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What no one talks about when running and selling a business

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Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#181

Post by arghIdontwantto »

edblarney wrote: post #2

"I looked at her “like a little girl” when we were having a conversation." Almost all of the examples of 'having a hard time around other people' amount to their self perceptions not necessarily the authors actions. It's impossible to 'look at someone like a little girl'. It's mostly likely that these people either feel insecure, or, they project certain qualities upon the author. I have a very 'straight face' and be…

Believe me, it isn't impossible to look and talk to someone 'like a little girl'. Usually when a woman says this, it is usually because the other person is dismissive of the other person's ideas and thoughts, acts superior, and just sorta 'tolerates' them because they are female (like a father may look at their kid and no matter how grown up they are, they still treat their oppinions and choices as those of a child)

(ps: a man, but have a few female friends that confided this in me about their 'rich' husbands that treat them more as a pretty trophy with no input about anything than anything else)

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#182

Post by gadders »

eric_b wrote: post #43

I'm not sure I love the article, but I agree with the author's sentiment. I'm 4 years in to a successful bootstrapped startup, and I've lost many close acquaintances. I simply don't have time to keep the social connections alive and I have not prioritized them. I'm somewhat introverted by nature so this is not really a major concern of mine at this time, but I suspect it may be a regret later. What is challenging for…

>>They don't understand what it takes to get a customer to actually pay you

With your username I'd expect you to get paid in full.

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#183

Post by bartread »

scarface74 wrote: post #44

I am in my 40s and I work with a young married guy in his mid 20s who i would consider a level 1 software engineer on a scale of 1 to 5. He is a dreamer thinking he can strike it rich with his great startup idea working on it part time because he hears stories of all the people who sold their startups and thinks that's such a glamorous life. First I told him about survivorship bias and laid out basically the same sta…

That certainly is a valid choice, and if it's what makes you happy, then great. I wish it was what made me happy because, as you've pointed out, it's a lot easier (at least in some ways).

But that's the problem: it isn't the right choice for everyone. People have complex motivations but, for me, working in some giant corporation where it can be really hard to get things done due to politics and ingrained bureaucracy is nigh on intolerable. When I do it at all I do it for the money and for no other reason.

And this is not "special little snowflake" mentality (which is infuriating): it's pretty common for people not to like working in big organisations, to prefer smaller companies, or to want to see if they can "make it" themselves. Horses for courses.

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#184

Post by bartread »

gadders wrote: post #182
eric_b wrote: post #43

I'm not sure I love the article, but I agree with the author's sentiment. I'm 4 years in to a successful bootstrapped startup, and I've lost many close acquaintances. I simply don't have time to keep the social connections alive and I have not prioritized them. I'm somewhat introverted by nature so this is not really a major concern of mine at this time, but I suspect it may be a regret later. What is challenging for…

>>They don't understand what it takes to get a customer to actually pay you With your username I'd expect you to get paid in full.

Yeah, he ain't no joke.

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#185

Post by conductr »

lazaroclapp wrote: post #144
goblin89 wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You nailed it down with “adult” vs. “it takes a village”. Seemingly impersonal nature of the former makes me feel sad sometimes, while the latter feels indeed childish.

As a note, the later is very seldom considered childish in some cultures and some economic backgrounds. I have known people for which the request to their friends is not "will you help me move?" but "will you help me build my house?" (think bricklaying and setting up a tin or wooden roof). They would definitely return the favor, as well.

I think that's very different cases. One is help me I'm in a jam and can't solve my own problems. The other is embarking on a project together. My friend might hate me for not helping out in a jam, but probably won't think much of it if I don't want to help with the project.

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#186

Post by [deleted] »

lazaroclapp wrote: post #144
goblin89 wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You nailed it down with “adult” vs. “it takes a village”. Seemingly impersonal nature of the former makes me feel sad sometimes, while the latter feels indeed childish.

As a note, the later is very seldom considered childish in some cultures and some economic backgrounds. I have known people for which the request to their friends is not "will you help me move?" but "will you help me build my house?" (think bricklaying and setting up a tin or wooden roof). They would definitely return the favor, as well.

