181–190 of 243 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
`== True` is triggering
I have mixed feelings. I prefer “if (condition)”, but I dislike “if (!cond)”, since the exclamation looks sneaky, especially when the condition is a method call or a long variable. But I dislike the dis-symmetry of using != but not == . Programming syntax taste is hard!!
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yeah, the cultural presumption seems to be that if you don't call your mother you are a callous bastard who does not care about the person who brought you into this world and nurtured you. The sad fact is that since that relationship is so special, the callous negligence and other pathologies parted by the mother into the relationship are so many times more destructive. And this is not about the stereotypical sitcom…
I don't see why being addicted or suicidal makes someone unworthy of love.
Not to an addict and certainly not to their loved ones. See, you are on the one hand saying the addict is fine doing whatever it is they are, and on the other hand you are shaming the loved ones of the addict into a position of never giving up on him/her.
All of that will just make things worse for all parties. You see, the addict, after a point, does not really want love anymore. They want the substance. They may use love as a tool to live and continue their addiction but they are not in a condition to provide a reciprocal relationship. They have become, in a way, narsistic in the sense that other people are above all enabling agents to get their high, and beyond this utility are worthless to them.
So you see how just being ready to love another through whatever is not actually a great plan when heavy addiction steps into play?
First rule of all human relationships: You are not responsible for another person - their happiness, their addiction or what ever.
Some relationships can be actively harmful. Especially with addictive substances the other party gets easily damaged through co-dependency.
I think people who at least had a bearable relationship with their parents can't even imagine the horrors a parent can unleash on their children, so can't imagine a scenario where someone would want to cut contact. They can't conceive of not having a connection with them at all because the parent (or parents) prevented one from developing with their behavior. They don't know the warden-terrorist spectrum of parents.…
Is it a cultural thing Americans are so detached? Its usual here to call your family 2 to 4 times a week
Now this of course varies from culture to culture and household to household.
We are very very happy and our kids always have grandparents around in the same house (big house - it matters).
We get unsolicited advice and counseling from our parents ALL the time. Sometimes we hate it and sometimes we appreciate it. We disagree over many things and don’t see eye to eye on many small issues. But on a macro level, we are aligned.
Now that we are all working from home, my favorite part of the day is the morning where we all sit down and have a cup of chai made by whoever happens to be in the mood of making that day. We are a solid team and we all play a part in making each others’ lives better.
I have always wondered about how our kids will be when they grow up. I am not going to expect them to live with us and I am going to prepare myself mentally for that. But by God, it would be a blessing if my kids and my wife and I live together forever just like I am with my parents. Nothing would make me happier to live my life in a smooth continuous gradual way, rather than big disparate phases where kids move out, we live alone, we get very old, someone takes us in and take care of us until we die. I am scared of that.
I'm envious of people who have a kind of "best friend" relationship with their parents. My father, for example, I have almost nothing in common with. He's the political opposite of me, doesn't have any hobbies or share any of the same interests, and doesn't have the same sense of humour, so our conversation always falls flat. I bought him a laptop and introduced him to the internet because I thought he might find som…
It shouldn't be a surprise that the same culture that brought us deplatforming and canceling, would bring us cutting out your parents because you disagree with their politics. Do it for yourself. Your parents are a huge part of your psyche: they made you--100% in a genetic sense, and in most cases they made a lot of your personality traits by the way they raised you. And they made you in their image, because they cou…
So it isn't about the latest and greatest techniques of Public discourse. This is has been going on forever.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Is calling your mother several times per week typical on your country? Yes :-) My family is half European half South American. I call them almost every other day. On a busy week, perhaps I'll only call during the weekend. My Taiwanese wife calls her mom every day.
I'm not American and I call my parents maybe once a quarter other than birthdays and days like today. Your point?
I'm envious of people who have a kind of "best friend" relationship with their parents. My father, for example, I have almost nothing in common with. He's the political opposite of me, doesn't have any hobbies or share any of the same interests, and doesn't have the same sense of humour, so our conversation always falls flat. I bought him a laptop and introduced him to the internet because I thought he might find som…
She's dead. I needed another reminder today, thanks. On a tech site.