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Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#191
post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not if you’re single with little means and motivation to socialize.

I socialize in bars and while playing sports. Neither of those options are expensive.

I also believe that sharing interests - here a drink (even if non-alcoholic) or a sport is a great way to find minds alike. Meetups are a very convenient and very underrated online tool helping the lonely soul with that.

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#192

A few ways: First, our society now is (IMHO) suffused with despair and its second order effects, such as anger, on an extraordinary level. I stopped reading/watching/listening to that stuff a couple years ago, unless I absolutely had to (99% reduction) and, it was a gradual process, but I not only left it behind but gained perspective on it - what once seemed overwhelming is now just a (dangerous) absurdity. Despite…

Thats interesting. I also stopped reading news like 2 years ago, except the absolute necessary. Even for the necessary I found a way to manouver around newspapers websites and similar.

The toxicity every day news is spreading is very energy draining.

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#193
post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you for recommending that book.

Absolutely! Are you likewise a fan?

Four hours ago I would have said "I don't know!". My response was based on the summary that I read online. I got the ePub not long after replying and I'm about halfway. I'm already a fan. Thanks again.

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#194
Practice trying to find the positive in something. If you have been doing negative comments for a long time, the brain has sort of hard wired to respond that way.

Deliberate practice at saying something positive will help to rewire the connections.

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#195

A few ways: First, our society now is (IMHO) suffused with despair and its second order effects, such as anger, on an extraordinary level. I stopped reading/watching/listening to that stuff a couple years ago, unless I absolutely had to (99% reduction) and, it was a gradual process, but I not only left it behind but gained perspective on it - what once seemed overwhelming is now just a (dangerous) absurdity. Despite…

Thats interesting. I also stopped reading news like 2 years ago, except the absolute necessary. Even for the necessary I found a way to manouver around newspapers websites and similar. The toxicity every day news is spreading is very energy draining.

There are a very wide variety of news sources. Toxicity isn't necessary (other than reporting on significant toxic events, which I agree can add up). Two tips that work for me:

1) Never read opinion/editorial. For one thing, it's almost always ignorant and deceitful (and if you spend your time reading news, you'll be better informed than the opinion writers). It's designed to inflame you.

2) When you see inflammatory rhetoric - hyperbole stands out - go on to something else. It's provocative to trap you. Overcome the urge, build the reflex to click away, to see it as BS, as sophistry.

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#197

Massage under the mastoid process of the temporal bone. This will release pressure on your Limbic System in general, improving your emotional connection to the world, and in particular will let your Amygdala to settle reducing your sense of fear, in turn making you a more joyful and open person. Long term you want to find a way to strengthen and balance your Deep Neck Flexors and Deep Neck Extensors, however how to d…

Whoa, just fiddling up there with my thumbs has me feeling different. Are there any resources on self-massage you would recommend? You seem knowledgeable about it.

Actually I had to devise most of this myself as I've had a physical & mental, disability that was getting worse and worse with no cure or useful treatment. I'm writing things up at the moment, basically an explanation of how muscular imbalances lead to brain and nerve dysfunction causing (possibly explaining, depression, anxiety and a whole lot of other things) and what to do about it.

I should be able to share in a few weeks, if you're interested can you send me a message twitter.com/shardinator and I'll send you an early copy. Else I'll post something here when it's a little more fleshed out.

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#198

Here’s how I got over my negativity: Like many others here on HN, I lean more towards the “intellectual” and “analytical” side of thinking. I was not very mindful of my emotions and how they influenced my thinking. The thing about thinking is that our analytical minds rationalise our thoughts and hence our conclusions _feel_ rational. But what we don’t see easily is that our emotions define the axioms on which our ra…

I have had a similar experience with negative self-talk. Maybe also due to anxiety at bottom and I just haven’t gone down that far. How far into the retreat were you before you noticed this? Anyway, the main insight I wanted to agree with is the realisation that much of your self-aware cognition is more like mental froth. Learning to observe your own thought processes is incredibly helpful and might help OP to unders…

I didn’t have this realisation during the retreat, but in the months that followed (because I had been regularly practising).

During the retreat, however, I did experience more clear mindedness, and more compassion than before. There was a moment when someone’s behaviour irked me and kicked off a spiral of negative thinking (all very easy to rationalise by the way!). But I soon snapped out of it and felt compassion for that person and let it go. It’s a process.

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#199

Here’s how I got over my negativity: Like many others here on HN, I lean more towards the “intellectual” and “analytical” side of thinking. I was not very mindful of my emotions and how they influenced my thinking. The thing about thinking is that our analytical minds rationalise our thoughts and hence our conclusions _feel_ rational. But what we don’t see easily is that our emotions define the axioms on which our ra…

> I lean more towards the “intellectual” and “analytical” side of thinking. I was not very mindful of my emotions and how they influenced my thinking. > The thing about thinking is that our analytical minds rationalise our thoughts and hence our conclusions _feel_ rational. This is spot on! A lot of people call themselves "rational" when they are driven by unexposed anger or fear. Including fear of their own feelings…

Yes! The internet is a fine example of people acting out their hidden anger and then “justifying” it - perpetuating the dream that they are stuck in.

Another “justification” that is often used is that anger is required to spur people into action else we’d be, like you said, “emotionless robots”. This is a false dichotomy. Negative and positive emotions are two sides of the same coin and lead to clouded thinking. Being aware of these emotions allows us to access the deeper joy and wisdom within us. Being mindful of our emotions doesn’t make us emotionless at all. Once someone experiences the clear-mindedness of not being stuck in a cycle of negative and positive emotions, it is hard to not recommend to others. It truly is very freeing.

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Whoa, just fiddling up there with my thumbs has me feeling different. Are there any resources on self-massage you would recommend? You seem knowledgeable about it.

Actually I had to devise most of this myself as I've had a physical & mental, disability that was getting worse and worse with no cure or useful treatment. I'm writing things up at the moment, basically an explanation of how muscular imbalances lead to brain and nerve dysfunction causing (possibly explaining, depression, anxiety and a whole lot of other things) and what to do about it. I should be able to share in a…

If you're gonna post it here I'll just keep tabs on your profile since I don't use Twitter. Looking forward to the post!
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