jun 04, 2015, 3:13 PM UTC

jamesrcole wrote: post #186

noir-york wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I don't think there's any meaningful sense in which anybody chose this society. I just showed you how: the vote. Just because its simple does not make it ridiculous.

Voting is the collective result of individual's votes. There's no sense in which it reflects an individual's choice. Nor is it like there's a singular "we" that has made a choice.

We collectively like to say that what's really important is not work or "the game", but relationships, friends, family, etc. It's repeated so often that it's cliche, and if a person were to say that work was more important than family, we'd nearly unanimously frown upon it.

And, we collectively vote and make other choices about our society. Broken as our democracy is, there is a significant portion of the electorate that expresses a will that seems incompatible with our supposed human priorities.

BTW, we also decide, individually, what we will allow. The cost of our choices may be "high" (e.g. Snowden), but we choose nonetheless.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#195

Post by loceng » Thu, Jun 04, 2015, 3:13 PM UTC

aaronbrethorst wrote: post #54

AndrewKemendo wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Investing money, creating new products, and all the other things we do are wonderful games and can be a lot of fun, but it's important to remember that it's all just a game. I feel like this sentiment is very common, but is implicitly stating that all of the other things, family, friends, personal health etc... are not games - when I don't see why that would be the case. Nothing distinguishes those things for me. Cre…

What are the things that—on your deathbed—you expect to regret? Will it be that you didn't spend as much time as you could've with your parents before they died? How about with your siblings? Maybe it was all of the times that you didn't make it to your kids' soccer games, piano recitals, school plays, or graduations? Or will it be that you didn't spend nearly enough nights at the office fixing your social media star…

Thank you for sharing. My father passed away 6 days ago and I am going through this process. I am staying in the "rat race" though no longer care to rush, rushing isn't important - taking the time to bring good, kind people together who have the talent needed to succeed when put on task is all that really matters.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#196

Post by vezzy-fnord » Thu, Jun 04, 2015, 3:18 PM UTC

noir-york wrote: post #179

jamesrcole wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that's a ridiculous simplification.

> I don't think there's any meaningful sense in which anybody chose this society. I just showed you how: the vote. Just because its simple does not make it ridiculous.

"The vote" isn't of much help in a single-party election.

Nor does "the vote" imply the underlying voting system meets a threshold of efficiency, that externalities do not undermine the efficacy of "the vote", or that many policies are even subject to "the vote" to begin with.

This idiotic grade school idea of "democracy" as a warm and fuzzy godlike essence helps no one and only poisons discussions.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#197

Post by michaelsitver » Thu, Jun 04, 2015, 3:27 PM UTC

If Facebook posts were eligible for Pulitzers, this would win. This is so incredibly thought-provoking, well-written, and well-constructed.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#198

Post by swombat » Thu, Jun 04, 2015, 3:31 PM UTC

drostie wrote: post #165

swombat wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's also good practice to critically examine any written piece, regardless of whom it may come from. While you may derive aesthetic and ostensibly emotional value from it, not everybody may necessarily feel that way. That's an interesting assertion, and itself worth examining critically. Is it generally good practice to critically examine any written piece? Possibly. Probably even. Is it always good practice? Perh…

I can understand how you feel that feelings (yours personally? others'?) were not respected. Especially very short comments can sound terse to the point of sarcastic. However, the tone that you're bringing here is not quite appropriate. You seem to be raring for an internet argument: you're taking offense at pejorative labels in posts which don't have pejorative labels, and trying to go badass-philosopher on equivoca…

Interesting comment, and I'll think about it. Not to take away from your comment as a whole, I will nitpick one particular thing. There is a big difference in tone, imho, in saying "some Silicon Valley executive died recently", which I believe to have a dismissive undertone, vs saying "a Silicon Valley executive", which is fairly neutral. The "some" is probably what triggered me there.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#199

Post by robobro » Thu, Jun 04, 2015, 3:33 PM UTC

xchip wrote: post #163

xchip wrote: post #151

Can anyone summarize that long text?

Downvoted? It is a 2000 words essay. We all lost someone special, me too. I was wondering why this essay showed up at the top of YCombinator (and more when it comes with religious stuff).

Yeah, I don't see the point either

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#200

Post by Dewie3 » Thu, Jun 04, 2015, 3:34 PM UTC

eli_gottlieb wrote: post #188

Dewie3 wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A 32 year old lecturing a (supposed) 20-something about life experience. I guess cynicism is becoming younger and younger.

I was more cynical than he is at 32 when I was 14. On the one hand, I've learned to be more idealistic, but on the other hand, with how things are these days, what sort of worldview do you expect kids to learn? Since when should youth be so flagrantly ignorant as to form a worldview of sunshine and daisies while terrorism, corruption, and destructive climate change take up most of the headline space?

> Since when should youth be so flagrantly ignorant as to form a worldview of sunshine and daisies while terrorism, corruption, and destructive climate change take up most of the headline space?

Maybe because:

1. Headlines don't equal reality. Do we live in a worse world than before, or do we just have better ways of spreading information, and that such headlines tend to sell more than more benevolent news?

2. They perhaps wouldn't be doing anything about it anyway. Many cynics tend to be complainers rather than complainers + doers. What good does it do if you're a cynic if all it does is that it makes you sit around and mope? And if you are living in a good place with good people, and you aren't out to change the world having a positive outlook might be better for you own good than worrying about people in distant lands that you don't intend to try to help anyway.