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What no one talks about when running and selling a business

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Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#131
post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well the whole article came off as a humble brag, so there's that. He should just start collecting Porsches or flying airplanes or something. Jeez.

Can't say I agree. I think the commenters taking that tack are maybe adding a filter or two of their own to what the author is saying and being reactive to the less interesting parts of the article. That leads to a somewhat boring, if also exciting, round-of-denunciation sort of thread. (Boring-plus-exciting is the alcohol-plus-amphetamines of internet forums.) They're also ignoring the ways the author is already pil…

I feel like the denunciations aren't specific to anything in particular that he said, but part a general trend among some commentors of this site. When I read someone's personal reflections, I just listen to what they have to say and accept that they've shared how an experience felt to them.

It was a fascinating read written by someone whose outlook is much removed from mine. I'd like to think that the silent majority of readers come away enriched with a new perspective, and there are only a few vocal folks who need to judge someone's lived experience as being "wrong".

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#132
> Listening is an art. Talking over someone because you’re an expert in an area and they are not is not okay.

That's a nice observation. Trying to prove you're the smartest person in the room during a casual social setting has to be one of the most irritating traits I can think of.

Anecdotal story: I was at a party and commented on a plane flying over us saying 'isn't it so cool something that big can fly?'. Someone drunkenly chimed in giving a 5 minute lecture on the physics of plane flight - an intentionally jargon-filled explanation at that. Everybody in the circle just walked away and 8 years later I still remember that as one of the most obnoxious things I've ever witnessed.

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#133
post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can't say I agree. I think the commenters taking that tack are maybe adding a filter or two of their own to what the author is saying and being reactive to the less interesting parts of the article. That leads to a somewhat boring, if also exciting, round-of-denunciation sort of thread. (Boring-plus-exciting is the alcohol-plus-amphetamines of internet forums.) They're also ignoring the ways the author is already pil…

I feel like the denunciations aren't specific to anything in particular that he said, but part a general trend among some commentors of this site. When I read someone's personal reflections, I just listen to what they have to say and accept that they've shared how an experience felt to them. It was a fascinating read written by someone whose outlook is much removed from mine. I'd like to think that the silent majorit…

Any time I hear about a trend among HN users I ask myself whether the same trend exists among human beings in general.

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#134

I don't see the correlation between 'being an asshole' and 'sold my start-up'. There are plenty of successful entrepreneurs that are perfectly capable of relating to others and treating their fellow men, friends and family with dignity and respect. Some people succeed because they're playing nice with others, some succeed in spite of not being able to do so, some even succeed because they are are assholes. There is n…

Exactly... I had the opportunity to meet an almost Billion dollar company founder. I went in feeling awkward but he was very nice, treated me with dignity and respect and never once did I feel uncomfortable. Within minutes, I felt like I was conversing with any one of my other colleagues or friends.

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#136

You don't have to have a multi-million dollar exit to go through this. You just have to find yourself in a position where you had some amazing responsibility and direction and now you don't in a way that mere mortals cannot relate. There are numerous different ways to get there. My story: For just about ever I have been a developer in the civilian world and an Army reservist. Normally the Army reserves thing is just…

I get your frustration, this might sound banal, but that's why we're called 'veterans'. There's a lot of absurd, stupid stuff in the (US) military. But when it's firing on all cylinders it can truly be site to behold. It can be simple things, like imagine any civilian organization lining up at 6:30am, 1,000+ people stepping off to run at the same moment; in winter, in the cold, in the dark. That's a brigade run in the army. Happens all the time. To me the big thing is leadership. Top down and bottom up. Professionalism and personal accountability. You just don't see that in the civilian world.

I was talking to an older guy at work last week. He was talking about something military related using "that" tone of voice and some authority. Turned out he was a vet, first gulf war, air borne freaking ranger, now enterprise architect. I was amazed. Civilians just don't understand. Nor should they.

