No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
191–200 of 446 posts
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#192Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#193I live in a very poor Asian country where most every parent has never given a single thought to behavior theory or been exposed to the whole parenting industry. It's mostly just feed your kid, let them run around unsupervised with other kids outside, and have the oldest child handle certain responsibilities like getting everybody to school on time. Having worked with kids back in the US and here, the contrast in beha…
I have to agree here. I lived in a tiny village in Laos for 4 months a few years back, and I have to say, the six year-olds were more mature, independent, and emotionally sophisticated than some 16 year-olds I knew back home. Favorite slightly-related story: while teaching a class of 8 year-olds one day, a student in the back opened up his desk, and pulled out a machete. My heart stopped for a beat. He then proceeded…
You know one thing poor asian countries don't have? Laws, HOAs, enforcement of those laws, and child protective services. See what happens in the US when you leave your underage kids unattended in a $public_location in a well-to-do-upscale neighborhood.
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#194Quoting the article: > "Sarah, put on the green coat or the red sweater. We're going to go out, okay?" Choice among humans increases the likelihood of compliance. And choice isn't important, it's the appearance of choice that's important. I've gotten this exact advice from so many articles and pop psych pieces. Maybe they are written by non-parents or their children are much easier, but it never works for me. My 4 ye…
There was a TV programme in the UK called The 3 Day Nanny, about a super nanny who would come in and sort out problem children and parents in 3 days. It ran for a few seasons. Fast forward till she had her own child, and I saw an interview with her. She was completely shattered. Like a wreck. She had her own difficult child, and coupled with little available help from others, she couldn't cope. She looked and sounded…
Is there a link for this? I would love to satiate my need for schadenfreude.
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#195(Edit: I'm detaching this from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13101402 and marking it off-topic. That example wasn't a clear enough one to make the point about, because the commenter wasn't being snarky or doing anything particularly wrong. Maybe next time it comes up more clearly I'll try again.) I know it's nitpicky, but please don't use quotation marks when you're not actually quoting someone, and especially…
But... quote marks are grammatically correct. They're the only way to mention words and phrases you're not actually using them. Yes, the things we write are subject to misinterpretation, particularly when stripped of the their context. But asking people to avoid correct use of punctuation isn't going to make that less likely. Quite the opposite, in fact.
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Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#196> Tone of voice dictates whether you're going to get compliance or not. "Sarah, put on the green coat or the red sweater. We're going to go out, okay?" Choice among humans increases the likelihood of compliance. And choice isn't important, it's the appearance of choice that's important. Having real choice is not the issue, humans don't feel too strongly about that, but having the feeling that you have a choice makes…
It's interesting to me that my parents did essentially the opposite for raising my sister and I: they created a spinner that would randomly choose whether mom or dad would help us get ready for bed that night. We completely accepted the decision of the spinner because that was The Way of the World.
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#197Earlier quoted context omitted.
Similar experience but I know this exists. Some people going through their teens get pretty cruel. Definitely a minority
Sometimes, they are "cruel" in response to having been subtly (or not so subtly) treated cruelly themselves.
Definitely, I didn't mean to discount the agency of the kid. There are many more abusive households than we'd like to admit.
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#198(Edit: I'm detaching this from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13101402 and marking it off-topic. That example wasn't a clear enough one to make the point about, because the commenter wasn't being snarky or doing anything particularly wrong. Maybe next time it comes up more clearly I'll try again.) I know it's nitpicky, but please don't use quotation marks when you're not actually quoting someone, and especially…
But... quote marks are grammatically correct. They're the only way to mention words and phrases you're not actually using them. Yes, the things we write are subject to misinterpretation, particularly when stripped of the their context. But asking people to avoid correct use of punctuation isn't going to make that less likely. Quite the opposite, in fact.
These quote marks were not semantically correct. It is not a point of grammar. The comment literally reads:
> the psychologist's advice is literally "[not a quote]"
When you put something in the form of a quotation, the accepted meaning is that it is a quotation. In this case it is, literally, not something the psychologist actually advised.
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#199Earlier quoted context omitted.
It looks like what I posted might not have been clear. I mean: please don't use quotation marks to make it look like you're quoting someone when you're not really quoting them. In particular, please don't do that thing where people sarcastically put words in someone's mouth and then add quotation marks around those words to amplify the rhetorical effect. Uses of quotation marks for quoting someone, or for doing somet…
Interesting, i can see where the risk of confusion is. But wondering how it could have been written for similar effect... " For the teens, the psychologist's advice is literally: well, maybe don't be such a bitch in the first place, Mom. " Feels a bit confusing. Is there a better way?
Part of the confusion arises from use of the word "literally" in literally the opposite of its sense.
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#200Earlier quoted context omitted.
It looks like what I posted might not have been clear. I mean: please don't use quotation marks to make it look like you're quoting someone when you're not really quoting them. In particular, please don't do that thing where people sarcastically put words in someone's mouth and then add quotation marks around those words to amplify the rhetorical effect. Uses of quotation marks for quoting someone, or for doing somet…
This is how fictional dialogue is commonly written in English lit. I do not see what the original poster could be doing wrong by following commonly accepted grammar. Perhaps this is just hitting a pet peeve of yours.
Again, the quotation marks are fine, as long as you write carefully enough make it entirely clear that you're not quoting somebody on the thread. And if it's a pet peeve of his, it's one he inherited from the site --- it's a longstanding thing here.