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Reflections on Being a Female Founder

tracy.posthaven.com

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Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#181

Post by alexashka »

kinkrtyavimoodh wrote: post #121

This was a good read and I thank Tracy for writing it. However, I do have some remarks about the comments I am reading here, so I am writing a top level post so as to not single out a specific comment. It doesn't become ok to stereotype just because the stereotypes are saying nice things about the right demographics. I read a comment here talking about women going into management roles because of higher 'EQ', and bei…

> It doesn't become ok to stereotype just because...

What's psychology? Theories regarding human behaviour.

What's a stereotype? A theory regarding human behaviour you think is inaccurate.

Unless we want to limit ourselves to platitudes that interest no one because everyone agrees, we're going to express thoughts that some people consider to be stereotypical.

I take it as a given that I can only please some people, some of the time. Therefore I'm ok with expressing opinions that may be deemed stereotypical and I extend that freedom to everyone else.

I call it freedom of speech. I hope freedom of speech is ok with you.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#182

Post by [deleted] »

smabie wrote: post #130
umvi wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Personally, when I hear that a woman (or man) with kids is running a startup, I think "that kid isn't going to have the full attention of that parent..." Especially when I read stuff like: > I pressured myself into proving that I was as dedicated to PlanGrid as I always have been. I interpret that phrase as "...at the expense of dedication to my kid". I personally think it's okay to "be less dedicated" to work in ord…

Kids don't actually demand that much time. It just turns out a lot of (Western) people spend tons of time with their kids, so we think they demand a lot of time. For example, I used to live in Africa and in the town where I lived, kids 2 and older were expected to look out after themselves. Regularly, a 4-year old would be asked to go get some bread from the store, or even cigarettes and beer. I think this is natural…

[deleted]

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#183

Post by Gibbon1 »

ncallaway wrote: post #177
jojobas wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A baby can be fed from a bottle anywhere, no problem (I'm aware how much more beneficial breastfeeding is). It's the naked boob that sets people off. Expose even a male nipple in an office building or a restaurant and see what happens.

> It's the naked boob that sets people off Those people need to grow up

Friend of mine had a comment about such things. Someone that gets torqued by a infant being breastfed is a 'proud possessor of a personal problem'

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#185

Post by wolco »

jojobas wrote: post #162

Disclaimer: I don't make the rules, and the rules are probably unsubstantiated. There's no shame in going to toilet, it's just not in to do it in plain view. It's not the "feeding your child" bit that raises eyebrows, it's "naking your boobs".

There is no shame in a 'naking your boobs'. No reason to sexualize it either

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#186

Post by pm90 »

logarhythmic wrote: post #122
belorn wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Pretending that physical and mental health problems does not exist is a problem. It is sad aspect of human life that we reward social status and monetary rewards to those who are successful at hiding it, and punish those that either refuse or fail. It seems worth to ask if there is a better way. It also seems that in a time where we care about inclusivity and diversity we need to let go of the perception that only pe…

Maybe it's unfortunate, but nobody said being a leader is easy. It's why most (including myself) are not capable of such a role

Could be, but I assume leadership roles are hard not for keeping up appearances but for the actual work involved in being a leader. That we see hiding emotions as a defining/filtering attribute seems something arbitrary that society decided was an attribute leaders should have.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#187

Post by jojobas »

ncallaway wrote: post #175
jojobas wrote: post #162

Disclaimer: I don't make the rules, and the rules are probably unsubstantiated. There's no shame in going to toilet, it's just not in to do it in plain view. It's not the "feeding your child" bit that raises eyebrows, it's "naking your boobs".

I think there's no shame in breastfeeding in public. I think there should be shame for people that think it's more important to ensure other human beings don't see a breast than it is to feed a child. It's a breast. Grow up and get over it.

If you think about it, there could be no shame in using a toilet or sex, but there we go.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#188

Post by rapsey »

kmonsen wrote: post #155
jasonwatkinspdx wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I worked for a woman cofounder. It's incredible the things some VCs told her, including trying to get the other founder to drop her from the deal explicitly because of her gender. Make no mistake about it, the ugly goes way deeper than just a bad comment here or there. Thankfully the trend is toward better.

Is the trend towards better? I used to think so but the stories I heard in my time in Google was really, really depressing. The problem is that getting worse can be a self-reinforcing thing. Once a few women get badly treated and leaves the gender imbalance gets worse and the bad behavior gets normalized.

There is always at least one guy in any group more then a handful of people. It is terrible what kind of bullshit women have to go through in this industry.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#189

Post by tropdrop »

mindfulplay wrote: post #166

I have no idea what this company does but her account of it is genuine, honest and makes me appreciate the true difficulty of being a female leader. It's a bit unfortunate there isn't a government support for women in power to take with huge risks while bearing children. It's unclear as an outsider what a free market could do to help here and that's sad.

This is a good time to point out that the US is the only country in the world with no federally mandated parental leave of any kind. [1]

1 - https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/jan/27/maternity-le...

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#190

Post by pm90 »

toadi wrote: post #120
_7fvc wrote: post #98

I started a company 8 years ago. I went through startup literature. I tried to follow the advices. We got our product going for 2 years. But we couldn't make it big. We eventually transitioned to contracting work. We were basically working for a bigger company. Except we had the freedom to work from home. We're about to fold during this pandemic. I'm happy with the choices I made. My take away lesson is most of the s…

Seems like most people cargo cult companies together or even keep big companies running by cargo culting. Getting praised if they are successful but it''s maybe not on purpose they got successful.

How else would they do it? Starting companies is not exactly a science, is it? AFAIK MBAs teach you to run businesses efficiently and maybe understand how markets work but they won’t tell you how to build a firm.

You have to start somewhere. Seems like the cargo curling involves a bunch of relevant advice mixed in with a fair amount of virtue signaling.

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