[deleted]

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#187

Post by bartread »

nebabyte wrote: post #57

Sounds like the author has personal problems they're mistakenly ascribing to their work. Many of their assertions are simply not true (It's possible to be confident without "being an asshole"; I know several such people), and it just comes across as written by an unreliable narrator (if I cared about this person's issues, I'd likely be asking the people who shunned him about what happened and see if the stories match…

Hmm. I'm not so sure. It's very hard to know someone in a meaningful way based on something they've written, and especially such a short piece. I think the author is just trying to be honest but maybe it's come off somewhat awkwardly. Branding him an asshole based on such a limited perspective into his life is perhaps premature.

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#188

Post by conductr »

wruza wrote: post #157
conductr wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agree with the dilemma free part. I've found "adult" friendship works like this. Just hang out catch up have fun. Don't call me when your car breaks down, call a tow truck. I won't ask you to help me move, I'll hire movers. The story of your car breaking down is good stuff. Let's talk about it over beers. However, I say that with a realization that poorer people don't operate this way. They are still very much "it ta…

I offer them money. That may sound as jerk, but actually if you're serious and open, they will not blame you even if rejected. There is no real difference between "help me" and "give me money". Once everyone gets it, things become much easier. On TFA's money part: I wonder if he offered any help to his relatives after he got money. Buy them a present like ps4 for their kids or new tv. Help solving bureaucrative issue…

I think offering money is the worst. If they really need it let them ask. In my experience, people keep tabs and grow expectations. I never offer to give money. It's become a filter for how I know if some is really really in a bad place. They won't ask me for money unless it's an emergency in which case I usually help. This is crossing more into very close friends and family.

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#189

Post by scarface74 »

bartread wrote: post #183
scarface74 wrote: post #44

I am in my 40s and I work with a young married guy in his mid 20s who i would consider a level 1 software engineer on a scale of 1 to 5. He is a dreamer thinking he can strike it rich with his great startup idea working on it part time because he hears stories of all the people who sold their startups and thinks that's such a glamorous life. First I told him about survivorship bias and laid out basically the same sta…

That certainly is a valid choice, and if it's what makes you happy, then great. I wish it was what made me happy because, as you've pointed out, it's a lot easier (at least in some ways). But that's the problem: it isn't the right choice for everyone. People have complex motivations but, for me, working in some giant corporation where it can be really hard to get things done due to politics and ingrained bureaucracy…

That's easy and I agree with you. In 20 years I've only worked in a large corporation with a lot of bureaucracy for two and I said I would never do it again. I only work for small companies for the same reasons you cited.

But the same thing applies. I worked for a company where any day the doors could be closed if the VCs gave up on us. Management was very open about the situation but there wasn't really a mass exodus, and I slept well at night not worrying about it, thinking that worse case I would be out of a job for at most a month.

We all got laid off during an acquisition, no one was overly concerned, we all went to lunch had fun and looking at my coworkers LinkedIn profiles, we all had better jobs in month.

Security for software engineers should never come from our jobs. It should come from keeping our skill set up to date and keeping our network of former coworkers and recruiters.

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#190

Post by michalu »

tetrazine wrote: post #104
michalu wrote: post #62

His problems have nothing to do with the money... not sure why he correlates that. Sounds like he simply sucks at interpersonal skills ... E.g. "I feel like my opinion doesn't matter around him because I haven't made $1 mil" we'll if that's how you make people feel it's your fault... if they're simply insecure whiners it's your fault for keeping them in your life... Same thing with friends... Another area to improve…

> no person with style buys $300 jeans, they're basically a product targeted at insecure nouveau riche... just shop at H&M) Hi, I understand what you are trying to say here, but please consider investigating the world of apparel a little more deeply before making comments like this. H&M and similar fast-fashion companies are deeply involved in practices like blatant, continued design piracy from both famous and small…

>the clothes these stores produce are not very high quality and tend to degrade quickly...

when it comes to fashion, you're not meant to keep it for years...

A person with style wouldn't bother buying expensive jeans... you just need high-quality shoes and accessories the rest can be a plain t-shirt and H&M jeans... not sure where you're from and where you get your impressions... I'd say one thing about the fashion magazines, they basically do the work for their advertisers...

the consumer awareness... yeah good point but not really relevant in the context of the above story...

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