181–190 of 243 posts
From my perspective, I think most people want to be socially isolated, or at the very least, never change their social bubble. After completing school, I didn't want to be lonely when living in the working world. So I bought a few books on socializing, picked up swing dance, went to meetups, took adult education classes and volunteered in the US election. After 16 months of continuous practice, I have made 0 friends.…
From my perspective, I think most people want to be socially isolated, or at the very least, never change their social bubble. After completing school, I didn't want to be lonely when living in the working world. So I bought a few books on socializing, picked up swing dance, went to meetups, took adult education classes and volunteered in the US election. After 16 months of continuous practice, I have made 0 friends.…
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Right. It's not an issue of technology, for the most part, but it's the way American cities are designed. Instead of mixed-use walkable neighborhoods where people with a variety of incomes and backgrounds live, and stay put, we have suburban fortresses where people live in a box, never talk to their neighbors, drive a box to work, work in a box, then do it all over again. The national highway system was great for a n…
I know the whole stereotype of suburban isolation is popular, but I have never found it to be true. I have lived in cities, small towns, and in suburbia. I found suburban folk knew their neighbors the most. In the city, people ignore each other. In small towns, you know everyone, but almost too much so. But in the suburbs, we knew everyone within about 5 homes, and the kids would go out and play together, we'd have d…
Neither of these is proof that one is inherently better than the other, just that there are many dependent factors which can change the fabric of a neighborhood in any setting. That's the point of the entire field of urban studies existing; to understand what makes these types of places happen. As you would expect, many of the communities that we have in reality don't implement the best solutions that have been discovered due to local resistance, funding issues, misguided political mandates, etc.
From my perspective, I think most people want to be socially isolated, or at the very least, never change their social bubble. After completing school, I didn't want to be lonely when living in the working world. So I bought a few books on socializing, picked up swing dance, went to meetups, took adult education classes and volunteered in the US election. After 16 months of continuous practice, I have made 0 friends.…
Just like anything else, people want social interactions that are stimulating and rewarding. Being around other people for the sake of being around other warm bodies is typically not very interesting for most people. Who has no shortage of friends? People with obvious value propositions. Rich or influential people. Well connected people. Good looking people. People who already have a lot of friends. It's strange to t…
From my perspective, I think most people want to be socially isolated, or at the very least, never change their social bubble. After completing school, I didn't want to be lonely when living in the working world. So I bought a few books on socializing, picked up swing dance, went to meetups, took adult education classes and volunteered in the US election. After 16 months of continuous practice, I have made 0 friends.…
Just repeatedly showing up to these things and making an effort to talk to these people a bit each time and eventually I stopped being a stranger to people and started getting invited to private events they hosted. It might have helped that the meetups I focused on were often board game related (or movies or dinners or theater) and I'm a board game nut, though. I'm also getting more and move involved with my local writer's group (hosted two writer's workshops last year).
I've gone to several software development meetups and had really poor experiences befriending people there. People seem to be more shy or standoff-ish, or the focus is too much on the lecture or 'hacking in a corner' and not on a group activity, so that might be part of it. Oh, also I think too many of those people go to those for 'professional networking' purposes and not to have some fun talking about technology and making some genuine connections, so it feels a little artificial, too.
Do the studies factor in introverts vs. extroverts? Do the studies factor in intelligence? Do the studies factor in people that have been alone for nearly all their life? And what about pets? Are they useful in alleviating loneliness?
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I hear you. Be happy where you are. It's essentially a form of self-delusion. And I DARE you to watch Ren & Stimpy's "Stimpy's Invention[1]" and not be happy, at least for a little while. [1] in which Stimpy invents "The Happy Helmet" and Ren is his ... involuntary happiness subject. And yes - it's on YouTube. "I don't think you're happy enough! That's right! I'll teach you to be happy! I'll teach your grandmother to…
Haha this is so funny as I found myself singing "happy happy joy joy" earlier today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVRJ8TiicM4
Love that rockabilly beat. Can't be sad when listening to that.
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I used to be like you. I am high functioning autistic so social interaction is mentally very hard for me and I feel completely drained after talking to people for an extended period of time. That said, I am now quite extroverted, especially when intoxicated. Making friends is hard. I am a lot more social than I used to be now but I have a wide and shallow list of people I get along with. I don't feel there is anyone…
As somebody else on the spectrum, how did you get to understand dating? I find that I miss so many cues, and there's a lot about human interactions that I don't understand.