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I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

lof.flounder.online

191–200 of 305 posts

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#191
I realized that if I am to protect my child from smartphone addiction, I need to start with myself and that is the hardest part really.

So far I try not to use it in their presence and if it appears, we speak of it as "the monolith". The monolith is mysterious, but ultimately it's just a slab of glass. Less interesting than e.g. musical toys.

Also you can't take the monolith to the pool, which happens to be our weekly family activity.

As for internet access(in its modern incarnation), because that's what it's actually all about: I have a little quiz in mind, which should at least help my child familiarize themselves with the dangers of sharing data and pay-to-win schemes.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think young people today wish we could be back in the days of AIDS panic instead of covid panic.

So, back to telling folks that if gay men weren't sinning and sleeping with other men, there wouldn't be a disease god sent to wipe out the gay folks? Ignoring that folks were dying because they only saw it with drug users and gay men? Because that's what the AIDS epidemic was in the 80's. Edit: I'd add that folks would rather have AIDS from the 80's instead of COVID because for most folks, AIDS wasn't something they…

Loads of people today say covid is caused by sinners, 5G networks, a conspiracy to take down Trump, you need 73 boosters until you're finally safe, the world needs to be shut down until we flatten the curve (now until who knows when), etc.

AIDS panic in the west was dumb. Covid panic has become an endless treadmill of insanity pulling in all directions.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#193
I've made similar decision few years ago, from a big city to a mountain (but well served) area. My usage of crapphones (one of the more meaningful and politically correct name for smartphone, the other less politically correct and more real is macro-spy) drop drastically. I still have a smartphone (moderately new, one of the less crappy I found) but it's at home just in case of specific needs. Normally I go out without any phone, for car travel I tend to have a classic Nokia just in case.

To follow the post smartphones now are like party cards of the nazi-fascist era, in the past they are just a means for those regimes to discriminate citizens, now they are "active" instead of "passive" they are not just a discrimination tool, the original social score, they are active surveillance devices that can monitor much of any human life, but reasons for me to live the city have gone far beyond that tech aspect:

- IMVHO cities now and especially in the near future are not anymore human aggregate for productivity, service and sociability but open internment camps, where very few can materially control and rule many more humans, like an intensive farm, outside cities it's just not equally possible, a dictatorship can disrupt services and life outside but not much surveilling and oppress a spread population.

- seen the public aspects of the Green New Deal it was clear to me that cities will be just receptacle of poverty and pain: we can't evolve a dense city so an already made city is doomed, no well done insulation and appropriate energy saving design, no room for renewables etc while energy costs skyrocketing and that's not just a matter of cost, also a matter of physical availability of a service. Without electricity in a dense city there is no room for individual citizens to backup.

- density issues already surpass the advantages and foreseeable and (fore)seen unrest will naturally be much bigger in cities than outside.

- in any cases being in a served enough area the investment keep it's value reasonably well in almost all cases.

Smartphones and "virtual/surveilled" life vs a less constrained and less artificial one is an important but marginal aspect...

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#194

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> And the reasons adults suck at this is just that: because we were never taught to deal with it, because our schools curriculae are in complete disconnect of the world we've built within the last 40 years. Some companies see this as “innovation”: coming up with new ways to advertise, target, and stick to consumers. The problem with the “schools are behind” argument is that this is how the system is designed and it w…

> It takes years for newer technologies to get into CS curriculum. The problem is not the technology. The problem is how they are used, and ethics is something that does not change - or at least changes at a much lower pace.

If there's a profit incentive to misuse a particular technology, it will be misused. Ethics is always secondary to profit in a market system. If ethics superseded profit, capitalism never would've taken off.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#195
Our family follows a millennia+ tradition of fasting one day a week. On that day we aren’t supposed to use our digital devices.

It is fascinating seeing the morning transition from fidgety-ness to wanting to explore the real world.

I now feel bad for those trapped all week doom scrolling (no break!).

Life can be so much more, and I am thankful for my ancestors passing on this practical wisdom for leading a fuller life, even as the world has changed…

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#196
post #170

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Helicopter parenting has been shown to be orders of magnitude more damaging than any potential "dangers" out there.

Any sources for this?

> Results showed that higher overall helicopter parenting scores were associated with stronger symptoms of anxiety and depression. According to that study, helicopter parenting “was also associated with poorer functioning in emotional functioning, decision making, and academic functioning.

https://www.gottman.com/blog/helicopter-parenting-good-inten...

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27561986/

My note: The process of attempting and failing is the learning experience; children should (imho, based on experience and input from professionals) given the opportunity to learn and fail with grace, while being provided a strong safety net to ensure the failure is inexpensive (from a harm perspective).

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#197
post #28
post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I may or may not go as far as putting a custom cert on the phone so I can monitor all the traffic -- that will depend on if I catch them violating my trust. You are going to spy on you kids if they violate your trust, what does it take to violate your trust; visit a website that you don't like? How will your kids ever trust you again, if they find out you're spying on them for possible trust-violations?

I made it clear that I would not be spying on them -- that they would have full access to the monitoring and we would review it together.

So you'll go over and review your own browsing with them too right?

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#198

I don't have kids yet but it is something that has been discussed about my nieces and nephews. As you say, you don't want your kids to become social pariahs but you also don't want to give them smart phones, in this day and age it looks like the two are intrinsically linked, which is disappointing. I would like to say that we can teach kids to have a healthy relationship with the internet and social media but sites l…

ah yes the whole "Coca Cola corp. says you can't just ban your kids from drinking and eating sugar !!! then when they turn 18 they'll fall off the wagon and eat nothing but sugar ! better to have them eat it throughout their childhood so they KNOW how to avoid it"

do you people ever try to have an independent thought outside of the propaganda of big business ? what kind of nonsense of this, that children should be expected to compete for their attention span against literal city sized teams working to maximize the size of their algorithm

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#199
post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm curious about this peer group in which failure to have a cellphone results in "complete and utter exclusion". My nieces and nephews are in this age range (10-13 yrs), and none of them have cell phones, and none of them suffer total exclusion from their peer groups. As far as I can tell, they're all socially active and popular. Apparently it's different where you live, but I would take that as a bad sign on severa…

Even teachers use Whatsapp to communicate with pupils nowadays. Here in Finland, from 13 and up, it's pretty much total social exclusion and severely reduced ability to participate in school work if you don't have a smartphone. Teenagers without phones is pretty much uneard of, apart from in some religious circles. The thing about those teenagers is that they rarely meet outside school. Covid made damn sure parents a…

That doesn’t mean they need a device though, our family has an iPad mounted to the refrigerator for things like that.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#200
post #40

During the Facebook hearing, they said that its internal data shows that Facebook is most harmful for 14 year old girls. I believe that if you can somehow shield your daughter of that age from social media, she will be fine. I had a no display rule for our toddler but during my absence, her mother introduced her to the iPad, and now she watches YouTube on it whenever I’m not around. I know that the American Pediatric…

We took away Youtube Kids access after a few days. It's filled with so much very low quality "spam" content. E.g. random indians with thick accents singing to random recordings of them playing with toys and 5k iterations of that for every single kids song imaginable. And that's even excluding the potential of them finding content along the lines of "Elsa Gate". Youtube-dl is your friend. Download (or pirate) quality…

Something like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKp2gikIkD8

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