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#137
post #43

I'm not sure I love the article, but I agree with the author's sentiment. I'm 4 years in to a successful bootstrapped startup, and I've lost many close acquaintances. I simply don't have time to keep the social connections alive and I have not prioritized them. I'm somewhat introverted by nature so this is not really a major concern of mine at this time, but I suspect it may be a regret later. What is challenging for…

The "lucked into" thing resonates with me. I've done pretty well and have had a zillion people tell me I got lucky.

I used to really resent that. I bootstrapped my company, I took no salary for the first 2-3 years, instead I was out consulting to bring in money so I could pay the people who worked for me. That didn't seem like luck to me.

I built technology that most of you use daily, before I came along people thought the answer to their SCM problems was Subversion. I had to fight like crazy to get smart people like Linus to understand that I had a better answer. It was tons and tons of work. Getting people to see the value of what I had built didn't seem like luck to me.

I built a viable business and did all the sales. I used a portable phone with a base station that had an extra battery and it was routine that I would have to flip over to speaker phone, swap batteries, and continue the sales calls. 16 hour days were the norm on the phone.

My view was that it wasn't luck, it was hard work. A lot of hard work.

My view evolved. Yep, I did a ton of work, many many 80 hour weeks. Any founder knows what that is like. But there was an element of luck involved - I was at the right place, at the right time, with the right answers. Multiple times in my career that has happened. Is all the credit due to me? Not really, the luck part is being in a place where your work will go somewhere. You have to do all that hard work and you have to get lucky, hard work is not enough.

And that is why I log in as luckydude.

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> My definition of a friend is someone you can rely on when things goes to shit eg... Being half way across the country and you've just been robbed and they drive 20 hours to pick you up. Yes, that's one possible quality in a friend. Another is making time for _their_ shit as well and it doesn't sound like the author did very much of that. It's also nice to make time for friends without having to deal with either you…

Agree with the dilemma free part. I've found "adult" friendship works like this. Just hang out catch up have fun. Don't call me when your car breaks down, call a tow truck. I won't ask you to help me move, I'll hire movers. The story of your car breaking down is good stuff. Let's talk about it over beers. However, I say that with a realization that poorer people don't operate this way. They are still very much "it ta…

You nailed it down with “adult” vs. “it takes a village”. Seemingly impersonal nature of the former makes me feel sad sometimes, while the latter feels indeed childish.

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#139
post #43

I'm not sure I love the article, but I agree with the author's sentiment. I'm 4 years in to a successful bootstrapped startup, and I've lost many close acquaintances. I simply don't have time to keep the social connections alive and I have not prioritized them. I'm somewhat introverted by nature so this is not really a major concern of mine at this time, but I suspect it may be a regret later. What is challenging for…

I'm in the same boat. 6 months into a 7 days a week routine of bootstrapping my business. It's beginning to pay off but being so selfish with my time has definitely frayed relationships. Luckily these are friends I've known long enough to understand that the frequency of our friendship says nothing of its quality.

Plus don't underestimate the power of a WhatsaApp group or email to rekindle connections.

> this is not really a major concern of mine at this time, but I suspect it may be a regret later.

Possibly. If you succeed though (and I hope you do), the door opens to more connections. Not that friendships are interchangeable but to own your time and be a successful business owner provides the tools and experience to meet many like-minded individuals.

Depending on your age and interests, the 'digital nomad' scene is an excellent way to meet interesting peeps who will '"understand the obsession and inability to "turn it off."'

Re: What no one talks about when running and selling a business

#140
post #4

I also sold my startup. same story as far as revenue, exit etc. I'm not sure that selling your company was the reason for your social issues. I've had the best year of my life post acquisition - spending more time with family, friends and thinking what's next. constantly thinking about what's next, it's actually annoying that I can't turn it off. The "how much did you make" question is super annoying and it happens b…

I also, also sold my startup last year and am sitting on a nice pile of FU money. The pace I'd wound myself up to over the past 10 years of building culminated with a truly awful 2016 where I did little else but road-show, due-diligence, and try to hit targets required to close. I haven't spoken to some friends in years, and I'm having trouble connecting with current friends & other parents in my community who are mo…

Do you know of a good way to search/find such entrepreneur meet-ups? I find myself craving this sort of interaction more and more as time goes on.
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